And did his
lordship
meet them ?
Rehearsal - v1 - 1750
He's
now, unfortunately, got above us. Above our power, but not our malice. Therefore we must take another
way. We must now sooth and flatter him, and /e-adhim, ifwe can, because we cannot drivehim to his ruin. Since we cannot depress him, we'll strive to exalt him to a pre cipice, whence we may tumble him down with a greater
We'll betray him with a And if he bite at our or but seem to hearken to our project, he infal libly loses the high-church, as he is already, for ever, lost to the low, and to the dissenters.
fall.
made a
C. But dos'nt think he'll consider from whom soch i proposal comes ? from those who have done all they can to blacken him, and render him odious to all the nation,
as thou hast been employ d to do, and hast done with all thy- might ? It is an old faying, that the gifts ofenemies are to be suspected. I've heard a latin verse. Timeo Da- turn, & dona ferentes. They fay, if one accepts any
presents from a witch, her charms have power over him. O. All means must be try'd. This is the last card we have to play. If we don't catch him, we are caught our
lelves, past redemption.
But, countryman, this is but half, and not half our
This is but ashooing-horn, to bring about what we have been labouring at, ever since this reign ; and cou'd never sind a proper means to make it bear, Butnow we hope we have found it out. That to get the young
prince of Hanover over hither in this Queen's time That we may flock about him, as we did about Mommuth and carry him about to horse races, and such like things, all round England. And whoever shew not full popularity to him, we'll mark them as higb-tory-tantivy-mn and set the mob upon them. We'll have new of iworthy-men, and men-worthy.
When
slot.
a
list ;
: ;
is,
The REHEARSAL.
67
When we faw the late
period, of immortal memory, we publish 'd a book intituled,
Reasons for addressing his majesty to invite into England their highnesses the electress Dowager, and the electoral prince of'Hanover, &c. London, printed andfold by John Nntt near Stationers-hall, 1702. It was printed in Mi-
chaelmas-term, 1 70 1 ; and according to the custom of the booksellers in London, bears date the year following. There we set down the doughtiest of our reasons for a hill of exclufion against all the children of Tarquin, of which we propos'd aform, which begins thus, p. 1 7, // is our
pleasure, that /^Tarquins, with their whole Procenv be banistyd, &c. And p. 1 5, we fay, That all free peo ple have set afide the children of tyrants, for reasons of eternal and universal force.
This was pursuant to what was resolv'd in our noble
plot of' the Rye-house, wherein it was absolutely resolved to have nothing to do with the race of the Stuarts. As is told in the informations upon oath, annex'd to the account of that conspiracy, p. 134. .
But not being able to bring the house of commons to our project ; (they are our grand incumbrance ) we thought to persuade his glorious majesty to call over the electress Dowager, or young prince of Hanover, with all haste. But he was too cunning for us ; and did not care to put on his winding-sheet till he was dead; observing that maxim of his wise predecessor queen Elizabeth.
We gave a pretty handsome stroke too at some body's list at the close of that treatise for bringing over the prince
of Hanover, p. 20. Where we tell of horrible things, blind and clancular bargains; but Cæsar' J wife ought to be unsuspected, as well as innocent. Now our Cæsar's wife was dead long before. And in this paragraph xxxi . king William, and princess Anne are join'd together, and none spoke of but they two. And it is propos'd, that her royal highness the princess o/~Denmark (by name) shou'd be oblig'd to take the abjuration, for further se
curity.
glorious drawing near his
of
Bui
68 The REHEARSAL.
But alas ! we began too late, and our fate came os
too soon. For the eighth of March following was decreed
by destiny for the apotheofis of our glorious and immortal ; and the advancement of this devoted princess to the throne of her ancestors.
Then we were all in the sudds. And dreamt of nothing but of receivingour deserts. Then it was, that (as before rehears'd, Num. 5. ) I my self sell upon king William i and
his ministry, upon the legionites, and our quondam (and now again ) most noble patriots, who wrote the black Us, whom I then call'd execrable wretches : And call'd those worthy members of the house of commons, who were put into that lift, even Sir George Rook himself, who was one
of them. Being willing to eat up my own dung, or any thing, to fave my neck from that bow of a noose, and the n-arrow thou told'st me of. And so were/ v? e aH.
2fl&# devil was fick, the de&ll d monk woii Abe* (But when we hapry had proeurM*
Instead of hemp, to be preserr'd)
The devil grew well. The devil a monk •etrat-tii.
From that time forth, we have carry 'd on three grand deflgns.
First, Not only to get our selves into the ministry, but to thrust all others out.
For which end, the post was assigned to me (with some
assistants) to blacken and asperse ail of the ministry that were not whigs, from the lord high admiral downwards
And to run down the queen's hereditary right ; to placi her wholly upon the foot of the revolution ; and to up the depofing doctrine: And to make the revolution turn altogether upon that, and not upon the abdication', Rehearsal. N. 3. ) And this- means to persuade the £>ucen, that she was not safe in any Other hands, but those who thought lawful to dipose her, as they had done to her royal father and grand-father That she an
swerable for thesaults of her ministers Whom they have represented in blacker colours, and attack'd with greatei
(sei
:
:
it
by
is
of
set
TJie REHEARSAL.
6g
insolence, and more universally, than the ministry of any of her royal predecessors. Yet no danger to her for all this (
to break the church. For that And while the church stands, w*
not time yet, to attack the r/>acY/& donwright we have invented, and set abroad the distinc
tion of A/j and /irco church. First to divide them among
The second defign supports the crown.
can never r//5i. But because
themselves, as has done, to
great degree and then,
under this distinction, to give free vent to all that malice
can suggest against the church, her constitution, liturgy,
rites, and ceremonies And to beat down all from shew
ing any zeal or concern for the church, branding them
as high-sliers, which we call popishly-affcflcd.
But the and chief /&/Sg« to get the young
prince of Hanover, not his rand-mother, over hither; whom we hope to make the head of our league. And
this marriage will surely effect it. have already pub lish'd the banes of matrimony.
