No More Learning

To the latter it is a double
advantage; for it diminishes their pain here, and rewards them with
heavenly bliss hereafter.

But providence is in another respect kinder to the poor than the rich;
for as it thus makes the life after death more desirable, so it smooths
the passage there. The wretched have had a long familiarity with every
face of terror. The man of sorrow lays himself quietly down, without
possessions to regret, and but few ties to stop his departure: he feels
only nature’s pang in the final separation, and this is no way greater
than he has often fainted under before; for after a certain degree of
pain, every new breach that death opens in the constitution, nature
kindly covers with insensibility.

Thus providence has given the wretched two advantages over the happy, in
this life, greater felicity in dying, and in heaven all that
superiority of pleasure which arises from contrasted enjoyment. And this
superiority, my friends, is no small advantage, and seems to be one of
the pleasures of the poor man in the parable; for though he was already
in heaven, and felt all the raptures it could give, yet it was mentioned
as an addition to his happiness, that he had once been wretched and now
was comforted, that he had known what it was to be miserable, and now
felt what it was to be happy.

Thus, my friends, you see religion does what philosophy could never do:
it shews the equal dealings of heaven to the happy and the unhappy, and
levels all human enjoyments to nearly the same standard. It gives to
both rich and poor the same happiness hereafter, and equal hopes to
aspire after it; but if the rich have the advantage of enjoying pleasure
here, the poor have the endless satisfaction of knowing what it was once
to be miserable, when crowned with endless felicity hereafter; and even
though this should be called a small advantage, yet being an eternal
one, it must make up by duration what the temporal happiness of the
great may have exceeded by intenseness.

These are therefore the consolations which the wretched have peculiar
to themselves, and in which they are above the rest of mankind; in other
respects they are below them. They who would know the miseries of the
poor must see life and endure it. To declaim on the temporal advantages
they enjoy, is only repeating what none either believe or practise. The
men who have the necessaries of living are not poor, and they who want
them must be miserable. Yes, my friends, we must be miserable. No vain
efforts of a refined imagination can sooth the wants of nature, can
give elastic sweetness to the dank vapour of a dungeon, or ease to the
throbbings of a broken heart. Let the philosopher from his couch of
softness tell us that we can resist all these. Alas! the effort by which
we resist them is still the greatest pain! Death is slight, and any man
may sustain it; but torments are dreadful, and these no man can endure.

To us then, my friends, the promises of happiness in heaven should be
peculiarly dear; for if our reward be in this life alone, we are then
indeed of all men the most miserable. When I look round these gloomy
walls, made to terrify, as well as to confine us; this light that only
serves to shew the horrors of the place, those shackles that tyranny has
imposed, or crime made necessary; when I survey these emaciated looks,
and hear those groans, O my friends, what a glorious exchange would
heaven be for these. To fly through regions unconfined as air, to
bask in the sunshine of eternal bliss, to carrol over endless hymns
of praise, to have no master to threaten or insult us, but the form of
goodness himself for ever in our eyes, when I think of these things,
death becomes the messenger of very glad tidings; when I think of these
things, his sharpest arrow becomes the staff of my support; when I think
of these things, what is there in life worth having; when I think of
these things, what is there that should not be spurned away: kings in
their palaces should groan for such advantages; but we, humbled as we
are, should yearn for them.

And shall these things be ours? Ours they will certainly be if we
but try for them; and what is a comfort, we are shut out from many
temptations that would retard our pursuit. Only let us try for them, and
they will certainly be ours, and what is still a comfort, shortly too;
for if we look back on past life, it appears but a very short span, and
whatever we may think of the rest of life, it will yet be found of
less duration; as we grow older, the days seem to grow shorter, and our
intimacy with time, ever lessens the perception of his stay. Then let
us take comfort now, for we shall soon be at our journey’s end; we
shall soon lay down the heavy burthen laid by heaven upon us, and though
death, the only friend of the wretched, for a little while mocks the
weary traveller with the view, and like his horizon, still flies before
him; yet the time will certainly and shortly come, when we shall cease
from our toil; when the luxurious great ones of the world shall no
more tread us to the earth; when we shall think with pleasure on our
sufferings below; when we shall be surrounded with all our friends, or
such as deserved our friendship; when our bliss shall be unutterable,
and still, to crown all, unending.



CHAPTER 30

Happier prospects begin to appear. Let us be inflexible, and
fortune will at last change in our favour


When I had thus finished and my audience was retired, the gaoler, who
was one of the most humane of his profession, hoped I would not be
displeased, as what he did was but his duty, observing that he must be
obliged to remove my son into a stronger cell, but that he should be
permitted to revisit me every morning. I thanked him for his clemency,
and grasping my boy’s hand, bade him farewell, and be mindful of the
great duty that was before him.

I again, therefore laid me down, and one of my little ones sate by my
bedside reading, when Mr Jenkinson entering, informed me that there was
news of my daughter; for that she was seen by a person about two hours
before in a strange gentleman’s company, and that they had stopt at
a neighbouring village for refreshment, and seemed as if returning to
town. He had scarce delivered this news, when the gaoler came with looks
of haste and pleasure, to inform me, that my daughter was found. Moses
came running in a moment after, crying out that his sister Sophy was
below and coming up with our old friend Mr Burchell.

Just as he delivered this news my dearest girl entered, and with looks
almost wild with pleasure, ran to kiss me in a transport of affection.
Her mother’s tears and silence also shewed her pleasure. --‘Here,
pappa,’ cried the charming girl, ‘here is the brave man to whom I owe my
delivery; to this gentleman’s intrepidity I am indebted for my happiness
and safety--’ A kiss from Mr Burchell, whose pleasure seemed even
greater than hers, interrupted what she was going to add.

