Once during the
depression
he had an affair with one girl for several years but did not want to get married because of financial cir- cumstances.
Adorno-T-Authoritarian-Personality-Harper-Bros-1950
She was a virgin.
"
M46 tells that "I have a peculiar characteristic which causes women to open up on short acquaintance and tell all about themselves. "
Mz8 states that, since the age of 14, he has been "woman crazy" and expressed many fantastic ideas of his sexual power. States that he proposed matrimony many times, but was always repulsed because he could not support the girls. This subject seems to believe in his "sexual power," and the fact that he has been rejected by all
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THE AUTHORITARIAN PERSONALITY
girls to whom he proposed marriage is completly rationalized on the grounds of his economic insufficiency.
Embarrassment about what is felt as an overly late first sex experience is shown in the record of Mu: (What was your first sex experience? ) "At the age of 17, I'm sorry to admit. I mean, it was so late. "
Fp, a high-scoring woman, remarks that she had always had "scads of boy friends. " When she was in the fourth grade there was a boy who used to carry her books home and they remained friends for many years. There was no kissing or any- thing of that kind. Her father had a farm in and the family spent their sum- mers there for many years. One summer when she was about 18 something very dramatic happened. One night a farmhand who had been interested in her came around to the front door and told her parents that he would shoot himself if she would not marry him. When asked how far their relationship had gone, she denied that there had even been any kissing; "he was only a farmhand. "
Our low-scoring interviewees, on the other hand, are mostly frank in their open admission without rationalizing, of whatever is thought to be an inadequacy or undue delay with respect to sexual attractiveness, develop- ment, or adjustment. The differences on the entire Category 22 are highly significant (at the 1 per cent level) in men and satisfactory (at the 5 per cent level) in women.
Examples from the records of low-scoring men are:
M 15, a low scorer, is a good example of the men who frankly admit lack of sexual experience without feeling the necessity to rationalize on moral or other grounds: Picked up all his knowledge from older boys. Remembers some sex play with neighborhood children, but denies active participation. Felt guilty, afraid gang's activities would be discovered.
M49 is frank about the sexual difficulties ill his marriage: "W e don't-we used to have quite a bit of difficulty, but we're getting along much better now . . . after this operation, I didn't have much desire . . . for about 6 months. . . . I feel now that we're not too close to the peak . . . but it's so much better now. "
M53 describes his earliest sex experience: "Oh, I think it was about 15 or 16. (Q) With a gal that was not very satisfactory. (Q) Someone I knew fairly well. " Subject indicates later that this was intercourse, although not very successful.
Mss: "Oh, about 14, though I wasn't very successful. . . . So clumsy, I don't know whether you'd call it experience, but imagine when I was about seventeen, in the back seat of an automobile. " (Other sex experiences before marriage? ) Subject men- tions several incidental relationships, none of which led to affairs. . . . "I think that probably contributed to my feeling of not being successful and not being able to . . . afraid of being clumsy. . . . "
M56 tells that he has "always been rather inhibited about sex. "
M59 admits that his girl left him for another man: "At r6 about a year and a half. I felt pretty bad about it when we split up. I got a job and she started going out with another man. "
Likewise frank are the low-scoring women in their admission of difficulties in adjusting to a feminine role, or of a lack of attraction for men.
Thus F62, asked about her boy friends, reports: "I am avoided by the male sex perhaps because I am too heavy. I only have speaking acquaintances with boys. When I meet boys I immediately try to be witty and clever and this is a great mis-
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 395
take. I never go on dates; sometimes I am glad of it because I have more time for reading-and sometimes I am sorry. "
F27 reports: (After you began to get acquainted with boys, were you at ease with them? ) "Not for a long time. At first I didn't even enjoy a date. I was so busy worry- ing if he would ask me for another. I can't say I ever did enjoy boys very much. It is just the idea that they are boys. I never got all thrilled like some girls do. I never cared a lot about anyone until I met my husband. "
F3o has no difficulties in admitting that she never had a date: "We became en- gaged without ever having a date. In fact, I never had dates. . . . W e often laugh now about the fact that we got engaged and knew we wanted to spend our lives together without ever having had a date. "
F63 tells about her difficulty in accepting the feminine role: "Can't make myself do anything. Never have been willing to accept my role as a woman. This is just one of a long series of depressions which have resulted from having my ambitions blocked. I really love my present husband, would like to get myself straightened out while he is at sea. If I don't I'll lose him too. "
Generally, one of the most outstanding characteristics of our low-scoring subjects is their ability to admit shortcomings in themselves (see Section C). The above quotations show clearly that low-scoring men can admit sexual insufficiency, "awkwardness," and "clumsiness" without further rationaliza- tion. Similarly the low-scoring women are ready to face their lack of success in this field as well as their difficulties in accepting a feminine role. Espe- cially in the last of the records there is clear indication of conflict between love for the husband and having one's "ambitions blocked" by marriage. At the same time, sex seems to be much more integrated with social rela- tions in unprejudiced individuals, and much more oriented toward specific persons.