C. wish thee good luck. However, we'll see by this, how people take But some of us, master, make too much haste. They mayspoil all.
was last Michaelmas-day at Chippenham in Wiltshire, where the new «uzy»: or bailiff, or what d'ye call him, had upon the entrance into his office. And there
happena yra$fe 'twixt one of the high, and another of the l&w church. And swords were drawn, upon an odd occasion. About two months before, in club of our
fiiends, one IV——t fellorw of £f . —m college, drank this health, To the speedy accession the princess Hano ver to the throne of England. And to make caster that ter way might be pavd with the stulls of all the high church. One of the company having repeated this after wards, suppose thinking no harm being all way of
moderation And meeting at company, who was incens'd at it, was the occasion of the quarrel. wise about than before.
this feast with one
having made Which caus'd
of the noise,
greater
: it
I a
A;
it
;of Iis,
by
a by of a,
it
a
;
a
:
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it.
if
it
it is
g
a
is,
The REHEARSAL.
7o
O. O I hate these blabs, orfalse-brothers ; they have
a ruin'd many a good cause. But countryman, if it be so, we mull make tke greater haste, that we be not pre
vented.
G. I tell thee, Bays, thou art a blab too, or a
brother. And that upon a point, which will not only disgust the present government at us ! but make us enemies
to the ^oa/i of Hanover, and that illustrious succession. We shall be rogues on all hands, if thou clear not thy self and
»s in this matter. Thou hast asserted in thy Observattr (Vol. 2. N. 25. ) and sct'st it down as a principle, That r<g«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Because it is an
office, like that of the mayors orsheriffs; and therefore, that it must be always (if not annually) elective. Foi that, as thou fay'11, no office can be hereditary.
Now, master, hast not thou consider'd, that the sue-
cessipn upon the house of Hanover, being protestants, is an entail, and made hereditary? And here thou dedarst, that the ng«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Is not this a manisest arraigning the ofsuccession ; and so coming under the treason they are liable to who oppose it ? This is oppofing it in the very heart of in the whole
frame and constitution of it.
O. The truth on't countryman, we are against all
kings or queens. We are for our own /ij/s, a common- wealth against them all. But we must have king, we wou'd have an ehctive one, that he might the more
pend upon us. And the worfe title, always, with
us, the better king. Now when the prince of Hanover comes to the throne, in his own turn, according to law, he will
certainly insist upon his hereditary right. And shall be rebel then, as well as now. And intend it, if live
so long. For must be always true to my principles.
And, no doubt, he'll be for passive-obcdience, and the
old jure divino stuff. D'ye think, he'd be willing to
be deposed us, when we please he'll see us hangi sirst.
C. Why then art thou earnest to have him in before his turn
O. Be-
f
,a
.
so
is, if
by
I
?
I
I
it, a
I
de
The REHEARSAL. ji
O. Because it is before his turn. And so the less right F that. And we are all for the least right in our go- et-nours. Theirs is all derivative from us. We allow
F no original right, but only in the people to rebel. Besides, the osier we change our kings, the better, that hey may plead no prescription or inheritance. And we nay get something by every change. Some change or other to embrangle and confound. We love troubled •wa-
'ers* there are f/h to be caught.
From •Sat. Oct 14, to&at. August 21, 1704. Nei2.
Tbe conclusion ofthe comical romance. With the second part to the fame tune, by master Observator.
Coun. * 1 vHOU promis'dst me Saturday finnight, Ji that next meeting thou wou'dst give me the remainder of the comical romance, thou then began'st ; wherein there shou'd be some fighting and cuffing work. And last Saturday thou put'st me off with a story of a marriage thou had'st projected, or some body else for
thee. What's this tofighting?
O. O, Sir, the most that can be. For,
Just so romances are, for what else Is in them all, but love and battles ?
Having then begun the amour intrigue, we'll go oa to
for that follows next in order.
We left off at William Cikpepcr'% refusing the challenge
of Mr. Dencw, upon a private quarrel of his own, till he had sirst fought Sir George Rook ; whom he never intended to fight, either in England, Holland, or any place else,
where there was any danger of a halter. Besides another
considerable reason which he gives, in his fore-mention'd
flate ofthe difference, Sec. p. 38. That Mr. Denew was, A man more than commonly jkiWd in fencing. And W. C. would fight no man that had more//// than himself.
f-ghting,
The REHEARSAL
I have bestow'd my oaken-towel upon his bones. for
72
C. If any man had given me such an ans'ver,
woul ht
that will not Jight, has the privilege of being Beaten.
O. Mr. Denew took the fame course. And meeds! W-C in the street, laid on him with his cane. This font
the hero to draw, and run away backwards, till he ws stopt by a wall ; which he fully prov'd at the trial. Then Mr. Dencw drew likewise, and pursudhim, till he came
to his stand.
C. Now swords axe out, I am pleas'd !
Now whs O. I'll give it you in TV. C's own words, in hIis rela
came on't ?
tion of this p.
I
threv took thai opportunity, and made a home pass at him. Says Mr. De- KEw, that is not fair—But W. C. p. 38. proves it to be
fair, out of Spelmans Glossary.
C. Was there no blood shed then on either side ?
O. No, company came in and parted them. Else W. C. might have thrown his head at him next time.
C. And is this the end of the story? Is this the con
clusion of your romance ?
O. No, No, W- C. got asecond, was too hard for themall. C. I don't sind he needed any. But what second did
he choose ?
O. It was my lord chiefjustice Holt. For he's i
knight, and so, a man of war. At least it was so in
Spelmans Glossary.
C.
And did his lordship meet them ?
O. Yes. Three of them all together, wife. Mr. Natha-
thaniel Denew, Mr. Robert Britton, and Mr. John Mer- riam. And there were twelve judges of the field. Who all gave it against W. C. that there was no conspiracy to assassinate him, as he was terribly asraid ; only a few dry blows design'd, to teach him better manners. How ever, the law could not avoid taking notice of assault
and battery, and fiud Mr. Denew for that. And so W. C. came off -victoria!