‘Ah, Mr Burchell,’ cried I, ‘this is but a wretched habitation you now
find us in; and we are now very different from what you last saw us. You
were ever our friend: we have long discovered our errors with regard
to you, and repented of our ingratitude. After the vile usage you then
received at my hands I am almost ashamed to behold your face; yet I hope
you’ll forgive me, as I was deceived by a base ungenerous wretch, who,
under the mask of friendship, has undone me. ’

‘It is impossible,’ replied Mr Burchell, ‘that I should forgive you, as
you never deserved my resentment. I partly saw your delusion then, and
as it was out of my power to restrain, I could only pity it! ’

‘It was ever my conjecture,’ cried I, ‘that your mind was noble; but now
I find it so. But tell me, my dear child, how hast thou been relieved,
or who the ruffians were who carried thee away? ’

‘Indeed, Sir,’ replied she, ‘as to the villain who carried me off, I am
yet ignorant. For as my mamma and I were walking out, he came behind us,
and almost before I could call for help, forced me into the post-chaise,
and in an instant the horses drove away. I met several on the road, to
whom I cried out for assistance; but they disregarded my entreaties.
In the mean time the ruffian himself used every art to hinder me from
crying out: he flattered and threatened by turns, and swore that if I
continued but silent, he intended no harm. In the mean time I had broken
the canvas that he had drawn up, and whom should I perceive at some
distance but your old friend Mr Burchell, walking along with his usual
swiftness, with the great stick for which we used so much to ridicule
him. As soon as we came within hearing, I called out to him by name,
and entreated his help. I repeated my exclamations several times, upon
which, with a very loud voice, he bid the postillion stop; but the boy
took no notice, but drove on with still greater speed. I now thought he
could never overtake us, when in less than a minute I saw Mr Burchell
come running up by the side of the horses, and with one blow knock the
postillion to the ground. The horses when he was fallen soon stopt of
themselves, and the ruffian stepping out, with oaths and menaces drew
his sword, and ordered him at his peril to retire; but Mr Burchell
running up, shivered his sword to pieces, and then pursued him for near
a quarter of a mile; but he made his escape. I was at this time come out
myself, willing to assist my deliverer; but he soon returned to me in
triumph. The postillion, who was recovered, was going to make his escape
too; but Mr Burchell ordered him at his peril to mount again, and drive
back to town. Finding it impossible to resist, he reluctantly complied,
though the wound he had received seemed, to me at least, to be
dangerous. He continued to complain of the pain as we drove along, so
that he at last excited Mr Burchell’s compassion, who, at my request,
exchanged him for another at an inn where we called on our return. ’

‘Welcome then,’ cried I, ‘my child, and thou her gallant deliverer, a
thousand welcomes. Though our chear is but wretched, yet our hearts are
ready to receive you. And now, Mr Burchell, as you have delivered my
girl, if you think her a recompence she is yours, if you can stoop to an
alliance with a family so poor as mine, take her, obtain her consent, as
I know you have her heart, and you have mine. And let me tell you, Sir,
that I give you no small treasure, she has been celebrated for beauty
it is true, but that is not my meaning, I give you up a treasure in her
mind. ’

‘But I suppose, Sir,’ cried Mr Burchell, ‘that you are apprized of my
circumstances, and of my incapacity to support her as she deserves? ’

‘If your present objection,’ replied I, ‘be meant as an evasion of my
offer, I desist: but I know no man so worthy to deserve her as you; and
if I could give her thousands, and thousands sought her from me, yet my
honest brave Burchell should be my dearest choice. ’

To all this his silence alone seemed to give a mortifying refusal, and
without the least reply to my offer, he demanded if we could not be
furnished with refreshments from the next inn, to which being answered
in the affirmative, he ordered them to send in the best dinner that
could be provided upon such short notice. He bespoke also a dozen of
their best wine; and some cordials for me. Adding, with a smile, that he
would stretch a little for once, and tho’ in a prison, asserted he was
never better disposed to be merry. The waiter soon made his appearance
with preparations for dinner, a table was lent us by the gaoler, who
seemed remarkably assiduous, the wine was disposed in order, and two
very well-drest dishes were brought in.

My daughter had not yet heard of her poor brother’s melancholy
situation, and we all seemed unwilling to damp her cheerfulness by the
relation. But it was in vain that I attempted to appear chearful,
the circumstances of my unfortunate son broke through all efforts to
dissemble; so that I was at last obliged to damp our mirth by relating
his misfortunes, and wishing that he might be permitted to share with us
in this little interval of satisfaction. After my guests were recovered,
from the consternation my account had produced, I requested also that Mr
Jenkinson, a fellow prisoner, might be admitted, and the gaoler granted
my request with an air of unusual submission. The clanking of my
son’s irons was no sooner heard along the passage, than his sister ran
impatiently to meet him; while Mr Burchell, in the mean time, asked me
if my son’s name were George, to which replying in the affirmative,
he still continued silent. As soon as my boy entered the room, I
could perceive he regarded Mr Burchell with a look of astonishment and
reverence. ‘Come on,’ cried I, ‘my son, though we are fallen very low,
yet providence has been pleased to grant us some small relaxation from
pain. Thy sister is restored to us, and there is her deliverer: to that
brave man it is that I am indebted for yet having a daughter, give him,
my boy, the hand of friendship, he deserves our warmest gratitude. ’

My son seemed all this while regardless of what I said, and still
continued fixed at respectful distance. --‘My dear brother,’ cried his
sister, ‘why don’t you thank my good deliverer; the brave should ever
love each other. ’

He still continued his silence and astonishment, till our guest at last
perceived himself to be known, and assuming all his native dignity,
desired my son to come forward. Never before had I seen any thing so
truly majestic as the air he assumed upon this occasion. The greatest
object in the universe, says a certain philosopher, is a good man
struggling with adversity; yet there is still a greater, which is the
good man that comes to relieve it. After he had regarded my son for some
time with a superior air, ‘I again find,’ said he, ‘unthinking boy, that
the same crime--’ But here he was interrupted by one of the gaoler’s
servants, who came to inform us that a person of distinction, who
had driven into town with a chariot and several attendants, sent his
respects to the gentleman that was with us, and begged to know when he
should think proper to be waited upon. --‘Bid the fellow wait,’ cried our
guest, ‘till I shall have leisure to receive him;’ and then turning to
my son, ‘I again find, Sir,’ proceeded he, ‘that you are guilty of the
same offence for which you once had my reproof, and for which the law
is now preparing its justest punishments. You imagine, perhaps, that a
contempt for your own life, gives you a right to take that of another:
but where, Sir, is the difference between a duelist who hazards a life
of no value, and the murderer who acts with greater security? Is it any
diminution of the gamester’s fraud when he alledges that he has staked a
counter? ’