3. MORALISTIC REJECTION OF INSTINCTUAL TENDENCIES
It appears, furthermore, that high scorers tend to manifest what may be called a moralistic rejection of the id (Category 2 3a). The restricted type of prejudiced person manifests, in the main, explicit anti-id moralism; the less restricted-but often not less inhibited-type of high scorer, to be found primarily in our prison sample, manifests the same tendency though often more indirectly, e. g. , by attachment to a frigid woman and often in context with promiscuity. If high-scoring subjects think of sex primarily in terms of success and failure, it is not surprising to find that they tend to reject the
purely erotic or sensual.
Our low scorers, on the other hand, tending in general to be less repressed,
seem to manifest more acceptance of the id. The results on the entire Cate- gory 2 3a show the expected trend without, however, reaching statistical sig- nificance. There are I 7 positive as contrasted with 8 negative instances in men, and a similar and slightly higher ratio in women.
Examples of high-scoring men who are attached to a frigid partner are: M4o: In the past year subject has been very much in love with a married woman.
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"She doesn't like her husband, but has a false loyalty to him because he is in the army, and makes herself miserable. I never met the man. I got fed up from her sheer stu- pidity! When I went East, I was to send her money to get her divorce and I wrote her daily and she never replied; and I came out to find out what had happened and she re-discovered her loyalty to him and she actually wouldn't let me touch her. He hurt her physically and she couldn't enjoy sex. She had a doctor treating her and she would say to me, 'I am only half a woman. ' All that was a part of it all. I was prepared to take care of everything and I had arranged to take care of her younger brother and sister. "
M4s: (What sort of person was she? ) "The type of person that you see a lot of. Wise and dumb, both. . . . Knows a lot about business, nothing about people. . . . She trusts everyone (subject gives an example) . . . . W e didn't get on too good sex- ually because she was kind of on the frigid line, but still in all I was in love with her and I still am. I'd like nothing better than to go back to her. . . . I don't think there's much chance of it though. . . . "
Msz: (Marriage? ) "She was r2 years older than me. (Q) She's a very literary person. W e did have a lot of things in common. She's cold as a clam sexually (Did you have intercourse with her? ) Yes, lots of times and I used especially . . . in the evening getting ready to go out. . . . "
Mp: "She tried very hard to make me happy. . . . The thing that eventually broke us up was (proximity of her parents). She could always run home. . . . Another drawback was the sexual relationship. . . . She was the type that didn't care much for it. . . . She never had any desire for it. "
Although rejection of the id, in the foregoing records of high-scoring men, is manifested mainly in the choice of, and attachment to, a frigid woman, it is interesting to note that some of the men at the same time show signs of crude and unsocialized sex impulses (see below). In these cases the inability to accept genuine sexuality leads to both a frequent change of the sex object without personal involvement, and involvement without sex.
Anti-id moralism is more clearly manifest in the statements of prejudiced women, who often have very definite ideas of what is to be considered as wrong. Examples from their interviews follow.
F22: "Sex isn't uppermost in my mind by any means. . . . I'm more for having a good time with the exclusion of sex interest. (Q) I've been shocked by the conduct of my girl friends. I didn't think they were that type. "
F;z: "I think a girl should be friendly, but I don't like necking in the back of a show. A boy and a girl should be just friends. "
Fu: "When at high school was first kissed. " Subject didn't like it. She was fright- ened.
F7z. ? (Proper? ) "I don't believe in parking-no matter what you're doing. I be- lieve in kissing. I've done my share of it, but I've never parked. . . . (A girl who did) I'd stick with, but wouldn't think much of her. . . . Mother says 'a boy admires a girl who admires herself. ' "
Low-scoring subjects, on the other hand, show more acceptance of sex in general, though not without evidence of conflict.