Sic
combat,
my hat at him, which miss'd him ; asterwards
15.
where he-fays
threw
which hit him upon his I
first
my peruke, shoulder:
thus,
"The REHEARSAL.
Sic freya suit, fec guisa peracta
Una nee interea spillata drossa cruorii.
C. Ifthere no great honour, there some money to he got, sind, by being drubb'd. An ill tongue, and
bad pair of bands, may prove pretty thriving trade, with good management.
But what becomes of your 20 cut-throat commissioners
the blood office, at this rate You see, that as many of them as were tryd, were all acquit of any defign of assassi- nation.
O. What signisies being acquit We can keep up the cry and the noise of still. It necessary we should do so. It will blacken these church-men still, with all that
believe us which thou know'st are not few. There fore, in my Obser*vator of Saturday fe'nnight, the 7th instant, fall again upon this wicked method of assassina- tion. And put all our good friends upon their guard! Which will alarm them not little! And make them ready for what w have to do with them For who would
not rather assassinate, than be assassinated? And they who begin sirst, have the advantage. Do'st understand me, countryman '
sassination against thy own worthy person. And that we may guess from whom like to come, thou fay'fl to thy self, out of my mouth, there's captain somebody, or lieutenant somebody, that says he'll stab you, he be bangd for it, for abufing Sir George Rook. Here's the blood-office up again and d'ye think we'll all steep till our throats be cut? No, master, we're all ready, when ever you give the word! have my Marston-moor. and Edge-hili. , both sword and musket in good order-
wipe them, clean every day and long to be at work And we know whom you mean by captain some-body, and lieutenant some-body, that captain or lieutenant
Vol. evk-.
73
C. O, persectly well, Sir your language known to us all. A word to the wife sufsicient! And that we may be more deeply concern'd, and think the knife at every man's throat, thou' alarmist us with design of as
I I.
I
;
of
I
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?
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is
?
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is ?
if !
a
a
is
!
efl a is:
it
The REHEARSAL.
74
every-body, whom we please. And thou tell'st they
are in office. Thou fay'st, these assafiins and bullies in other people's causes, are a new fort of men, sprung up in England in a few years time ; and that these men should Here's a stroke at all the at least all that express any We'll make assassines and bullies of them all. And as thou fay'st notably in the fame place, it is as lawful to stab on one fide as the other. And
have offices is a srange thing. officers in the army or navy ; concern for Sir George Rook.
if we begin sirst, it is only by way of prevention ! How ever, there's nothing rouses the spirit of mob, and keeps them more upon the fret, and ready, than the noise of assassinations. Then we turn this upon the government; and that these men should have offices, is a srange thing! And what is that government that employs assassmes ? Ha! ;ny boy ! we have it ! and whoever reads this Observatcr a twelve-month hence, will certainly conclude, that these Rookites did intend assassinations upon the worthy Obscr-
•vator, as surely as upon the body of W. Colepeper. And we know how to keep up the cry in the mean time, till at last all our party will have it by tradition, and believe it as certainly, as all the other stories we have told them ; and by which we have done such great things, both in
the present and past ages. -''
But hark ye, master, suppose Sir George Rook shou'd
sind some remedy at law against thee, as well as William
Colepeper, who makes him to have employ'd these assas- fines, and set them on ?
O. How can that be ? Why, man, the Judges are attack'd themselves, every one of them, the whole bench of them all together; and I lay plainly, that no fair play is to be expected, or justice done, as long as our present judges art in being. Which is quoted in the Rehearsal. N. 3. as likewise my reflections upon the lord high admiral, by name, (I am not afraid! ) and upon fine Jade victor, Sec.
And I own my self, and tell of the prosecution against me, and repeat the articles exhibited against me ; and ridicule them, and laugh at them all ; and stand upon the law of England, and good protestant juries. I'm as safe as a
The R E H E A R S A L.
75 thief 'in a mill. Forif the judges cannot sind law, or that it must not be executed (as not being seasonable, at this time, like the occafional hill) to lave themselves out ofmy lift of knaves, nor the bishops, nor the convocation, nor the of commons, nor the prince himself, nor even the : What is Sir George Rook ! that he should think to have anyjustice by law against me the Observator; who represent the whole body of the whigs and dissenters, am
employ'd, paid, and supported by /Am, in the face of /aw it self. As occafional conformity is, in despight of the corporation, and test acts. And while that stands, never sear me, countryman. It is the party must not be aV/oA- ligyd ; and that not one way more than another. No more
by affronting the Observator, or stopping his mouth, than
by bringing in again the occafional hill. Let them if they dare! w e are ready to reW. I have often proclaim'd
it. And who dare flop my trumpet ? As I fay, in the fame Observator, we are upon (Vil. 3. N. 57. ) where I am again attacking Sir George Rook, by way of extenuat
ing what I had before faid against him ; and fay, VzV «
siabVdfor giving his opinion ;
as well as another man. C. But not like another man! If any of the high- church (by which we mean all true church-men, and join
always, and in this very Observator, withjacohites and papists) shou'd fay the tenth part of what thou hast faid
against the government, and the ministry ; and name par ticular persons and chiefs of the WHic/iar/y, as f<&«« do'st
his royal highness, Sir George Rook, Sic. there would be law found out for them. And the government should disoblige us all (since that is the que) if they were not made examples of ; for we have mettle ! When the laiu was of our side, in a former revolution, Sec. we shew'd them what law was. Then Chim durst not />c#. But now the law is on their side, we bellow and £b//ii And ifiA&gi offer to take notice; we tell them, we'll be a»- gry, and, that if we are disoblig'd, it shall be worse for
forthatitisfzWofwar/ and, my boy, we carry it! the more insolent, we shall be the better u/d! for Ez '%
Aer*/ I æ
certainly
have liberty
ofspeech,
The REHEARSAL.