‘Alas, Sir,’ cried I, ‘whoever you are, pity the poor misguided
creature; for what he has done was in obedience to a deluded mother, who
in the bitterness of her resentment required him upon her blessing
to avenge her quarrel. Here, Sir, is the letter, which will serve to
convince you of her imprudence and diminish his guilt. ’

He took the letter, and hastily read it over. ‘This,’ says he, ‘though
not a perfect excuse, is such a palliation of his fault, as induces me
to forgive him. And now, Sir,’ continued he, kindly taking my son by
the hand, ‘I see you are surprised at finding me here; but I have often
visited prisons upon occasions less interesting. I am now come to see
justice done a worthy man, for whom I have the most sincere esteem. I
have long been a disguised spectator of thy father’s benevolence. I have
at his little dwelling enjoyed respect uncontaminated by flattery,
and have received that happiness that courts could not give, from the
amusing simplicity around his fire-side. My nephew has been apprized
of my intentions of coming here, and I find is arrived; it would be
wronging him and you to condemn him without examination: if there be
injury, there shall be redress; and this I may say without boasting,
that none have ever taxed the injustice of Sir William Thornhill. ’

We now found the personage whom we had so long entertained as an
harmless amusing companion was no other than the celebrated Sir William
Thornhill, to whose virtues and singularities scarce any were strangers.
The poor Mr Burchell was in reality a man of large fortune and great
interest, to whom senates listened with applause, and whom party heard
with conviction; who was the friend of his country, but loyal to his
king. My poor wife recollecting her former familiarity, seemed to shrink
with apprehension; but Sophia, who a few moments before thought him
her own, now perceiving the immense distance to which he was removed by
fortune, was unable to conceal her tears.

‘Ah, Sir,’ cried my wife, with a piteous aspect, ‘how is it possible
that I can ever have your forgiveness; the slights you received from me
the last time I had the honour of seeing you at our house, and the jokes
which I audaciously threw out, these jokes, Sir, I fear can never be
forgiven. ’

‘My dear good lady,’ returned he with a smile, ‘if you had your joke, I
had my answer: I’ll leave it to all the company if mine were not as
good as yours. To say the truth, I know no body whom I am disposed to
be angry with at present but the fellow who so frighted my little
girl here. I had not even time to examine the rascal’s person so as
to describe him in an advertisement. Can you tell me, Sophia, my dear,
whether you should know him again? ’

‘Indeed, Sir,’ replied she, ‘I can’t be positive; yet now I recollect
he had a large mark over one of his eye-brows. ’ ‘I ask pardon, madam,’
interrupted Jenkinson, who was by, ‘but be so good as to inform me
if the fellow wore his own red hair? ’--‘Yes, I think so,’ cried
Sophia. --‘And did your honour,’ continued he, turning to Sir William,
‘observe the length of his legs? ’--‘I can’t be sure of their length,’
cried the Baronet, ‘but I am convinced of their swiftness; for he
out-ran me, which is what I thought few men in the kingdom could have
done. ’--‘Please your honour,’ cried Jenkinson, ‘I know the man: it is
certainly the same; the best runner in England; he has beaten Pinwire
of Newcastle, Timothy Baxter is his name, I know him perfectly, and the
very place of his retreat this moment. If your honour will bid Mr Gaoler
let two of his men go with me, I’ll engage to produce him to you in
an hour at farthest. ’ Upon this the gaoler was called, who instantly
appearing, Sir William demanded if he knew him. ‘Yes, please your
honour,’ reply’d the gaoler, ‘I know Sir William Thornhill well, and
every body that knows any thing of him, will desire to know more of
him. ’--‘Well then,’ said the Baronet, ‘my request is, that you will
permit this man and two of your servants to go upon a message by my
authority, and as I am in the commission of the peace, I undertake to
secure you. ’--‘Your promise is sufficient,’ replied the other, ‘and you
may at a minute’s warning send them over England whenever your honour
thinks fit. ’

In pursuance of the gaoler’s compliance, Jenkinson was dispatched in
search of Timothy Baxter, while we were amused with the assiduity of our
youngest boy Bill, who had just come in and climbed up to Sir William’s
neck in order to kiss him. His mother was immediately going to chastise
his familiarity, but the worthy man prevented her; and taking the child,
all ragged as he was, upon his knee, ‘What, Bill, you chubby rogue,’
cried he, ‘do you remember your old friend Burchell; and Dick too, my
honest veteran, are you here, you shall find I have not forgot you. ’
So saying, he gave each a large piece of gingerbread, which the poor
fellows eat very heartily, as they had got that morning but a very
scanty breakfast.

We now sate down to dinner, which was almost cold; but previously, my
arm still continuing painful, Sir William wrote a prescription, for he
had made the study of physic his amusement, and was more than moderately
skilled in the profession: this being sent to an apothecary who lived in
the place, my arm was dressed, and I found almost instantaneous relief.
We were waited upon at dinner by the gaoler himself, who was willing to
do our guest all the honour in his power. But before we had well dined,
another message was brought from his nephew, desiring permission to
appear, in order to vindicate his innocence and honour, with which
request the Baronet complied, and desired Mr Thornhill to be introduced.