Acceptance of instinctual tendencies is shown in the following records of low-scoring subjects:
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 397
Ms6: (hnportance of sex in' marriage? ) "Very high. I was fortunate in being per- fectly mated to my wife, sexually, that is. "
Mss: (Sex adjustment with her? ) "Very well, took quite a long time, though. "
M16: Subject was in love several times-some of the times the girls were married or did not want to marry him.
Once during the depression he had an affair with one girl for several years but did not want to get married because of financial cir- cumstances. Subject married in _ _ after living with his present wife for several years. "We get along pretty well, never quarrel. (How did you get along sexually? ) Pretty well. "
4. "PURE" VS. "BAD" WOMEN
It is probably the predominance of surface adulation of, and underlying resentment against, the mother, found in high-scoring men, that leads to what is here called their dichotomous sex attitudes as defined by the separa- tion of sex and affect, or by the sharpness of the distinction between a "bad" and a "pure" woman. On the other hand, fusion of sex and affect, a tendency to more personalized sex relations, is found more often in low-scoring men
(Category 24). The difference is significant at the 1 per cent level as de- fined at the end of Chapter IX.
In our sample of women we find the same trend, but the difference is not statistically significant.
Examples of the dichotomous conception of "good" vs. "bad" women, taken from the records of high-scoring men, follow.
M s1: (Other relations with women? ) "Well, yes, three or four, all older than me and they weren't anything but physical. "
Mp: "She taught me something that stuck with me all my life, that a woman is the most perfect thing in the world, that is, the right kind of woman. "
M6: "I like a girl who is level-headed and can talk on several topics. I don't like the Maizie and Flo type or the sex boxes. Yes, I have been out with the latter, but you have to be careful. There's always the danger of disease. "
The records of the following two high scorers show the kind of charac- teristics these men value most in the girls they would like to marry:
M 14: (What about girls? ) "Well, there is nothing definite yet, though I have known a lot. I never have found one I'd like to marry. I want a girl whose sole inter- est is in the home. I think a woman's place should not be in the business world. So many women have lost the sense of home. . . . "
M2o: "They're (Indians) a reckless lot, careless about marriages and divorce. . . . (Q) Yes, I went through high school with one girl. . . . Very religious. Got with her around the church. . . . Never took each other very seriously, more or less, just accepted one another. " The subject left and when he returned, she had gotten mar- ried. "She was more or less what I was looking for. Very religious. . . . "
The conception of marriage as a rather external affair not involving com- mon interests, and also demonstrating conventional moralism, is given by the record of the following high scorer:
M41: (What was your wife like? ) "A nice person. A nurse, before I married her.
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(Q) Well, I liked her looks and manners. (In what ways were you most alike? ) Well, we weren't much alike in any way. We got along all right. . . . Her mother was Christian Science. (What about her? ) She was Christian Science. (Any chil- dren? ) No. (In what ways most different? ) \Vell, a little different in tastes about things. (Q) Most anything. I liked flowers and she didn't care much for flowers. (Main difficulties? ) I didn't have any. We got along good. I let her have her own way. Takes two to start an argument. (Have her way in what things? ) In most anything. Well, if we was going anywhere, if I went to buy a suit of clothes, I let her pick it out. If we wanted anything for the house, I let her pick it. (Childhood sex experiences? ) Well, I don't remember any. \Vhen I was a kid, such things weren't taught. . . . Such things weren't mentioned by parents or anyone else. If you met a girl on the street, you'd blush. . . . I don't think it's a very good subject to teach. They learn it soon enough. "
The lack of integration of sex and affection found in high-scoring men is likewise illustrated by some of these quotations. Quite commonly, in the girls they would like to marry, they require, above all, moral standards; often this is the only requirement. Frequently their marriages do not seem to be based on companionship or love. As far as their reports about premarital sexual relationships are concerned, they usually manifest contempt for the women involved. In both marriage and the more casual sex relationships there seems to be little concern with common interest and comradeship.
The difference in the attitude toward sexual relationships in high-scoring as compared with low-scoring men can perhaps best be exemplified by two records describing extramarital relationships. In both cases there is evidence of sexual and marital maladjustment. The differences, however, are charac- teristic of the two groups, respectively.
