I should not have a doubt of it were she
slighted
for any other woman in
the world than her own mother.
the world than her own mother.
Austen - Lady Susan
I was in such a fright I
could hardly breathe. My dear aunt, you do not know how miserable I
have been. " "Frederica" said I, "you ought to have told me all your
distresses. You would have found in me a friend always ready to assist
you. Do you think that your uncle or I should not have espoused your
cause as warmly as my brother? " "Indeed, I did not doubt your kindness,"
said she, colouring again, "but I thought Mr. De Courcy could do
anything with my mother; but I was mistaken: they have had a dreadful
quarrel about it, and he is going away. Mamma will never forgive me,
and I shall be worse off than ever. " "No, you shall not," I replied;
"in such a point as this your mother's prohibition ought not to have
prevented your speaking to me on the subject. She has no right to
make you unhappy, and she shall NOT do it. Your applying, however, to
Reginald can be productive only of good to all parties. I believe it
is best as it is. Depend upon it that you shall not be made unhappy any
longer. " At that moment how great was my astonishment at seeing Reginald
come out of Lady Susan's dressing-room. My heart misgave me instantly.
His confusion at seeing me was very evident. Frederica immediately
disappeared. "Are you going? " I said; "you will find Mr. Vernon in his
own room. " "No, Catherine," he replied, "I am not going. Will you let
me speak to you a moment? " We went into my room. "I find," he continued,
his confusion increasing as he spoke, "that I have been acting with my
usual foolish impetuosity. I have entirely misunderstood Lady Susan, and
was on the point of leaving the house under a false impression of
her conduct. There has been some very great mistake; we have been all
mistaken, I fancy. Frederica does not know her mother. Lady Susan means
nothing but her good, but she will not make a friend of her. Lady Susan
does not always know, therefore, what will make her daughter happy.
Besides, I could have no right to interfere. Miss Vernon was mistaken in
applying to me. In short, Catherine, everything has gone wrong, but it
is now all happily settled. Lady Susan, I believe, wishes to speak to
you about it, if you are at leisure. " "Certainly," I replied, deeply
sighing at the recital of so lame a story. I made no comments, however,
for words would have been vain.
Reginald was glad to get away, and I went to Lady Susan, curious,
indeed, to hear her account of it. "Did I not tell you," said she with
a smile, "that your brother would not leave us after all? " "You did,
indeed," replied I very gravely; "but I flattered myself you would be
mistaken. " "I should not have hazarded such an opinion," returned she,
"if it had not at that moment occurred to me that his resolution of
going might be occasioned by a conversation in which we had been this
morning engaged, and which had ended very much to his dissatisfaction,
from our not rightly understanding each other's meaning. This idea
struck me at the moment, and I instantly determined that an accidental
dispute, in which I might probably be as much to blame as himself,
should not deprive you of your brother. If you remember, I left the room
almost immediately. I was resolved to lose no time in clearing up those
mistakes as far as I could. The case was this--Frederica had set herself
violently against marrying Sir James. " "And can your ladyship wonder
that she should? " cried I with some warmth; "Frederica has an excellent
understanding, and Sir James has none. " "I am at least very far from
regretting it, my dear sister," said she; "on the contrary, I am
grateful for so favourable a sign of my daughter's sense. Sir James is
certainly below par (his boyish manners make him appear worse); and had
Frederica possessed the penetration and the abilities which I could have
wished in my daughter, or had I even known her to possess as much as she
does, I should not have been anxious for the match. " "It is odd that
you should alone be ignorant of your daughter's sense! " "Frederica never
does justice to herself; her manners are shy and childish, and besides
she is afraid of me. During her poor father's life she was a spoilt
child; the severity which it has since been necessary for me to show
has alienated her affection; neither has she any of that brilliancy
of intellect, that genius or vigour of mind which will force itself
forward. " "Say rather that she has been unfortunate in her education! "
"Heaven knows, my dearest Mrs. Vernon, how fully I am aware of that; but
I would wish to forget every circumstance that might throw blame on the
memory of one whose name is sacred with me. " Here she pretended to cry;
I was out of patience with her. "But what," said I, "was your ladyship
going to tell me about your disagreement with my brother? " "It
originated in an action of my daughter's, which equally marks her want
of judgment and the unfortunate dread of me I have been mentioning--she
wrote to Mr. De Courcy. " "I know she did; you had forbidden her speaking
to Mr. Vernon or to me on the cause of her distress; what could she do,
therefore, but apply to my brother? " "Good God! " she exclaimed, "what an
opinion you must have of me! Can you possibly suppose that I was
aware of her unhappiness! that it was my object to make my own child
miserable, and that I had forbidden her speaking to you on the subject
from a fear of your interrupting the diabolical scheme? Do you think
me destitute of every honest, every natural feeling? Am I capable of
consigning HER to everlasting misery whose welfare it is my first
earthly duty to promote? The idea is horrible! " "What, then, was your
intention when you insisted on her silence? " "Of what use, my dear
sister, could be any application to you, however the affair might stand?