CHAPTER 31

Former benevolence now repaid with unexpected interest


Mr Thornhill made his entrance with a smile, which he seldom wanted, and
was going to embrace his uncle, which the other repulsed with an air of
disdain. ‘No fawning, Sir, at present,’ cried the Baronet, with a look
of severity, ‘the only way to my heart is by the road of honour; but
here I only see complicated instances of falsehood, cowardice, and
oppression. How is it, Sir, that this poor man, for whom I know you
professed a friendship, is used thus hardly? His daughter vilely
seduced, as a recompence for his hospitality, and he himself thrown into
a prison perhaps but for resenting the insult? His son too, whom you
feared to face as a man--’

‘Is it possible, Sir,’ interrupted his nephew, ‘that my uncle could
object that as a crime which his repeated instructions alone have
persuaded me to avoid. ’

‘Your rebuke,’ cried Sir William, ‘is just; you have acted in this
instance prudently and well, though not quite as your father would have
done: my brother indeed was the soul of honour; but thou--yes you
have acted in this instance perfectly right, and it has my warmest
approbation. ’

‘And I hope,’ said his nephew, ‘that the rest of my conduct will not
be found to deserve censure. I appeared, Sir, with this gentleman’s
daughter at some places of public amusement; thus what was levity,
scandal called by a harsher name, and it was reported that I had
debauched her. I waited on her father in person, willing to clear the
thing to his satisfaction, and he received me only with insult and
abuse. As for the rest, with regard to his being here, my attorney
and steward can best inform you, as I commit the management of business
entirely to them. If he has contracted debts and is unwilling or even
unable to pay them, it is their business to proceed in this manner,
and I see no hardship or injustice in pursuing the most legal means of
redress. ’

‘If this,’ cried Sir William, ‘be as you have stated it, there is
nothing unpardonable in your offence, and though your conduct might have
been more generous in not suffering this gentleman to be oppressed by
subordinate tyranny, yet it has been at least equitable. ’

‘He cannot contradict a single particular,’ replied the ‘Squire, ‘I defy
him to do so, and several of my servants are ready to attest what I say.
Thus, Sir,’ continued he, finding that I was silent, for in fact I could
not contradict him, ‘thus, Sir, my own innocence is vindicated; but
though at your entreaty I am ready to forgive this gentleman every
other offence, yet his attempts to lessen me in your esteem, excite a
resentment that I cannot govern. And this too at a time when his son was
actually preparing to take away my life; this, I say, was such guilt,
that I am determined to let the law take its course. I have here the
challenge that was sent me and two witnesses to prove it; one of my
servants has been wounded dangerously, and even though my uncle himself
should dissuade me, which I know he will not, yet I will see public
justice done, and he shall suffer for it. ’

‘Thou monster,’ cried my wife, ‘hast thou not had vengeance enough
already, but must my poor boy feel thy cruelty. I hope that good Sir
William will protect us, for my son is as innocent as a child; I am sure
he is, and never did harm to man. ’

‘Madam,’ replied the good man, ‘your wishes for his safety are not
greater than mine; but I am sorry to find his guilt too plain; and if my
nephew persists--’ But the appearance of Jenkinson and the gaoler’s two
servants now called off our attention, who entered, haling in a tall
man, very genteelly drest, and answering the description already given
of the ruffian who had carried off my daughter--‘Here,’ cried Jenkinson,
pulling him in, ‘here we have him, and if ever there was a candidate for
Tyburn, this is one. ’

The moment Mr Thornhill perceived the prisoner, and Jenkinson, who had
him in custody, he seemed to shrink back with terror. His face became
pale with conscious guilt, and he would have withdrawn; but Jenkinson,
who perceived his design, stopt him--‘What, ‘Squire,’ cried he, ‘are you
ashamed of your two old acquaintances, Jenkinson and Baxter: but this is
the way that all great men forget their friends, though I am resolved
we will not forget you. Our prisoner, please your honour,’ continued
he, turning to Sir William, ‘has already confessed all. This is the
gentleman reported to be so dangerously wounded: He declares that it was
Mr Thornhill who first put him upon this affair, that he gave him the
cloaths he now wears to appear like a gentleman, and furnished him with
the post-chaise. The plan was laid between them that he should carry off
the young lady to a place of safety, and that there he should threaten
and terrify her; but Mr Thornhill was to come in in the mean time, as if
by accident, to her rescue, and that they should fight awhile and
then he was to run off, by which Mr Thornhill would have the better
opportunity of gaining her affections himself under the character of her
defender. ’

Sir William remembered the coat to have been frequently worn by his
nephew, and all the rest the prisoner himself confirmed by a more
circumstantial account; concluding, that Mr Thornhill had often declared
to him that he was in love with both sisters at the same time.

‘Heavens,’ cried Sir William, ‘what a viper have I been fostering in
my bosom! And so fond of public justice too as he seemed to be. But
he shall have it; secure him, Mr Gaoler--yet hold, I fear there is not
legal evidence to detain him. ’

Upon this, Mr Thornhill, with the utmost humility, entreated that two
such abandoned wretches might not be admitted as evidences against him,
but that his servants should be examined. --‘Your servants’ replied Sir
William, ‘wretch, call them yours no longer: but come let us hear what
those fellows have to say, let his butler be called. ’

When the butler was introduced, he soon perceived by his former master’s
looks that all his power was now over. ‘Tell me,’ cried Sir William
sternly, ‘have you ever seen your master and that fellow drest up in
his cloaths in company together? ’ ‘Yes, please your honour,’ cried the
butler, ‘a thousand times: he was the man that always brought him
his ladies. ’--‘How,’ interrupted young Mr Thornhill, ‘this to my
face! ’--‘Yes,’ replied the butler, ‘or to any man’s face. To tell you
a truth, Master Thornhill, I never either loved you or liked you, and
I don’t care if I tell you now a piece of my mind. ’--‘Now then,’ cried
Jenkinson, ‘tell his honour whether you know any thing of me. ’--‘I can’t
say,’ replied the butler, ‘that I know much good of you. The night
that gentleman’s daughter was deluded to our house, you were one of
them. ’--‘So then,’ cried Sir William, ‘I find you have brought a
very fine witness to prove your innocence: thou stain to humanity! to
associate with such wretches! ’ (But continuing his examination) ‘You
tell me, Mr Butler, that this was the person who brought him this old
gentleman’s daughter. ’--‘No, please your honour,’ replied the butler,
‘he did not bring her, for the ‘Squire himself undertook that business;
but he brought the priest that pretended to marry them. ’--‘It is but
too true,’ cried Jenkinson, ‘I cannot deny it, that was the employment
assigned me, and I confess it to my confusion. ’