Ms8, a high-scoring man, reports: "And if you're not satisfied it might become uppermost in your mind, even above work, etc. . . . I believe I've seen where it is necessary for emotional stability, to relieve yourself regardless of marriage. (How do you mean? ) First thing you know you're looking around . . . find something some- where and relieve . . . then can go back and concentrate. . . . (What main difficulties have you found in your marriage? ) My wife and I have always been thoroughly compatible . . . (only trivial daily problems) . . . can't think of anything . . . only one particular thing: I got to chasing around with another woman (although my wife had nothing to do with it; there was no conflict with her) it was in me entirely alone. . . . "
Mzo, a low-scoring man: "We have not enjoyed our sexual relationships almost since the first day of our marriage. I don't want it, and we often go for months with- out coitus . . . is that the word? My wife always takes the initiative in our relation- ships; she is very passionate. So am I-I have had three affairs since my marriage. I am having one now and she knows it. "
The first of these men, a high scorer, talks about sex as though it were an ego-alien tension which has to be "relieved" for hygienic reasons. Thus, in the most intimate interpersonal relationships, he displays a utilitarian and
(pseudo-)realistic outlook. The depersonalized attitude in this subject is drastically expressed by referring to his sexual partner as "something," and
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 399
in the phrase "find something somewhere and relieve. " On the other hand, the low-scoring subject, in a somewhat evasive, unperceptive effort to integrate his extramarital relationships into his total life-pattern, exemplifies the inhibited and at the same time impulse-ridden maladjustment sometimes
found in those scoring low on ethnocentrism.
5. EGO-ALIEN AMBIV ALENCE VS. "FONDNESS"
The isolation of sex experience in the typical high scorers is connected with an ambivalent underlying disrespect for, and resentment against, the opposite sex, often hidden behind an externalized and excessive pseudoad- miration. Low scorers, on the other hand, manifest more often genuine respect and fondness for the opposite sex (Category 25). The difference is highly significant (1 per cent level) for men, and satisfactorily significant
(5 per cent level) for women.
An example of the "High" type of ambivalence toward women is the fol-
lowing statement:
M8z: "I don't think men respect women or anything about women, the way they ought to. . . . In other words, women aren't inferior to men. If anything, they are superior. After all, they are the hands that rock the cradle. " His admiration of women goes hand in hand with his conception of women as weak. Subject argues strongly at this point that restrictions should be removed on women, but still ex- presses his disapproval of women in business on the grounds that it would spoil the dependent (i. e. , the home type) woman's chances.
More open lack of appreciation is shown in the following description of his stepmother by a high scorer:
M4o: (What sort of person was your stepmother? ) "Pretty hard to describe, just another woman, I guess . . . nothing glaringly ou. tstanding. (In what ways was she like your father? ) She wasn't. (How different? ) In every way. She wasn't his equal in anything-intellectually. More matter of convenience than anything else. "
Undisguised contempt for girls is displayed by another high scorer:
M u : "But I can't stand being around a bunch of girls, a lot of senseless chatter. They are all the same. Sororities are the cliquiest and the snottiest. "
One of the high-scoring prison inmates blames his fate on his wife:
M57: "This last one I married was really a corker. . . . She just got her divorce. . . . I found out she was married all the time to another man. . . . She got me in here, I guess I got pussy-simple. "
Correspondingly, contempt for men is expressed in the following records of high-scoring women:
F24: "Of course, now if you pick a boy as a friend, right away they want to get juicy. You have to be careful about boys. "
F31: "I wouldn't want to be a factory worker, either. It's not very good to say now, when they need everybody that's working in factories, but I can't see a girl
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working in jeans and around grease and putting themselves on the same level with men. "
Low-scoring subjects, on the other hand, in seeking companionship with the opposite sex, more often manifest some measure of fondness. This at- titude, shown by the following protocols, tends to increase in longer and more intimate relationships, as indicated by the statement of M42 that "a successful marriage certainly leads to familiarity but not to contempt. "
The necessity of frankness in marriage is emphasized by Msg: "When I do meet the one girl for me, I shall explain all my past life to her, because I do not believe that happiness can be based on lies. " The frankness but also the compulsive feature in this statement are characteristic of the type of low scorer with neurotic features (see below).
Another low scorer shows love and respect for a woman in spite of the fact that the marriage did not work out:
Mso: " A t that time I was too self-centered t~ be in love with anyone. . . . I did admire and respect and like her . .