76
they are asraid of us! Then bullying is the uuord! » must not be disobligd; and they cannot be pro•vaiti
Or, if they are, it is no matter. They arefriends to
therefore the government may make ooi with them, and disoblige them, as pleases. For yot know friends will be friends still but we must gratify cut enemies himpostible to friend: But is the thing in the world to gain an enemy! especially such eat- ndes as we are! who never yet/sz/fVan opportunity toes- press our gratitude to those who have been most indulges to us. As evident in all the reigns since Q_Elixabttk Who was so fearful or cautious as not to trust (surged ttature and therefore had nothing but sew ill wm from us with hearty endeavours to have done more would have let us. But she watch'd our waters, and would trust none of us. And we had livd under such goal management till new, we had all been dead bo years ago!
From &slt. Oct. at, to&at. Oct. 28, 1704. N° 13.
Observator'o preparationfor his trial. The argument
of the whigs, that they must not disoblig'd, because the money they have in the public funds. The Obferva- tor's religion. And greatness his church.
G? «». TT N my Observator next before the meeting of this fijsion of parliament, last Saturday, 03<A.
gave notice, that my Obfervator should come out three times week. And told, that had notice of my trial to be on the fourth of November next, for writing these fame Ob/ervators. This shews how Tittle value
the prosecution of the government, which have bully
and must still continue to bully. That the wtrdgiven me. That thesecurity of our party, and their strength. -Without this, we could not make our selves mfiderahk,
nor terrify! Have notice then of roy trials' Jit" m fame time tell them, that am far from giving over my Observators, for which they prosecute me, that now they shall have more of them than ever they had. And
for
government
I so
a
!
I
is I
a
I d;
if
if jit
21
,IJ[ ;; Iit Iisa is;
I of k be
it it
if
tta
The REHEARSAL.
77
for their notice of my trial, I give them notice, that my
Observator shall henceforth come out every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. And for what end ? That the People may know for what 1 am tryd! And I fay, they aught to know. Here I bully the government again, and ,my judges! Let them look to have aspea I'd before hand to the people and arraign the judgment of the* court (if mould pass against me) to all the mob in En
gland, who will take their account of my trial, from what have already represented to them . new method not
before known in England; and permitted, may be come a precedent of no small consequence. As the like
method! have taken in discovering the abuses, as
in the admiralty, navy, &c. by blazoning them in my weekly hbes-s, and complaining that can get Aojustice. Whereby prejudice the mob against the government all ©ver the nation. As Absalom stole the hearts of the people, not by accusing David, but faying, there none put ed
the king to do justice. This still resects upon him. - And no government can that will suffer its admini- tration to? be pubaickly lampoon must unavoid ably alienate the hearts of the people and renders the government contemptible! for this end we do it. And now shall have trial of skill, whether
we can do or not. It not my cause only, but
of oar mighty God legion who must not be disoblig'd, and therefore must prevail! whose power consists in his grin, and making himself formidable. And who
ever are frighted at him, he devours them
one exception. ) And whoever resists him, he pies from them. Witness Q^Bess, whom we curs'd all her lise; and have her memory in detestation to this day. And wit ness K. Charles II. after the Oxfordparliament when he made us all scamper, and run like serpents into our boles
no other force than supporting the lavss, and not suffering us to trample upon them, and out-brave them, as we do now maintaining the cerporatien and test aBt in their vigour, and not letting them be explain'd
away in z. senfdefs and hypocritical occasional conformity. Thi*.
pretend,
(without
E 3
if
it, dI
! by
it
by
of
I
I
it
by
;
is a
it
;
;
I is d
;
It
is
A
d.
I
!
78
The REHEARSAL.
This brought us so/sw, that even in xealous Scotland,
there was not, at his death, (which happen'd soon after)
one presbyterian publick meeting, but what dropped of it self ; and all came to church, when they faw there was
nothing to be got by staying out of it ! but his brother K. Jamee II. set us up again ; and what he got by it is well known.
We were all as much down, and as much dispirited as ever, upon the death of our lateglorious K as thou did'st remind me in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. And if we had been let alone, we should have been as quiet as a mouse in
a cheese.
But now that we are valud and confider'd, we are
And will have t'other touch for it !
I tell thee, countryman, they dare notdisoblige us, out
party having so much money in the hank and publick funds. C. They have us the faster for that, man ; for tho' we befalse to every thing else, we never will be to our interest ! It has been the policy of several kings to run in debt to their subjects, on purpose to keep them fast to their interest. And several church-men being deep in the
funds in the last reign, was the greatest security our good K. had of them. . * O. That was an unlucky thought in thee, which may be improv'd. Be sure thou fay not a word of it to any purlicment men ; it will turn the strongest argument we
navefor us, to be quite against us.
But hast thou obierv'd what I bid thee to get me, all
the libels that have been printed fence her majesty's accession to the throne, against her majesty's title, against the Ha-
confiderable again.
UOVir succession, in favour of Perkin, and against the
liberties, all which I may have them ready at my trial.
English
have
answer
that
C. All that thou hast answer d> Which are those thou ought'st to know them best. never heard of one of them. Or of any answer ever thou gav'st, except
calling rogue and rascal, and Bellarmin thou ft.
But have already minded thee of monstrous and Jenfeless libel, which have answer d; and struck the
I
I
a
I
If
'd,
?
I
bouse
who are the
of the liberties of I
The REHEARSAL.