‘Good heavens! ’ exclaimed the Baronet, ‘how every new discovery of
his villainy alarms me. All his guilt is now too plain, and I find his
present prosecution was dictated by tyranny, cowardice and revenge; at
my request, Mr Gaoler, set this young officer, now your prisoner, free,
and trust to me for the consequences. I’ll make it my business to
set the affair in a proper light to my friend the magistrate who has
committed him. But where is the unfortunate young lady herself: let
her appear to confront this wretch, I long to know by what arts he has
seduced her. Entreat her to come in. Where is she? ’

‘Ah, Sir,’ said I, ‘that question stings me to the heart: I was once
indeed happy in a daughter, but her miseries--’ Another interruption
here prevented me; for who should make her appearance but Miss Arabella
Wilmot, who was next day to have been married to Mr Thornhill. Nothing
could equal her surprize at seeing Sir William and his nephew here
before her; for her arrival was quite accidental. It happened that she
and the old gentleman her father were passing through the town, on their
way to her aunt’s, who had insisted that her nuptials with Mr Thornhill
should be consummated at her house; but stopping for refreshment, they
put up at an inn at the other end of the town. It was there from the
window that the young lady happened to observe one of my little boys
playing in the street, and instantly sending a footman to bring the
child to her, she learnt from him some account of our misfortunes; but
was still kept ignorant of young Mr Thornhill’s being the cause. Though
her father made several remonstrances on the impropriety of going to a
prison to visit us, yet they were ineffectual; she desired the child
to conduct her, which he did, and it was thus she surprised us at a
juncture so unexpected.

Nor can I go on, without a reflection on those accidental meetings,
which, though they happen every day, seldom excite our surprize but upon
some extraordinary occasion. To what a fortuitous concurrence do we
not owe every pleasure and convenience of our lives. How many seeming
accidents must unite before we can be cloathed or fed. The peasant
must be disposed to labour, the shower must fall, the wind fill the
merchant’s sail, or numbers must want the usual supply.

We all continued silent for some moments, while my charming pupil,
which was the name I generally gave this young lady, united in her looks
compassion and astonishment, which gave new finishings to her beauty.
‘Indeed, my dear Mr Thornhill,’ cried she to the ‘Squire, who she
supposed was come here to succour and not to oppress us, ‘I take it a
little unkindly that you should come here without me, or never inform me
of the situation of a family so dear to us both: you know I should take
as much pleasure in contributing to the relief of my reverend old master
here, whom I shall ever esteem, as you can. But I find that, like your
uncle, you take a pleasure in doing good in secret. ’

‘He find pleasure in doing good! ’ cried Sir William, interrupting her.
‘No, my dear, his pleasures are as base as he is. You see in him, madam,
as complete a villain as ever disgraced humanity. A wretch, who after
having deluded this poor man’s daughter, after plotting against the
innocence of her sister, has thrown the father into prison, and the
eldest son into fetters, because he had courage to face his betrayer.
And give me leave, madam, now to congratulate you upon an escape from
the embraces of such a monster. ’

‘O goodness,’ cried the lovely girl, ‘how have I been deceived! Mr
Thornhill informed me for certain that this gentleman’s eldest son,
Captain Primrose, was gone off to America with his new married lady. ’

‘My sweetest miss,’ cried my wife, ‘he has told you nothing but
falsehoods. My son George never left the kingdom, nor was married. Tho’
you have forsaken him, he has always loved you too well to think of any
body else; and I have heard him say he would die a batchellor for your
sake. ’ She then proceeded to expatiate upon the sincerity of her son’s
passion, she set his duel with Mr Thornhill in a proper light, from
thence she made a rapid digression to the ‘Squire’s debaucheries, his
pretended marriages, and ended with a most insulting picture of his
cowardice.

‘Good heavens! ’ cried Miss Wilmot, ‘how very near have I been to the
brink of ruin! But how great is my pleasure to have escaped it! Ten
thousand falsehoods has this gentleman told me! He had at last art
enough to persuade me that my promise to the only man I esteemed was no
longer binding, since he had been unfaithful. By his falsehoods I was
taught to detest one equally brave and generous! ’

But by this time my son was freed from the encumbrances of justice as
the person supposed to be wounded was detected to be an impostor. Mr
Jenkinson also, who had acted as his valet de chambre, had dressed
up his hair, and furnished him with whatever was necessary to make a
genteel appearance. He now therefore entered, handsomely drest in his
regimentals, and, without vanity, (for I am above it) he appeared as
handsome a fellow as ever wore a military dress. As he entered, he made
Miss Wilmot a modest and distant bow, for he was not as yet acquainted
with the change which the eloquence of his mother had wrought in his
favour. But no decorums could restrain the impatience of his blushing
mistress to be forgiven.
Her tears, her looks, all contributed to
discover the real sensations of her heart for having forgotten her
former promise and having suffered herself to be deluded by an impostor.
My son appeared amazed at her condescension, and could scarce believe it
real. --‘Sure, madam,’ cried he, ‘this is but delusion! I can never have
merited this! To be, blest thus is to be too happy. ’--‘No, Sir,’ replied
she, ‘I have been deceived, basely deceived, else nothing could have
ever made me unjust to my promise. You know my friendship, you have long
known it; but forget what I have done, and as you once had my warmest
vows of constancy, you shall now have them repeated; and be assured that
if your Arabella cannot be yours, she shall never be another’s. ’--‘And
no other’s you shall be,’ cried Sir William, ‘if I have any influence
with your father. ’

This hint was sufficient for my son Moses, who immediately flew to the
inn where the old gentleman was, to inform him of every circumstance
that had happened. But in the mean time the ‘Squire perceiving that
he was on every side undone, now finding that no hopes were left from
flattery or dissimulation, concluded that his wisest way would be to
turn and face his pursuers. Thus laying aside all shame, he appeared
the open hardy villain. ‘I find then,’ cried he, ‘that I am to expect
no justice here; but I am resolved it shall be done me. You shall know,
Sir,’ turning to Sir William, ‘I am no longer a poor dependent upon your
favours. I scorn them. Nothing can keep Miss Wilmot’s fortune from me,
which, I thank her father’s assiduity, is pretty large. The articles,
and a bond for her fortune, are signed, and safe in my possession. It
was her fortune, not her person, that induced me to wish for this match,
and possessed of the one, let who will take the other. ’