M46 tells that "I have a peculiar characteristic which causes women to open up on short acquaintance and tell all about themselves. "
Mz8 states that, since the age of 14, he has been "woman crazy" and expressed many fantastic ideas of his sexual power. States that he proposed matrimony many times, but was always repulsed because he could not support the girls. This subject seems to believe in his "sexual power," and the fact that he has been rejected by all
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THE AUTHORITARIAN PERSONALITY
girls to whom he proposed marriage is completly rationalized on the grounds of his economic insufficiency.
Embarrassment about what is felt as an overly late first sex experience is shown in the record of Mu: (What was your first sex experience? ) "At the age of 17, I'm sorry to admit. I mean, it was so late. "
Fp, a high-scoring woman, remarks that she had always had "scads of boy friends. " When she was in the fourth grade there was a boy who used to carry her books home and they remained friends for many years. There was no kissing or any- thing of that kind. Her father had a farm in and the family spent their sum- mers there for many years. One summer when she was about 18 something very dramatic happened. One night a farmhand who had been interested in her came around to the front door and told her parents that he would shoot himself if she would not marry him. When asked how far their relationship had gone, she denied that there had even been any kissing; "he was only a farmhand. "
Our low-scoring interviewees, on the other hand, are mostly frank in their open admission without rationalizing, of whatever is thought to be an inadequacy or undue delay with respect to sexual attractiveness, develop- ment, or adjustment. The differences on the entire Category 22 are highly significant (at the 1 per cent level) in men and satisfactory (at the 5 per cent level) in women.
Examples from the records of low-scoring men are:
M 15, a low scorer, is a good example of the men who frankly admit lack of sexual experience without feeling the necessity to rationalize on moral or other grounds: Picked up all his knowledge from older boys. Remembers some sex play with neighborhood children, but denies active participation. Felt guilty, afraid gang's activities would be discovered.
M49 is frank about the sexual difficulties ill his marriage: "W e don't-we used to have quite a bit of difficulty, but we're getting along much better now . . . after this operation, I didn't have much desire . . . for about 6 months. . . . I feel now that we're not too close to the peak . . . but it's so much better now. "
M53 describes his earliest sex experience: "Oh, I think it was about 15 or 16. (Q) With a gal that was not very satisfactory. (Q) Someone I knew fairly well. " Subject indicates later that this was intercourse, although not very successful.
Mss: "Oh, about 14, though I wasn't very successful. . . . So clumsy, I don't know whether you'd call it experience, but imagine when I was about seventeen, in the back seat of an automobile. " (Other sex experiences before marriage? ) Subject men- tions several incidental relationships, none of which led to affairs. . . . "I think that probably contributed to my feeling of not being successful and not being able to . . . afraid of being clumsy. . . . "
M56 tells that he has "always been rather inhibited about sex. "
M59 admits that his girl left him for another man: "At r6 about a year and a half. I felt pretty bad about it when we split up. I got a job and she started going out with another man. "
Likewise frank are the low-scoring women in their admission of difficulties in adjusting to a feminine role, or of a lack of attraction for men.
Thus F62, asked about her boy friends, reports: "I am avoided by the male sex perhaps because I am too heavy. I only have speaking acquaintances with boys. When I meet boys I immediately try to be witty and clever and this is a great mis-
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 395
take. I never go on dates; sometimes I am glad of it because I have more time for reading-and sometimes I am sorry. "
F27 reports: (After you began to get acquainted with boys, were you at ease with them? ) "Not for a long time. At first I didn't even enjoy a date. I was so busy worry- ing if he would ask me for another. I can't say I ever did enjoy boys very much. It is just the idea that they are boys. I never got all thrilled like some girls do. I never cared a lot about anyone until I met my husband. "
F3o has no difficulties in admitting that she never had a date: "We became en- gaged without ever having a date. In fact, I never had dates. . . . W e often laugh now about the fact that we got engaged and knew we wanted to spend our lives together without ever having had a date. "
F63 tells about her difficulty in accepting the feminine role: "Can't make myself do anything. Never have been willing to accept my role as a woman. This is just one of a long series of depressions which have resulted from having my ambitions blocked. I really love my present husband, would like to get myself straightened out while he is at sea. If I don't I'll lose him too. "
Generally, one of the most outstanding characteristics of our low-scoring subjects is their ability to admit shortcomings in themselves (see Section C). The above quotations show clearly that low-scoring men can admit sexual insufficiency, "awkwardness," and "clumsiness" without further rationaliza- tion. Similarly the low-scoring women are ready to face their lack of success in this field as well as their difficulties in accepting a feminine role. Espe- cially in the last of the records there is clear indication of conflict between love for the husband and having one's "ambitions blocked" by marriage. At the same time, sex seems to be much more integrated with social rela- tions in unprejudiced individuals, and much more oriented toward specific persons.