Why should I subject you to entreaties which I refused to attend to
myself? Neither for your sake nor for hers, nor for my own, could such
a thing be desirable. When my own resolution was taken I could not
wish for the interference, however friendly, of another person. I was
mistaken, it is true, but I believed myself right. " "But what was this
mistake to which your ladyship so often alludes! from whence arose so
astonishing a misconception of your daughter's feelings! Did you not
know that she disliked Sir James? " "I knew that he was not absolutely
the man she would have chosen, but I was persuaded that her objections
to him did not arise from any perception of his deficiency. You must
not question me, however, my dear sister, too minutely on this point,"
continued she, taking me affectionately by the hand; "I honestly own
that there is something to conceal. Frederica makes me very unhappy! Her
applying to Mr. De Courcy hurt me particularly. " "What is it you mean
to infer," said I, "by this appearance of mystery? If you think your
daughter at all attached to Reginald, her objecting to Sir James could
not less deserve to be attended to than if the cause of her objecting
had been a consciousness of his folly; and why should your ladyship,
at any rate, quarrel with my brother for an interference which, you must
know, it is not in his nature to refuse when urged in such a manner? "
"His disposition, you know, is warm, and he came to expostulate with
me; his compassion all alive for this ill-used girl, this heroine in
distress! We misunderstood each other: he believed me more to blame than
I really was; I considered his interference less excusable than I
now find it. I have a real regard for him, and was beyond expression
mortified to find it, as I thought, so ill bestowed. We were both warm,
and of course both to blame. His resolution of leaving Churchhill is
consistent with his general eagerness. When I understood his intention,
however, and at the same time began to think that we had been perhaps
equally mistaken in each other's meaning, I resolved to have an
explanation before it was too late. For any member of your family I must
always feel a degree of affection, and I own it would have sensibly hurt
me if my acquaintance with Mr. De Courcy had ended so gloomily. I have
now only to say further, that as I am convinced of Frederica's having
a reasonable dislike to Sir James, I shall instantly inform him that he
must give up all hope of her. I reproach myself for having, even though
innocently, made her unhappy on that score. She shall have all the
retribution in my power to make; if she value her own happiness as much
as I do, if she judge wisely, and command herself as she ought, she may
now be easy. Excuse me, my dearest sister, for thus trespassing on your
time, but I owe it to my own character; and after this explanation I
trust I am in no danger of sinking in your opinion. " I could have
said, "Not much, indeed! " but I left her almost in silence. It was
the greatest stretch of forbearance I could practise. I could not have
stopped myself had I begun. Her assurance! her deceit! but I will not
allow myself to dwell on them; they will strike you sufficiently. My
heart sickens within me. As soon as I was tolerably composed I returned
to the parlour. Sir James's carriage was at the door, and he, merry
as usual, soon afterwards took his leave. How easily does her ladyship
encourage or dismiss a lover! In spite of this release, Frederica still
looks unhappy: still fearful, perhaps, of her mother's anger; and though
dreading my brother's departure, jealous, it may be, of his staying. I
see how closely she observes him and Lady Susan, poor girl! I have now
no hope for her. There is not a chance of her affection being returned.