This was an alarming blow, Sir William was sensible of the justice of
his claims, for he had been instrumental in drawing up the marriage
articles himself. Miss Wilmot therefore perceiving that her fortune was
irretrievably lost, turning to my son, she asked if the loss of fortune
could lessen her value to him. ‘Though fortune,’ said she, ‘is out of my
power, at least I have my hand to give. ’

‘And that, madam,’ cried her real lover, ‘was indeed all that you ever
had to give; at least all that I ever thought worth the acceptance. And
now I protest, my Arabella, by all that’s happy, your want of fortune
this moment encreases my pleasure, as it serves to convince my sweet
girl of my sincerity. ’

Mr Wilmot now entering, he seemed not a little pleased at the danger his
daughter had just escaped, and readily consented to a dissolution of the
match. But finding that her fortune, which was secured to Mr Thornhill
by bond, would not be given up, nothing could exceed his disappointment.
He now saw that his money must all go to enrich one who had no fortune
of his own. He could bear his being a rascal; but to want an equivalent
to his daughter’s fortune was wormwood. He sate therefore for some
minutes employed in the most mortifying speculations, till Sir William
attempted to lessen his anxiety. --‘I must confess, Sir’ cried he,
‘that your present disappointment does not entirely displease me. Your
immoderate passion for wealth is now justly punished. But tho’ the
young lady cannot be rich, she has still a competence sufficient to give
content. Here you see an honest young soldier, who is willing to take
her without fortune; they have long loved each other, and for the
friendship I bear his father, my interest shall not be wanting in his
promotion. Leave then that ambition which disappoints you, and for once
admit that happiness which courts your acceptance. ’

‘Sir William,’ replied the old gentleman, ‘be assured I never yet forced
her inclinations, nor will I now. If she still continues to love this
young gentleman, let her have him with all my heart. There is still,
thank heaven, some fortune left, and your promise will make it something
more. Only let my old friend here (meaning me) give me a promise of
settling six thousand pounds upon my girl, if ever he should come to
his fortune, and I am ready this night to be the first to join them
together. ’

As it now remained with me to make the young couple happy, I readily
gave a promise of making the settlement he required, which, to one
who had such little expectations as I, was no great favour. We had now
therefore the satisfaction of seeing them fly into each other’s arms
in a transport. ‘After all my misfortunes,’ cried my son George, ‘to be
thus rewarded! Sure this is more than I could ever have presumed to hope
for. To be possessed of all that’s good, and after such an interval of
pain! My warmest wishes could never rise so high! ’--‘Yes, my George,’
returned his lovely bride, ‘now let the wretch take my fortune; since
you are happy without it so am I. O what an exchange have I made from
the basest of men to the dearest best! --Let him enjoy our fortune, I
now can be happy even in indigence. ’--‘And I promise you,’ cried the
‘Squire, with a malicious grin, ‘that I shall be very happy with what
you despise. ’--‘Hold, hold, Sir,’ cried Jenkinson, ‘there are two words
to that bargain. As for that lady’s fortune, Sir, you shall never touch
a single stiver of it. Pray your honour,’ continued he to Sir
William, ‘can the ‘Squire have this lady’s fortune if he be married to
another? ’--‘How can you make such a simple demand,’ replied the Baronet,
‘undoubtedly he cannot. ’--‘I am sorry for that,’ cried Jenkinson;
‘for as this gentleman and I have been old fellow spotters, I have a
friendship for him. But I must declare, well as I love him, that
his contract is not worth a tobacco stopper, for he is married
already. ’--‘You lie, like a rascal,’ returned the ‘Squire, who
seemed rouzed by this insult, ‘I never was legally married to any
woman. ’--‘Indeed, begging your honour’s pardon,’ replied the other, ‘you
were; and I hope you will shew a proper return of friendship to your own
honest Jenkinson, who brings you a wife, and if the company restrains
their curiosity a few minutes, they shall see her. ’--So saying he went
off with his usual celerity, and left us all unable to form any probable
conjecture as to his design. --‘Ay let him go,’ cried the ‘Squire,
‘whatever else I may have done I defy him there. I am too old now to be
frightened with squibs. ’

‘I am surprised,’ said the Baronet, ‘what the fellow can intend by this.
Some low piece of humour I suppose! ’--‘Perhaps, Sir,’ replied I, ‘he may
have a more serious meaning. For when we reflect on the various schemes
this gentleman has laid to seduce innocence, perhaps some one more
artful than the rest has been found able to deceive him. When we
consider what numbers he has ruined, how many parents now feel with
anguish the infamy and the contamination which he has brought into their
families, it would not surprise me if some one of them--Amazement! Do I
see my lost daughter! Do I hold her! It is, it is my life, my happiness.
I thought thee lost, my Olivia, yet still I hold thee--and still thou
shalt live to bless me. ’--The warmest transports of the fondest lover
were not greater than mine when I saw him introduce my child, and held
my daughter in my arms, whose silence only spoke her raptures. ‘And
art thou returned to me, my darling,’ cried I, ‘to be my comfort in
age! ’--‘That she is,’ cried Jenkinson, ‘and make much of her, for she
is your own honourable child, and as honest a woman as any in the whole
room, let the other be who she will. And as for you ‘Squire, as sure
as you stand there this young lady is your lawful wedded wife. And to
convince you that I speak nothing but truth, here is the licence by
which you were married together. ’--So saying, he put the licence into
the Baronet’s hands, who read it, and found it perfect in every respect.
‘And now, gentlemen,’ continued he, I find you are surprised at all
this; but a few words will explain the difficulty. That there ‘Squire
of renown, for whom I have a great friendship, but that’s between
ourselves, as often employed me in doing odd little things for him.
Among the rest, he commissioned me to procure him a false licence and
a false priest, in order to deceive this young lady. But as I was very
much his friend, what did I do but went and got a true licence and a
true priest, and married them both as fast as the cloth could make them.
Perhaps you’ll think it was generosity that made me do all this. But no.
To my shame I confess it, my only design was to keep the licence and
let the ‘Squire know that I could prove it upon him whenever I thought
proper, and so make him come down whenever I wanted money. ’ A burst of
pleasure now seemed to fill the whole apartment; our joy reached even to
the common room, where the prisoners themselves sympathized,

--And shook their chains
In transport and rude harmony.