79 vile v arlet dumb, that he dare not reply a word ; and
it may do thee confiderable service at thy trial. It is
the most impudent and ungrateful of vchigs, who endea- vour'd to murtber, and has, what in him lay, murder d
the memory of the who had put the greatest obligations upon him of any in the world, fav'd him from hanging,
which he richly deserv'd, and from a whipping, which he thought more grievous. It is the famous Observator— The very fame — alias Bays, alias Nobbs, alias Tutchin, alias Alias. Now look into my Rehearsal N. 2 and 3.
now, unfortunately, got above us. Above our power, but not our malice. Therefore we must take another
way. We must now sooth and flatter him, and /e-adhim, ifwe can, because we cannot drivehim to his ruin. Since we cannot depress him, we'll strive to exalt him to a pre cipice, whence we may tumble him down with a greater
We'll betray him with a And if he bite at our or but seem to hearken to our project, he infal libly loses the high-church, as he is already, for ever, lost to the low, and to the dissenters.
fall.
made a
C. But dos'nt think he'll consider from whom soch i proposal comes ? from those who have done all they can to blacken him, and render him odious to all the nation,
as thou hast been employ d to do, and hast done with all thy- might ? It is an old faying, that the gifts ofenemies are to be suspected. I've heard a latin verse. Timeo Da- turn, & dona ferentes. They fay, if one accepts any
presents from a witch, her charms have power over him. O. All means must be try'd. This is the last card we have to play. If we don't catch him, we are caught our
lelves, past redemption.
But, countryman, this is but half, and not half our
This is but ashooing-horn, to bring about what we have been labouring at, ever since this reign ; and cou'd never sind a proper means to make it bear, Butnow we hope we have found it out. That to get the young
prince of Hanover over hither in this Queen's time That we may flock about him, as we did about Mommuth and carry him about to horse races, and such like things, all round England. And whoever shew not full popularity to him, we'll mark them as higb-tory-tantivy-mn and set the mob upon them. We'll have new of iworthy-men, and men-worthy.
When
slot.
a
list ;
: ;
is,
The REHEARSAL.
67
When we faw the late
period, of immortal memory, we publish 'd a book intituled,
Reasons for addressing his majesty to invite into England their highnesses the electress Dowager, and the electoral prince of'Hanover, &c. London, printed andfold by John Nntt near Stationers-hall, 1702. It was printed in Mi-
chaelmas-term, 1 70 1 ; and according to the custom of the booksellers in London, bears date the year following. There we set down the doughtiest of our reasons for a hill of exclufion against all the children of Tarquin, of which we propos'd aform, which begins thus, p. 1 7, // is our
pleasure, that /^Tarquins, with their whole Procenv be banistyd, &c. And p. 1 5, we fay, That all free peo ple have set afide the children of tyrants, for reasons of eternal and universal force.
This was pursuant to what was resolv'd in our noble
plot of' the Rye-house, wherein it was absolutely resolved to have nothing to do with the race of the Stuarts. As is told in the informations upon oath, annex'd to the account of that conspiracy, p. 134. .
But not being able to bring the house of commons to our project ; (they are our grand incumbrance ) we thought to persuade his glorious majesty to call over the electress Dowager, or young prince of Hanover, with all haste. But he was too cunning for us ; and did not care to put on his winding-sheet till he was dead; observing that maxim of his wise predecessor queen Elizabeth.
We gave a pretty handsome stroke too at some body's list at the close of that treatise for bringing over the prince
of Hanover, p. 20. Where we tell of horrible things, blind and clancular bargains; but Cæsar' J wife ought to be unsuspected, as well as innocent. Now our Cæsar's wife was dead long before. And in this paragraph xxxi . king William, and princess Anne are join'd together, and none spoke of but they two. And it is propos'd, that her royal highness the princess o/~Denmark (by name) shou'd be oblig'd to take the abjuration, for further se
curity.
glorious drawing near his
of
Bui
68 The REHEARSAL.
But alas ! we began too late, and our fate came os
too soon. For the eighth of March following was decreed
by destiny for the apotheofis of our glorious and immortal ; and the advancement of this devoted princess to the throne of her ancestors.
Then we were all in the sudds. And dreamt of nothing but of receivingour deserts. Then it was, that (as before rehears'd, Num. 5. ) I my self sell upon king William i and
his ministry, upon the legionites, and our quondam (and now again ) most noble patriots, who wrote the black Us, whom I then call'd execrable wretches : And call'd those worthy members of the house of commons, who were put into that lift, even Sir George Rook himself, who was one
of them. Being willing to eat up my own dung, or any thing, to fave my neck from that bow of a noose, and the n-arrow thou told'st me of. And so were/ v? e aH.
2fl&# devil was fick, the de&ll d monk woii Abe* (But when we hapry had proeurM*
Instead of hemp, to be preserr'd)
The devil grew well. The devil a monk •etrat-tii.
From that time forth, we have carry 'd on three grand deflgns.
First, Not only to get our selves into the ministry, but to thrust all others out.
For which end, the post was assigned to me (with some
assistants) to blacken and asperse ail of the ministry that were not whigs, from the lord high admiral downwards
And to run down the queen's hereditary right ; to placi her wholly upon the foot of the revolution ; and to up the depofing doctrine: And to make the revolution turn altogether upon that, and not upon the abdication', Rehearsal. N. 3. ) And this- means to persuade the £>ucen, that she was not safe in any Other hands, but those who thought lawful to dipose her, as they had done to her royal father and grand-father That she an
swerable for thesaults of her ministers Whom they have represented in blacker colours, and attack'd with greatei
(sei
:
:
it
by
is
of
set
TJie REHEARSAL.
6g
insolence, and more universally, than the ministry of any of her royal predecessors. Yet no danger to her for all this (
to break the church. For that And while the church stands, w*
not time yet, to attack the r/>acY/& donwright we have invented, and set abroad the distinc
tion of A/j and /irco church. First to divide them among
The second defign supports the crown.
can never r//5i. But because
themselves, as has done, to
great degree and then,
under this distinction, to give free vent to all that malice
can suggest against the church, her constitution, liturgy,
rites, and ceremonies And to beat down all from shew
ing any zeal or concern for the church, branding them
as high-sliers, which we call popishly-affcflcd.
But the and chief /&/Sg« to get the young
prince of Hanover, not his rand-mother, over hither; whom we hope to make the head of our league. And
this marriage will surely effect it. have already pub lish'd the banes of matrimony.