He thinks very differently of her from what he used to do; he does her
some justice, but his reconciliation with her mother precludes every
dearer hope. Prepare, my dear mother, for the worst! The probability of
their marrying is surely heightened! He is more securely hers than ever.
When that wretched event takes place, Frederica must belong wholly to
us. I am thankful that my last letter will precede this by so little, as
every moment that you can be saved from feeling a joy which leads only
to disappointment is of consequence.
Yours ever, &c. ,
CATHERINE VERNON.
XXV
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Churchhill.
I call on you, dear Alicia, for congratulations: I am my own self, gay
and triumphant! When I wrote to you the other day I was, in truth, in
high irritation, and with ample cause. Nay, I know not whether I ought
to be quite tranquil now, for I have had more trouble in restoring
peace than I ever intended to submit to--a spirit, too, resulting from
a fancied sense of superior integrity, which is peculiarly insolent! I
shall not easily forgive him, I assure you. He was actually on the point
of leaving Churchhill! I had scarcely concluded my last, when Wilson
brought me word of it. I found, therefore, that something must be done;
for I did not choose to leave my character at the mercy of a man whose
passions are so violent and so revengeful. It would have been trifling
with my reputation to allow of his departing with such an impression in
my disfavour; in this light, condescension was necessary. I sent
Wilson to say that I desired to speak with him before he went; he came
immediately. The angry emotions which had marked every feature when we
last parted were partially subdued. He seemed astonished at the summons,
and looked as if half wishing and half fearing to be softened by what I
might say. If my countenance expressed what I aimed at, it was composed
and dignified; and yet, with a degree of pensiveness which might
convince him that I was not quite happy. "I beg your pardon, sir, for
the liberty I have taken in sending for you," said I; "but as I have
just learnt your intention of leaving this place to-day, I feel it my
duty to entreat that you will not on my account shorten your visit here
even an hour. I am perfectly aware that after what has passed between
us it would ill suit the feelings of either to remain longer in the same
house: so very great, so total a change from the intimacy of friendship
must render any future intercourse the severest punishment; and your
resolution of quitting Churchhill is undoubtedly in unison with our
situation, and with those lively feelings which I know you to possess.
But, at the same time, it is not for me to suffer such a sacrifice as it
must be to leave relations to whom you are so much attached, and are so
dear. My remaining here cannot give that pleasure to Mr. and Mrs. Vernon
which your society must; and my visit has already perhaps been too long.