Happiness was expanded upon every face, and even Olivia’s cheek seemed
flushed with pleasure. To be thus restored to reputation, to friends and
fortune at once, was a rapture sufficient to stop the progress of decay
and restore former health and vivacity. But perhaps among all there was
not one who felt sincerer pleasure than I. Still holding the dear-loved
child in my arms, I asked my heart if these transports were not
delusion. ‘How could you,’ cried I, turning to Mr Jenkinson, ‘how could
you add to my miseries by the story of her death! But it matters not, my
pleasure at finding her again, is more than a recompence for the pain. ’

‘As to your question,’ replied Jenkinson, ‘that is easily answered.
I thought the only probable means of freeing you from prison, was by
submitting to the ‘Squire, and consenting to his marriage with the other
young lady. But these you had vowed never to grant while your daughter
was living, there was therefore no other method to bring things to bear
but by persuading you that she was dead. I prevailed on your wife to
join in the deceit, and we have not had a fit opportunity of undeceiving
you till now. ’

In the whole assembly now there only appeared two faces that did not
glow with transport. Mr Thornhill’s assurance had entirely forsaken him:
he now saw the gulph of infamy and want before him, and trembled to take
the plunge. He therefore fell on his knees before his uncle, and in a
voice of piercing misery implored compassion. Sir William was going to
spurn him away, but at my request he raised him, and after pausing a
few moments, ‘Thy vices, crimes, and ingratitude,’ cried he, ‘deserve no
tenderness; yet thou shalt not be entirely forsaken, a bare competence
shall be supplied, to support the wants of life, but not its follies.
This young lady, thy wife, shall be put in possession of a third part
of that fortune which once was thine, and from her tenderness alone thou
art to expect any extraordinary supplies for the future. ’ He was going
to express his gratitude for such kindness in a set speech; but the
Baronet prevented him by bidding him not aggravate his meanness, which
was already but too apparent. He ordered him at the same time to be
gone, and from all his former domestics to chuse one such as he should
think proper, which was all that should be granted to attend him.

As soon as he left us, Sir William very politely stept up to his new
niece with a smile, and wished her joy. His example was followed by
Miss Wilmot and her father; my wife too kissed her daughter with much
affection, as, to use her own expression, she was now made an honest
woman of. Sophia and Moses followed in turn, and even our benefactor
Jenkinson desired to be admitted to that honour. Our satisfaction seemed
scarce capable of increase. Sir William, whose greatest pleasure was in
doing good, now looked round with a countenance open as the sun, and saw
nothing but joy in the looks of all except that of my daughter Sophia,
who, for some reasons we could not comprehend, did not seem perfectly
satisfied. ‘I think now,’ cried he, with a smile, ‘that all the company,
except one or two, seem perfectly happy. There only remains an act of
justice for me to do. You are sensible, Sir,’ continued he, turning to
me, ‘of the obligations we both owe Mr Jenkinson. And it is but just
we should both reward him for it. Miss Sophia will, I am sure, make
him very happy, and he shall have from me five hundred pounds as
her fortune, and upon this I am sure they can live very comfortably
together. Come, Miss Sophia, what say you to this match of my making?
Will you have him? ’--My poor girl seemed almost sinking into her
mother’s arms at the hideous proposal. --‘Have him, Sir! ’ cried she
faintly. ‘No, Sir, never. ’--‘What,’ cried he again, ‘not have Mr
Jenkinson, your benefactor, a handsome young fellow, with five hundred
pounds and good expectations! ’--‘I beg, Sir,’ returned she, scarce able
to speak, ‘that you’ll desist, and not make me so very wretched. ’--‘Was
ever such obstinacy known,’ cried he again, ‘to refuse a man whom the
family has such infinite obligations to, who has preserved your sister,
and who has five hundred pounds! What not have him! ’--‘No, Sir, never,’
replied she, angrily, ‘I’d sooner die first. ’--‘If that be the case
then,’ cried he, ‘if you will not have him--I think I must have you
myself. ’ And so saying, he caught her to his breast with ardour. ‘My
loveliest, my most sensible of girls,’ cried he, ‘how could you ever
think your own Burchell could deceive you, or that Sir William Thornhill
could ever cease to admire a mistress that loved him for himself alone?
I have for some years sought for a woman, who a stranger to my fortune
could think that I had merit as a man. After having tried in vain, even
amongst the pert and the ugly, how great at last must be my rapture to
have made a conquest over such sense and such heavenly beauty. ’ Then
turning to Jenkinson, ‘As I cannot, Sir, part with this young lady
myself, for she has taken a fancy to the cut of my face, all the
recompence I can make is to give you her fortune, and you may call
upon my steward to-morrow for five hundred pounds. ’ Thus we had all our
compliments to repeat, and Lady Thornhill underwent the same round of
ceremony that her sister had done before. In the mean time Sir William’s
gentleman appeared to tell us that the equipages were ready to carry us
to the inn, where every thing was prepared for our reception. My
wife and I led the van, and left those gloomy mansions of sorrow.
The generous Baronet ordered forty pounds to be distributed among the
prisoners, and Mr Wilmot, induced by his example, gave half that sum. We
were received below by the shouts of the villagers, and I saw and shook
by the hand two or three of my honest parishioners, who were among the
number. They attended us to our inn, where a sumptuous entertainment was
provided, and coarser provisions distributed in great quantities among
the populace.

After supper, as my spirits were exhausted by the alternation of
pleasure and pain which they had sustained during the day, I asked
permission to withdraw, and leaving the company in the midst of their
mirth, as soon as I found myself alone, I poured out my heart in
gratitude to the giver of joy as well as of sorrow, and then slept
undisturbed till morning.



CHAPTER 32.