3. MORALISTIC REJECTION OF INSTINCTUAL TENDENCIES
It appears, furthermore, that high scorers tend to manifest what may be called a moralistic rejection of the id (Category 2 3a). The restricted type of prejudiced person manifests, in the main, explicit anti-id moralism; the less restricted-but often not less inhibited-type of high scorer, to be found primarily in our prison sample, manifests the same tendency though often more indirectly, e. g. , by attachment to a frigid woman and often in context with promiscuity. If high-scoring subjects think of sex primarily in terms of success and failure, it is not surprising to find that they tend to reject the
purely erotic or sensual.
Our low scorers, on the other hand, tending in general to be less repressed,
seem to manifest more acceptance of the id. The results on the entire Cate- gory 2 3a show the expected trend without, however, reaching statistical sig- nificance. There are I 7 positive as contrasted with 8 negative instances in men, and a similar and slightly higher ratio in women.
Examples of high-scoring men who are attached to a frigid partner are: M4o: In the past year subject has been very much in love with a married woman.
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"She doesn't like her husband, but has a false loyalty to him because he is in the army, and makes herself miserable. I never met the man. I got fed up from her sheer stu- pidity! When I went East, I was to send her money to get her divorce and I wrote her daily and she never replied; and I came out to find out what had happened and she re-discovered her loyalty to him and she actually wouldn't let me touch her. He hurt her physically and she couldn't enjoy sex. She had a doctor treating her and she would say to me, 'I am only half a woman. ' All that was a part of it all. I was prepared to take care of everything and I had arranged to take care of her younger brother and sister. "
M4s: (What sort of person was she? ) "The type of person that you see a lot of. Wise and dumb, both. . . . Knows a lot about business, nothing about people. . . . She trusts everyone (subject gives an example) . . . . W e didn't get on too good sex- ually because she was kind of on the frigid line, but still in all I was in love with her and I still am. I'd like nothing better than to go back to her. . . . I don't think there's much chance of it though. . . . "
Msz: (Marriage? ) "She was r2 years older than me. (Q) She's a very literary person. W e did have a lot of things in common. She's cold as a clam sexually (Did you have intercourse with her? ) Yes, lots of times and I used especially . . . in the evening getting ready to go out. . . . "
Mp: "She tried very hard to make me happy. . . . The thing that eventually broke us up was (proximity of her parents). She could always run home. . . . Another drawback was the sexual relationship. . . . She was the type that didn't care much for it. . . . She never had any desire for it. "
Although rejection of the id, in the foregoing records of high-scoring men, is manifested mainly in the choice of, and attachment to, a frigid woman, it is interesting to note that some of the men at the same time show signs of crude and unsocialized sex impulses (see below). In these cases the inability to accept genuine sexuality leads to both a frequent change of the sex object without personal involvement, and involvement without sex.
Anti-id moralism is more clearly manifest in the statements of prejudiced women, who often have very definite ideas of what is to be considered as wrong. Examples from their interviews follow.
F22: "Sex isn't uppermost in my mind by any means. . . . I'm more for having a good time with the exclusion of sex interest. (Q) I've been shocked by the conduct of my girl friends. I didn't think they were that type. "
F;z: "I think a girl should be friendly, but I don't like necking in the back of a show. A boy and a girl should be just friends. "
Fu: "When at high school was first kissed. " Subject didn't like it. She was fright- ened.
F7z. ? (Proper? ) "I don't believe in parking-no matter what you're doing. I be- lieve in kissing. I've done my share of it, but I've never parked. . . . (A girl who did) I'd stick with, but wouldn't think much of her. . . . Mother says 'a boy admires a girl who admires herself. ' "
Low-scoring subjects, on the other hand, show more acceptance of sex in general, though not without evidence of conflict.