My removal, therefore, which must, at any rate, take place soon, may,
with perfect convenience, be hastened; and I make it my particular
request that I may not in any way be instrumental in separating a
family so affectionately attached to each other. Where I go is of
no consequence to anyone; of very little to myself; but you are of
importance to all your connections. " Here I concluded, and I hope you
will be satisfied with my speech. Its effect on Reginald justifies some
portion of vanity, for it was no less favourable than instantaneous. Oh,
how delightful it was to watch the variations of his countenance while I
spoke! to see the struggle between returning tenderness and the remains
of displeasure. There is something agreeable in feelings so easily
worked on; not that I envy him their possession, nor would, for the
world, have such myself; but they are very convenient when one wishes
to influence the passions of another. And yet this Reginald, whom a
very few words from me softened at once into the utmost submission, and
rendered more tractable, more attached, more devoted than ever, would
have left me in the first angry swelling of his proud heart without
deigning to seek an explanation. Humbled as he now is, I cannot forgive
him such an instance of pride, and am doubtful whether I ought not to
punish him by dismissing him at once after this reconciliation, or
by marrying and teazing him for ever. But these measures are each too
violent to be adopted without some deliberation; at present my thoughts
are fluctuating between various schemes. I have many things to compass:
I must punish Frederica, and pretty severely too, for her application to
Reginald; I must punish him for receiving it so favourably, and for the
rest of his conduct. I must torment my sister-in-law for the insolent
triumph of her look and manner since Sir James has been dismissed; for,
in reconciling Reginald to me, I was not able to save that ill-fated
young man; and I must make myself amends for the humiliation to which
I have stooped within these few days. To effect all this I have various
plans. I have also an idea of being soon in town; and whatever may be
my determination as to the rest, I shall probably put THAT project
in execution; for London will be always the fairest field of action,
however my views may be directed; and at any rate I shall there be
rewarded by your society, and a little dissipation, for a ten weeks'
penance at Churchhill. I believe I owe it to my character to complete
the match between my daughter and Sir James after having so long
intended it. Let me know your opinion on this point. Flexibility of
mind, a disposition easily biassed by others, is an attribute which you
know I am not very desirous of obtaining; nor has Frederica any claim
to the indulgence of her notions at the expense of her mother's
inclinations. Her idle love for Reginald, too! It is surely my duty to
discourage such romantic nonsense. All things considered, therefore, it
seems incumbent on me to take her to town and marry her immediately to
Sir James. When my own will is effected contrary to his, I shall have
some credit in being on good terms with Reginald, which at present, in
fact, I have not; for though he is still in my power, I have given up
the very article by which our quarrel was produced, and at best the
honour of victory is doubtful. Send me your opinion on all these
matters, my dear Alicia, and let me know whether you can get lodgings to
suit me within a short distance of you.
Your most attached
S. VERNON.
XXVI
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
I am gratified by your reference, and this is my advice: that you come
to town yourself, without loss of time, but that you leave Frederica
behind. It would surely be much more to the purpose to get yourself well
established by marrying Mr. De Courcy, than to irritate him and the rest
of his family by making her marry Sir James. You should think more of
yourself and less of your daughter. She is not of a disposition to do
you credit in the world, and seems precisely in her proper place at
Churchhill, with the Vernons. But you are fitted for society, and it
is shameful to have you exiled from it. Leave Frederica, therefore,
to punish herself for the plague she has given you, by indulging that
romantic tender-heartedness which will always ensure her misery enough,
and come to London as soon as you can. I have another reason for urging
this: Mainwaring came to town last week, and has contrived, in spite
of Mr. Johnson, to make opportunities of seeing me. He is absolutely
miserable about you, and jealous to such a degree of De Courcy that it
would be highly unadvisable for them to meet at present. And yet, if you
do not allow him to see you here, I cannot answer for his not committing
some great imprudence--such as going to Churchhill, for instance, which
would be dreadful! Besides, if you take my advice, and resolve to marry
De Courcy, it will be indispensably necessary to you to get Mainwaring
out of the way; and you only can have influence enough to send him back
to his wife. I have still another motive for your coming: Mr. Johnson
leaves London next Tuesday; he is going for his health to Bath, where,
if the waters are favourable to his constitution and my wishes, he will
be laid up with the gout many weeks. During his absence we shall be able
to chuse our own society, and to have true enjoyment. I would ask you to
Edward Street, but that once he forced from me a kind of promise never
to invite you to my house; nothing but my being in the utmost distress
for money should have extorted it from me. I can get you, however,
a nice drawing-room apartment in Upper Seymour Street, and we may be
always together there or here; for I consider my promise to Mr. Johnson
as comprehending only (at least in his absence) your not sleeping in the
house. Poor Mainwaring gives me such histories of his wife's jealousy.
Silly woman to expect constancy from so charming a man! but she always
was silly--intolerably so in marrying him at all, she the heiress of a
large fortune and he without a shilling: one title, I know, she might
have had, besides baronets. Her folly in forming the connection was so
great that, though Mr. Johnson was her guardian, and I do not in general
share HIS feelings, I never can forgive her.