The Conclusion


The next morning as soon as I awaked I found my eldest son sitting by my
bedside, who came to encrease my joy with another turn of fortune in my
favour. First having released me from the settlement that I had made the
day before in his favour, he let me know that my merchant who had failed
in town was arrested at Antwerp, and there had given up effects to
a much greater amount than what was due to his creditors. My boy’s
generosity pleased me almost as much as this unlooked for good fortune.
But I had some doubts whether I ought in justice to accept his offer.
While I was pondering upon this, Sir William entered the room, to whom
I communicated my doubts. His opinion was, that as my son was already
possessed of a very affluent fortune by his marriage, I might accept his
offer without any hesitation. His business, however, was to inform me
that as he had the night before sent for the licences, and expected them
every hour, he hoped that I would not refuse my assistance in making
all the company happy that morning. A footman entered while we were
speaking, to tell us that the messenger was returned, and as I was by
this time ready, I went down, where I found the whole company as merry
as affluence and innocence could make them. However, as they were now
preparing for a very solemn ceremony, their laughter entirely displeased
me. I told them of the grave, becoming and sublime deportment they
should assume upon this Mystical occasion, and read them two homilies
and a thesis of my own composing, in order to prepare them. Yet they
still seemed perfectly refractory and ungovernable. Even as we were
going along to church, to which I led the way, all gravity had quite
forsaken them, and I was often tempted to turn back in indignation. In
church a new dilemma arose, which promised no easy solution. This was,
which couple should be married first; my son’s bride warmly insisted,
that Lady Thornhill, (that was to be) should take the lead; but this the
other refused with equal ardour, protesting she would not be guilty of
such rudeness for the world. The argument was supported for some time
between both with equal obstinacy and good breeding. But as I stood all
this time with my book ready, I was at last quite tired of the contest,
and shutting it, ‘I perceive,’ cried I, ‘that none of you have a mind
to be married, and I think we had as good go back again; for I suppose
there will be no business done here to-day. ’--This at once reduced them
to reason. The Baronet and his Lady were first married, and then my son
and his lovely partner.

I had previously that morning given orders that a coach should be sent
for my honest neighbour Flamborough and his family, by which means,
upon our return to the inn, we had the pleasure of finding the two
Miss Flamboroughs alighted before us. Mr Jenkinson gave his hand to the
eldest, and my son Moses led up the other; (and I have since found that
he has taken a real liking to the girl, and my consent and bounty he
shall have whenever he thinks proper to demand them. ) We were no sooner
returned to the inn, but numbers of my parishioners, hearing of my
success, came to congratulate me, but among the rest were those who rose
to rescue me, and whom I formerly rebuked with such sharpness. I told
the story to Sir William, my son-in-law, who went out and reprove them
with great severity; but finding them quite disheartened by his harsh
reproof, he gave them half a guinea a piece to drink his health and
raise their dejected spirits.

Soon after this we were called to a very genteel entertainment, which
was drest by Mr Thornhill’s cook. And it may not be improper to observe
with respect to that gentleman, that he now resides in quality of
companion at a relation’s house, being very well liked and seldom
sitting at the side-table, except when there is no room at the other;
for they make no stranger of him. His time is pretty much taken up in
keeping his relation, who is a little melancholy, in spirits, and in
learning to blow the French-horn. My eldest daughter, however, still
remembers him with regret; and she has even told me, though I make a
great secret of it, that when he reforms she may be brought to relent.
But to return, for I am not apt to digress thus, when we were to sit
down to dinner our ceremonies were going to be renewed. The question was
whether my eldest daughter, as being a matron, should not sit above the
two young brides, but the debate was cut short by my son George, who
proposed, that the company should sit indiscriminately, every gentleman
by his lady. This was received with great approbation by all, excepting
my wife, who I could perceive was not perfectly satisfied, as she
expected to have had the pleasure of sitting at the head of the table
and carving all the meat for all the company. But notwithstanding this,
it is impossible to describe our good humour. I can’t say whether we
had more wit amongst us now than usual; but I am certain we had more
laughing, which answered the end as well. One jest I particularly
remember, old Mr Wilmot drinking to Moses, whose head was turned another
way, my son replied, ‘Madam, I thank you. ’ Upon which the old gentleman,
winking upon the rest of the company, observed that he was thinking of
his mistress. At which jest I thought the two miss Flamboroughs would
have died with laughing. As soon as dinner was over, according to my
old custom, I requested that the table might be taken away, to have
the pleasure of seeing all my family assembled once more by a chearful
fireside. My two little ones sat upon each knee, the rest of the company
by their partners. I had nothing now on this side of the grave to wish
for, all my cares were over, my pleasure was unspeakable. It now only
remained that my gratitude in good fortune should exceed my former
submission in adversity.






The MAD DOG

ONE OF R. CALDECOTT'S PICTURE BOOKS

Frederick Warne and Co. Ltd.

[Illustration]




An ELEGY
on the DEATH of
a MAD DOG.

WRITTEN
By
Dr GOLDSMITH

PICTURED
By
R. CALDECOTT

SUNG
By
Master BILL PRIMROSE


[Illustration]


Good people all, of every sort,
Give ear unto my song;
And if you find it wondrous short,
It cannot hold you long.

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


In Islington there lived a man,
Of whom the world might say,
That still a godly race he ran,
Whene'er he went to pray.

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


A kind and gentle heart he had,
To comfort friends and foes;
The naked every day he clad,
When he put on his clothes


[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


And in that town a dog was found:
As many dogs there be--
Both mongrel, puppy, whelp, and hound,
And curs of low degree.


[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


This dog and man at first were friends;
But, when a pique began,
The dog, to gain some private ends,
Went mad, and bit the man.

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


Around from all the neighbouring streets
The wondering neighbours ran;
And swore the dog had lost his wits,
To bite so good a man.

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


The wound it seem'd both sore and sad
To every christian eye;
And while they swore the dog was mad,
They swore the man would die

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]


But soon a wonder came to light,
That show'd the rogues they lied--
The man recover'd of the bite;
The dog it was that died.

[Illustration]
[Illustration]
[Illustration]

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3 The Babes in the Wood

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11 A Frog He Would a-Wooing Go

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