Acceptance of instinctual tendencies is shown in the following records of low-scoring subjects:
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 397
Ms6: (hnportance of sex in' marriage? ) "Very high. I was fortunate in being per- fectly mated to my wife, sexually, that is. "
Mss: (Sex adjustment with her? ) "Very well, took quite a long time, though. "
M16: Subject was in love several times-some of the times the girls were married or did not want to marry him.
Once during the depression he had an affair with one girl for several years but did not want to get married because of financial cir- cumstances. Subject married in _ _ after living with his present wife for several years. "We get along pretty well, never quarrel. (How did you get along sexually? ) Pretty well. "
4. "PURE" VS. "BAD" WOMEN
It is probably the predominance of surface adulation of, and underlying resentment against, the mother, found in high-scoring men, that leads to what is here called their dichotomous sex attitudes as defined by the separa- tion of sex and affect, or by the sharpness of the distinction between a "bad" and a "pure" woman. On the other hand, fusion of sex and affect, a tendency to more personalized sex relations, is found more often in low-scoring men
(Category 24). The difference is significant at the 1 per cent level as de- fined at the end of Chapter IX.
In our sample of women we find the same trend, but the difference is not statistically significant.
Examples of the dichotomous conception of "good" vs. "bad" women, taken from the records of high-scoring men, follow.
M s1: (Other relations with women? ) "Well, yes, three or four, all older than me and they weren't anything but physical. "
Mp: "She taught me something that stuck with me all my life, that a woman is the most perfect thing in the world, that is, the right kind of woman. "
M6: "I like a girl who is level-headed and can talk on several topics. I don't like the Maizie and Flo type or the sex boxes. Yes, I have been out with the latter, but you have to be careful. There's always the danger of disease. "
The records of the following two high scorers show the kind of charac- teristics these men value most in the girls they would like to marry:
M 14: (What about girls? ) "Well, there is nothing definite yet, though I have known a lot. I never have found one I'd like to marry. I want a girl whose sole inter- est is in the home. I think a woman's place should not be in the business world. So many women have lost the sense of home. . . . "
M2o: "They're (Indians) a reckless lot, careless about marriages and divorce. . . . (Q) Yes, I went through high school with one girl. . . . Very religious. Got with her around the church. . . . Never took each other very seriously, more or less, just accepted one another. " The subject left and when he returned, she had gotten mar- ried. "She was more or less what I was looking for. Very religious. . . . "
The conception of marriage as a rather external affair not involving com- mon interests, and also demonstrating conventional moralism, is given by the record of the following high scorer:
M41: (What was your wife like? ) "A nice person. A nurse, before I married her.
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(Q) Well, I liked her looks and manners. (In what ways were you most alike? ) Well, we weren't much alike in any way. We got along all right. . . . Her mother was Christian Science. (What about her? ) She was Christian Science. (Any chil- dren? ) No. (In what ways most different? ) \Vell, a little different in tastes about things. (Q) Most anything. I liked flowers and she didn't care much for flowers. (Main difficulties? ) I didn't have any. We got along good. I let her have her own way. Takes two to start an argument. (Have her way in what things? ) In most anything. Well, if we was going anywhere, if I went to buy a suit of clothes, I let her pick it out. If we wanted anything for the house, I let her pick it. (Childhood sex experiences? ) Well, I don't remember any. \Vhen I was a kid, such things weren't taught. . . . Such things weren't mentioned by parents or anyone else. If you met a girl on the street, you'd blush. . . . I don't think it's a very good subject to teach. They learn it soon enough. "
The lack of integration of sex and affection found in high-scoring men is likewise illustrated by some of these quotations. Quite commonly, in the girls they would like to marry, they require, above all, moral standards; often this is the only requirement. Frequently their marriages do not seem to be based on companionship or love. As far as their reports about premarital sexual relationships are concerned, they usually manifest contempt for the women involved. In both marriage and the more casual sex relationships there seems to be little concern with common interest and comradeship.
The difference in the attitude toward sexual relationships in high-scoring as compared with low-scoring men can perhaps best be exemplified by two records describing extramarital relationships. In both cases there is evidence of sexual and marital maladjustment. The differences, however, are charac- teristic of the two groups, respectively.