Adieu. Yours ever,
ALICIA.
XXVII
MRS. VERNON TO LADY DE COURCY
Churchhill.
This letter, my dear Mother, will be brought you by Reginald. His long
visit is about to be concluded at last, but I fear the separation takes
place too late to do us any good. She is going to London to see her
particular friend, Mrs. Johnson. It was at first her intention that
Frederica should accompany her, for the benefit of masters, but we
overruled her there. Frederica was wretched in the idea of going, and
I could not bear to have her at the mercy of her mother; not all the
masters in London could compensate for the ruin of her comfort. I
should have feared, too, for her health, and for everything but her
principles--there I believe she is not to be injured by her mother, or
her mother's friends; but with those friends she must have mixed (a very
bad set, I doubt not), or have been left in total solitude, and I can
hardly tell which would have been worse for her. If she is with her
mother, moreover, she must, alas! in all probability be with Reginald,
and that would be the greatest evil of all. Here we shall in time be in
peace, and our regular employments, our books and conversations, with
exercise, the children, and every domestic pleasure in my power to
procure her, will, I trust, gradually overcome this youthful attachment.
I should not have a doubt of it were she slighted for any other woman in
the world than her own mother. How long Lady Susan will be in town, or
whether she returns here again, I know not. I could not be cordial in my
invitation, but if she chuses to come no want of cordiality on my part
will keep her away. I could not help asking Reginald if he intended
being in London this winter, as soon as I found her ladyship's
steps would be bent thither; and though he professed himself quite
undetermined, there was something in his look and voice as he spoke
which contradicted his words. I have done with lamentation; I look upon
the event as so far decided that I resign myself to it in despair. If he
leaves you soon for London everything will be concluded.
Your affectionate, &c. ,
C. VERNON.
XXVIII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
My dearest Friend,--I write in the greatest distress; the most
unfortunate event has just taken place. Mr. Johnson has hit on the most
effectual manner of plaguing us all. He had heard, I imagine, by some
means or other, that you were soon to be in London, and immediately
contrived to have such an attack of the gout as must at least delay his
journey to Bath, if not wholly prevent it. I am persuaded the gout is
brought on or kept off at pleasure; it was the same when I wanted to
join the Hamiltons to the Lakes; and three years ago, when I had a fancy
for Bath, nothing could induce him to have a gouty symptom.
I am pleased to find that my letter had so much effect on you, and that
De Courcy is certainly your own. Let me hear from you as soon as you
arrive, and in particular tell me what you mean to do with Mainwaring.
It is impossible to say when I shall be able to come to you; my
confinement must be great. It is such an abominable trick to be ill here
instead of at Bath that I can scarcely command myself at all. At Bath
his old aunts would have nursed him, but here it all falls upon me; and
he bears pain with such patience that I have not the common excuse for
losing my temper.
Yours ever,
ALICIA.
XXIX
LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Alicia,--There needed not this last fit of the gout to make
me detest Mr. Johnson, but now the extent of my aversion is not to
be estimated. To have you confined as nurse in his apartment! My dear
Alicia, of what a mistake were you guilty in marrying a man of his age!
just old enough to be formal, ungovernable, and to have the gout; too
old to be agreeable, too young to die. I arrived last night about five,
had scarcely swallowed my dinner when Mainwaring made his appearance.
I will not dissemble what real pleasure his sight afforded me, nor how
strongly I felt the contrast between his person and manners and those of
Reginald, to the infinite disadvantage of the latter. For an hour or two
I was even staggered in my resolution of marrying him, and though this
was too idle and nonsensical an idea to remain long on my mind, I do not
feel very eager for the conclusion of my marriage, nor look forward with
much impatience to the time when Reginald, according to our agreement,
is to be in town. I shall probably put off his arrival under some
pretence or other. He must not come till Mainwaring is gone. I am still
doubtful at times as to marrying; if the old man would die I might not
hesitate, but a state of dependance on the caprice of Sir Reginald will
not suit the freedom of my spirit; and if I resolve to wait for that
event, I shall have excuse enough at present in having been scarcely ten
months a widow. I have not given Mainwaring any hint of my intention, or
allowed him to consider my acquaintance with Reginald as more than the
commonest flirtation, and he is tolerably appeased. Adieu, till we meet;
I am enchanted with my lodgings.