C. wish thee good luck. However, we'll see by this, how people take But some of us, master, make too much haste. They mayspoil all.
was last Michaelmas-day at Chippenham in Wiltshire, where the new «uzy»: or bailiff, or what d'ye call him, had upon the entrance into his office. And there
happena yra$fe 'twixt one of the high, and another of the l&w church. And swords were drawn, upon an odd occasion. About two months before, in club of our
fiiends, one IV——t fellorw of £f . —m college, drank this health, To the speedy accession the princess Hano ver to the throne of England. And to make caster that ter way might be pavd with the stulls of all the high church. One of the company having repeated this after wards, suppose thinking no harm being all way of
moderation And meeting at company, who was incens'd at it, was the occasion of the quarrel. wise about than before.
this feast with one
having made Which caus'd
of the noise,
greater
: it
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it
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by
a by of a,
it
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if
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a
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The REHEARSAL.
7o
O. O I hate these blabs, orfalse-brothers ; they have
a ruin'd many a good cause. But countryman, if it be so, we mull make tke greater haste, that we be not pre
vented.
G. I tell thee, Bays, thou art a blab too, or a
brother. And that upon a point, which will not only disgust the present government at us ! but make us enemies
to the ^oa/i of Hanover, and that illustrious succession. We shall be rogues on all hands, if thou clear not thy self and
»s in this matter. Thou hast asserted in thy Observattr (Vol. 2. N. 25. ) and sct'st it down as a principle, That r<g«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Because it is an
office, like that of the mayors orsheriffs; and therefore, that it must be always (if not annually) elective. Foi that, as thou fay'11, no office can be hereditary.
Now, master, hast not thou consider'd, that the sue-
cessipn upon the house of Hanover, being protestants, is an entail, and made hereditary? And here thou dedarst, that the ng«/ dignity can never be hereditary. Is not this a manisest arraigning the ofsuccession ; and so coming under the treason they are liable to who oppose it ? This is oppofing it in the very heart of in the whole
frame and constitution of it.
O. The truth on't countryman, we are against all
kings or queens. We are for our own /ij/s, a common- wealth against them all. But we must have king, we wou'd have an ehctive one, that he might the more
pend upon us. And the worfe title, always, with
us, the better king. Now when the prince of Hanover comes to the throne, in his own turn, according to law, he will
certainly insist upon his hereditary right. And shall be rebel then, as well as now. And intend it, if live
so long. For must be always true to my principles.
And, no doubt, he'll be for passive-obcdience, and the
old jure divino stuff. D'ye think, he'd be willing to
be deposed us, when we please he'll see us hangi sirst.
C. Why then art thou earnest to have him in before his turn
O. Be-
f
,a
.
so
is, if
by
I
?
I
I
it, a
I
de
The REHEARSAL. ji
O. Because it is before his turn. And so the less right F that. And we are all for the least right in our go- et-nours. Theirs is all derivative from us. We allow
F no original right, but only in the people to rebel. Besides, the osier we change our kings, the better, that hey may plead no prescription or inheritance. And we nay get something by every change. Some change or other to embrangle and confound. We love troubled •wa-
'ers* there are f/h to be caught.
From •Sat. Oct 14, to&at. August 21, 1704. Nei2.
Tbe conclusion ofthe comical romance. With the second part to the fame tune, by master Observator.
Coun. * 1 vHOU promis'dst me Saturday finnight, Ji that next meeting thou wou'dst give me the remainder of the comical romance, thou then began'st ; wherein there shou'd be some fighting and cuffing work. And last Saturday thou put'st me off with a story of a marriage thou had'st projected, or some body else for
thee. What's this tofighting?
O. O, Sir, the most that can be. For,
Just so romances are, for what else Is in them all, but love and battles ?
Having then begun the amour intrigue, we'll go oa to
for that follows next in order.
We left off at William Cikpepcr'% refusing the challenge
of Mr. Dencw, upon a private quarrel of his own, till he had sirst fought Sir George Rook ; whom he never intended to fight, either in England, Holland, or any place else,
where there was any danger of a halter. Besides another
considerable reason which he gives, in his fore-mention'd
flate ofthe difference, Sec. p. 38. That Mr. Denew was, A man more than commonly jkiWd in fencing. And W. C. would fight no man that had more//// than himself.
f-ghting,
The REHEARSAL
I have bestow'd my oaken-towel upon his bones. for
72
C. If any man had given me such an ans'ver,
woul ht
that will not Jight, has the privilege of being Beaten.
O. Mr. Denew took the fame course. And meeds! W-C in the street, laid on him with his cane. This font
the hero to draw, and run away backwards, till he ws stopt by a wall ; which he fully prov'd at the trial. Then Mr. Dencw drew likewise, and pursudhim, till he came
to his stand.
C. Now swords axe out, I am pleas'd !
Now whs O. I'll give it you in TV. C's own words, in hIis rela
came on't ?
tion of this p.
I
threv took thai opportunity, and made a home pass at him. Says Mr. De- KEw, that is not fair—But W. C. p. 38. proves it to be
fair, out of Spelmans Glossary.
C. Was there no blood shed then on either side ?
O. No, company came in and parted them. Else W. C. might have thrown his head at him next time.
C. And is this the end of the story? Is this the con
clusion of your romance ?
O. No, No, W- C. got asecond, was too hard for themall. C. I don't sind he needed any. But what second did
he choose ?
O. It was my lord chiefjustice Holt. For he's i
knight, and so, a man of war. At least it was so in
Spelmans Glossary.
C.
And did his lordship meet them ?
O. Yes. Three of them all together, wife. Mr. Natha-
thaniel Denew, Mr. Robert Britton, and Mr. John Mer- riam. And there were twelve judges of the field. Who all gave it against W. C. that there was no conspiracy to assassinate him, as he was terribly asraid ; only a few dry blows design'd, to teach him better manners. How ever, the law could not avoid taking notice of assault
and battery, and fiud Mr. Denew for that. And so W. C. came off -victoria!