Ms8, a high-scoring man, reports: "And if you're not satisfied it might become uppermost in your mind, even above work, etc. . . . I believe I've seen where it is necessary for emotional stability, to relieve yourself regardless of marriage. (How do you mean? ) First thing you know you're looking around . . . find something some- where and relieve . . . then can go back and concentrate. . . . (What main difficulties have you found in your marriage? ) My wife and I have always been thoroughly compatible . . . (only trivial daily problems) . . . can't think of anything . . . only one particular thing: I got to chasing around with another woman (although my wife had nothing to do with it; there was no conflict with her) it was in me entirely alone. . . . "
Mzo, a low-scoring man: "We have not enjoyed our sexual relationships almost since the first day of our marriage. I don't want it, and we often go for months with- out coitus . . . is that the word? My wife always takes the initiative in our relation- ships; she is very passionate. So am I-I have had three affairs since my marriage. I am having one now and she knows it. "
The first of these men, a high scorer, talks about sex as though it were an ego-alien tension which has to be "relieved" for hygienic reasons. Thus, in the most intimate interpersonal relationships, he displays a utilitarian and
(pseudo-)realistic outlook. The depersonalized attitude in this subject is drastically expressed by referring to his sexual partner as "something," and
? SEX, PEOPLE, AND SELF SEEN THROUGH INTERVIEWS 399
in the phrase "find something somewhere and relieve. " On the other hand, the low-scoring subject, in a somewhat evasive, unperceptive effort to integrate his extramarital relationships into his total life-pattern, exemplifies the inhibited and at the same time impulse-ridden maladjustment sometimes
found in those scoring low on ethnocentrism.
5. EGO-ALIEN AMBIV ALENCE VS. "FONDNESS"
The isolation of sex experience in the typical high scorers is connected with an ambivalent underlying disrespect for, and resentment against, the opposite sex, often hidden behind an externalized and excessive pseudoad- miration. Low scorers, on the other hand, manifest more often genuine respect and fondness for the opposite sex (Category 25). The difference is highly significant (1 per cent level) for men, and satisfactorily significant
(5 per cent level) for women.
An example of the "High" type of ambivalence toward women is the fol-
lowing statement:
M8z: "I don't think men respect women or anything about women, the way they ought to. . . . In other words, women aren't inferior to men. If anything, they are superior. After all, they are the hands that rock the cradle. " His admiration of women goes hand in hand with his conception of women as weak. Subject argues strongly at this point that restrictions should be removed on women, but still ex- presses his disapproval of women in business on the grounds that it would spoil the dependent (i. e. , the home type) woman's chances.
More open lack of appreciation is shown in the following description of his stepmother by a high scorer:
M4o: (What sort of person was your stepmother? ) "Pretty hard to describe, just another woman, I guess . . . nothing glaringly ou. tstanding. (In what ways was she like your father? ) She wasn't. (How different? ) In every way. She wasn't his equal in anything-intellectually. More matter of convenience than anything else. "
Undisguised contempt for girls is displayed by another high scorer:
M u : "But I can't stand being around a bunch of girls, a lot of senseless chatter. They are all the same. Sororities are the cliquiest and the snottiest. "
One of the high-scoring prison inmates blames his fate on his wife:
M57: "This last one I married was really a corker. . . . She just got her divorce. . . . I found out she was married all the time to another man. . . . She got me in here, I guess I got pussy-simple. "
Correspondingly, contempt for men is expressed in the following records of high-scoring women:
F24: "Of course, now if you pick a boy as a friend, right away they want to get juicy. You have to be careful about boys. "
F31: "I wouldn't want to be a factory worker, either. It's not very good to say now, when they need everybody that's working in factories, but I can't see a girl
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working in jeans and around grease and putting themselves on the same level with men. "
Low-scoring subjects, on the other hand, in seeking companionship with the opposite sex, more often manifest some measure of fondness. This at- titude, shown by the following protocols, tends to increase in longer and more intimate relationships, as indicated by the statement of M42 that "a successful marriage certainly leads to familiarity but not to contempt. "
The necessity of frankness in marriage is emphasized by Msg: "When I do meet the one girl for me, I shall explain all my past life to her, because I do not believe that happiness can be based on lies. " The frankness but also the compulsive feature in this statement are characteristic of the type of low scorer with neurotic features (see below).
Another low scorer shows love and respect for a woman in spite of the fact that the marriage did not work out:
Mso: " A t that time I was too self-centered t~ be in love with anyone. . . . I did admire and respect and like her . .