Sic
combat,
my hat at him, which miss'd him ; asterwards
15.
where he-fays
threw
which hit him upon his I
first
my peruke, shoulder:
thus,
"The REHEARSAL.
Sic freya suit, fec guisa peracta
Una nee interea spillata drossa cruorii.
C. Ifthere no great honour, there some money to he got, sind, by being drubb'd. An ill tongue, and
bad pair of bands, may prove pretty thriving trade, with good management.
But what becomes of your 20 cut-throat commissioners
the blood office, at this rate You see, that as many of them as were tryd, were all acquit of any defign of assassi- nation.
O. What signisies being acquit We can keep up the cry and the noise of still. It necessary we should do so. It will blacken these church-men still, with all that
believe us which thou know'st are not few. There fore, in my Obser*vator of Saturday fe'nnight, the 7th instant, fall again upon this wicked method of assassina- tion. And put all our good friends upon their guard! Which will alarm them not little! And make them ready for what w have to do with them For who would
not rather assassinate, than be assassinated? And they who begin sirst, have the advantage. Do'st understand me, countryman '
sassination against thy own worthy person. And that we may guess from whom like to come, thou fay'fl to thy self, out of my mouth, there's captain somebody, or lieutenant somebody, that says he'll stab you, he be bangd for it, for abufing Sir George Rook. Here's the blood-office up again and d'ye think we'll all steep till our throats be cut? No, master, we're all ready, when ever you give the word! have my Marston-moor. and Edge-hili. , both sword and musket in good order-
wipe them, clean every day and long to be at work And we know whom you mean by captain some-body, and lieutenant some-body, that captain or lieutenant
Vol. evk-.
73
C. O, persectly well, Sir your language known to us all. A word to the wife sufsicient! And that we may be more deeply concern'd, and think the knife at every man's throat, thou' alarmist us with design of as
I I.
I
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?
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if !
a
a
is
!
efl a is:
it
The REHEARSAL.
74
every-body, whom we please. And thou tell'st they
are in office. Thou fay'st, these assafiins and bullies in other people's causes, are a new fort of men, sprung up in England in a few years time ; and that these men should Here's a stroke at all the at least all that express any We'll make assassines and bullies of them all. And as thou fay'st notably in the fame place, it is as lawful to stab on one fide as the other. And
have offices is a srange thing. officers in the army or navy ; concern for Sir George Rook.
if we begin sirst, it is only by way of prevention ! How ever, there's nothing rouses the spirit of mob, and keeps them more upon the fret, and ready, than the noise of assassinations. Then we turn this upon the government; and that these men should have offices, is a srange thing! And what is that government that employs assassmes ? Ha! ;ny boy ! we have it ! and whoever reads this Observatcr a twelve-month hence, will certainly conclude, that these Rookites did intend assassinations upon the worthy Obscr-
•vator, as surely as upon the body of W. Colepeper. And we know how to keep up the cry in the mean time, till at last all our party will have it by tradition, and believe it as certainly, as all the other stories we have told them ; and by which we have done such great things, both in
the present and past ages. -''
But hark ye, master, suppose Sir George Rook shou'd
sind some remedy at law against thee, as well as William
Colepeper, who makes him to have employ'd these assas- fines, and set them on ?
O. How can that be ? Why, man, the Judges are attack'd themselves, every one of them, the whole bench of them all together; and I lay plainly, that no fair play is to be expected, or justice done, as long as our present judges art in being. Which is quoted in the Rehearsal. N. 3. as likewise my reflections upon the lord high admiral, by name, (I am not afraid! ) and upon fine Jade victor, Sec.
And I own my self, and tell of the prosecution against me, and repeat the articles exhibited against me ; and ridicule them, and laugh at them all ; and stand upon the law of England, and good protestant juries. I'm as safe as a
The R E H E A R S A L.
75 thief 'in a mill. Forif the judges cannot sind law, or that it must not be executed (as not being seasonable, at this time, like the occafional hill) to lave themselves out ofmy lift of knaves, nor the bishops, nor the convocation, nor the of commons, nor the prince himself, nor even the : What is Sir George Rook ! that he should think to have anyjustice by law against me the Observator; who represent the whole body of the whigs and dissenters, am
employ'd, paid, and supported by /Am, in the face of /aw it self. As occafional conformity is, in despight of the corporation, and test acts. And while that stands, never sear me, countryman. It is the party must not be aV/oA- ligyd ; and that not one way more than another. No more
by affronting the Observator, or stopping his mouth, than
by bringing in again the occafional hill. Let them if they dare! w e are ready to reW. I have often proclaim'd
it. And who dare flop my trumpet ? As I fay, in the fame Observator, we are upon (Vil. 3. N. 57. ) where I am again attacking Sir George Rook, by way of extenuat
ing what I had before faid against him ; and fay, VzV «
siabVdfor giving his opinion ;
as well as another man. C. But not like another man! If any of the high- church (by which we mean all true church-men, and join
always, and in this very Observator, withjacohites and papists) shou'd fay the tenth part of what thou hast faid
against the government, and the ministry ; and name par ticular persons and chiefs of the WHic/iar/y, as f<&«« do'st
his royal highness, Sir George Rook, Sic. there would be law found out for them. And the government should disoblige us all (since that is the que) if they were not made examples of ; for we have mettle ! When the laiu was of our side, in a former revolution, Sec. we shew'd them what law was. Then Chim durst not />c#. But now the law is on their side, we bellow and £b//ii And ifiA&gi offer to take notice; we tell them, we'll be a»- gry, and, that if we are disoblig'd, it shall be worse for
forthatitisfzWofwar/ and, my boy, we carry it! the more insolent, we shall be the better u/d! for Ez '%
Aer*/ I æ
certainly
have liberty
ofspeech,
The REHEARSAL.
76
they are asraid of us! Then bullying is the uuord! » must not be disobligd; and they cannot be pro•vaiti
Or, if they are, it is no matter. They arefriends to
therefore the government may make ooi with them, and disoblige them, as pleases. For yot know friends will be friends still but we must gratify cut enemies himpostible to friend: But is the thing in the world to gain an enemy! especially such eat- ndes as we are! who never yet/sz/fVan opportunity toes- press our gratitude to those who have been most indulges to us. As evident in all the reigns since Q_Elixabttk Who was so fearful or cautious as not to trust (surged ttature and therefore had nothing but sew ill wm from us with hearty endeavours to have done more would have let us. But she watch'd our waters, and would trust none of us. And we had livd under such goal management till new, we had all been dead bo years ago!
From &slt. Oct. at, to&at. Oct. 28, 1704. N° 13.
Observator'o preparationfor his trial. The argument
of the whigs, that they must not disoblig'd, because the money they have in the public funds. The Obferva- tor's religion. And greatness his church.
G? «». TT N my Observator next before the meeting of this fijsion of parliament, last Saturday, 03<A.
gave notice, that my Obfervator should come out three times week. And told, that had notice of my trial to be on the fourth of November next, for writing these fame Ob/ervators. This shews how Tittle value
the prosecution of the government, which have bully
and must still continue to bully. That the wtrdgiven me. That thesecurity of our party, and their strength. -Without this, we could not make our selves mfiderahk,
nor terrify! Have notice then of roy trials' Jit" m fame time tell them, that am far from giving over my Observators, for which they prosecute me, that now they shall have more of them than ever they had. And
for
government
I so
a
!
I
is I
a
I d;
if
if jit
21
,IJ[ ;; Iit Iisa is;
I of k be
it it
if
tta
The REHEARSAL.
77
for their notice of my trial, I give them notice, that my
Observator shall henceforth come out every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. And for what end ? That the People may know for what 1 am tryd! And I fay, they aught to know. Here I bully the government again, and ,my judges! Let them look to have aspea I'd before hand to the people and arraign the judgment of the* court (if mould pass against me) to all the mob in En
gland, who will take their account of my trial, from what have already represented to them . new method not
before known in England; and permitted, may be come a precedent of no small consequence. As the like
method! have taken in discovering the abuses, as
in the admiralty, navy, &c. by blazoning them in my weekly hbes-s, and complaining that can get Aojustice. Whereby prejudice the mob against the government all ©ver the nation. As Absalom stole the hearts of the people, not by accusing David, but faying, there none put ed
the king to do justice. This still resects upon him. - And no government can that will suffer its admini- tration to? be pubaickly lampoon must unavoid ably alienate the hearts of the people and renders the government contemptible! for this end we do it. And now shall have trial of skill, whether
we can do or not. It not my cause only, but
of oar mighty God legion who must not be disoblig'd, and therefore must prevail! whose power consists in his grin, and making himself formidable. And who
ever are frighted at him, he devours them
one exception. ) And whoever resists him, he pies from them. Witness Q^Bess, whom we curs'd all her lise; and have her memory in detestation to this day. And wit ness K. Charles II. after the Oxfordparliament when he made us all scamper, and run like serpents into our boles
no other force than supporting the lavss, and not suffering us to trample upon them, and out-brave them, as we do now maintaining the cerporatien and test aBt in their vigour, and not letting them be explain'd
away in z. senfdefs and hypocritical occasional conformity. Thi*.
pretend,
(without
E 3
if
it, dI
! by
it
by
of
I
I
it
by
;
is a
it
;
;
I is d
;
It
is
A
d.
I
!
78
The REHEARSAL.
This brought us so/sw, that even in xealous Scotland,
there was not, at his death, (which happen'd soon after)
one presbyterian publick meeting, but what dropped of it self ; and all came to church, when they faw there was
nothing to be got by staying out of it ! but his brother K. Jamee II. set us up again ; and what he got by it is well known.
We were all as much down, and as much dispirited as ever, upon the death of our lateglorious K as thou did'st remind me in thy Rehearsal, N. 5. And if we had been let alone, we should have been as quiet as a mouse in
a cheese.
But now that we are valud and confider'd, we are
And will have t'other touch for it !
I tell thee, countryman, they dare notdisoblige us, out
party having so much money in the hank and publick funds. C. They have us the faster for that, man ; for tho' we befalse to every thing else, we never will be to our interest ! It has been the policy of several kings to run in debt to their subjects, on purpose to keep them fast to their interest. And several church-men being deep in the
funds in the last reign, was the greatest security our good K. had of them. . * O. That was an unlucky thought in thee, which may be improv'd. Be sure thou fay not a word of it to any purlicment men ; it will turn the strongest argument we
navefor us, to be quite against us.
But hast thou obierv'd what I bid thee to get me, all
the libels that have been printed fence her majesty's accession to the throne, against her majesty's title, against the Ha-
confiderable again.
UOVir succession, in favour of Perkin, and against the
liberties, all which I may have them ready at my trial.
English
have
answer
that
C. All that thou hast answer d> Which are those thou ought'st to know them best. never heard of one of them. Or of any answer ever thou gav'st, except
calling rogue and rascal, and Bellarmin thou ft.
But have already minded thee of monstrous and Jenfeless libel, which have answer d; and struck the
I
I
a
I
If
'd,
?
I
bouse
who are the
of the liberties of I
The REHEARSAL.
79 vile v arlet dumb, that he dare not reply a word ; and
it may do thee confiderable service at thy trial. It is
the most impudent and ungrateful of vchigs, who endea- vour'd to murtber, and has, what in him lay, murder d
the memory of the who had put the greatest obligations upon him of any in the world, fav'd him from hanging,
which he richly deserv'd, and from a whipping, which he thought more grievous. It is the famous Observator— The very fame — alias Bays, alias Nobbs, alias Tutchin, alias Alias. Now look into my Rehearsal N. 2 and 3.