Yours ever,
S. VERNON.
XXX
LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I have received your letter, and though I do not attempt to conceal that
I am gratified by your impatience for the hour of meeting, I yet
feel myself under the necessity of delaying that hour beyond the time
originally fixed. Do not think me unkind for such an exercise of my
power, nor accuse me of instability without first hearing my reasons.
In the course of my journey from Churchhill I had ample leisure for
reflection on the present state of our affairs, and every review has
served to convince me that they require a delicacy and cautiousness of
conduct to which we have hitherto been too little attentive. We have
been hurried on by our feelings to a degree of precipitation which ill
accords with the claims of our friends or the opinion of the world. We
have been unguarded in forming this hasty engagement, but we must not
complete the imprudence by ratifying it while there is so much reason
to fear the connection would be opposed by those friends on whom you
depend. It is not for us to blame any expectations on your father's side
of your marrying to advantage; where possessions are so extensive as
those of your family, the wish of increasing them, if not strictly
reasonable, is too common to excite surprize or resentment. He has a
right to require; a woman of fortune in his daughter-in-law, and I am
sometimes quarrelling with myself for suffering you to form a connection
so imprudent; but the influence of reason is often acknowledged too late
by those who feel like me. I have now been but a few months a widow,
and, however little indebted to my husband's memory for any happiness
derived from him during a union of some years, I cannot forget that the
indelicacy of so early a second marriage must subject me to the censure
of the world, and incur, what would be still more insupportable, the
displeasure of Mr. Vernon. I might perhaps harden myself in time against
the injustice of general reproach, but the loss of HIS valued esteem
I am, as you well know, ill-fitted to endure; and when to this may be
added the consciousness of having injured you with your family, how am I
to support myself? With feelings so poignant as mine, the conviction of
having divided the son from his parents would make me, even with you,
the most miserable of beings. It will surely, therefore, be advisable to
delay our union--to delay it till appearances are more promising--till
affairs have taken a more favourable turn. To assist us in such a
resolution I feel that absence will be necessary. We must not meet.
Cruel as this sentence may appear, the necessity of pronouncing it,
which can alone reconcile it to myself, will be evident to you when you
have considered our situation in the light in which I have found myself
imperiously obliged to place it. You may be--you must be--well assured
that nothing but the strongest conviction of duty could induce me
to wound my own feelings by urging a lengthened separation, and of
insensibility to yours you will hardly suspect me. Again, therefore,
I say that we ought not, we must not, yet meet. By a removal for some
months from each other we shall tranquillise the sisterly fears of Mrs.
Vernon, who, accustomed herself to the enjoyment of riches, considers
fortune as necessary everywhere, and whose sensibilities are not of a
nature to comprehend ours. Let me hear from you soon--very soon. Tell me
that you submit to my arguments, and do not reproach me for using such.
I cannot bear reproaches: my spirits are not so high as to need being
repressed. I must endeavour to seek amusement, and fortunately many
of my friends are in town; amongst them the Mainwarings; you know how
sincerely I regard both husband and wife.
I am, very faithfully yours,
S. VERNON
XXXI
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Friend,--That tormenting creature, Reginald, is here. My letter,
which was intended to keep him longer in the country, has hastened him
to town. Much as I wish him away, however, I cannot help being pleased
with such a proof of attachment. He is devoted to me, heart and soul.
He will carry this note himself, which is to serve as an introduction to
you, with whom he longs to be acquainted. Allow him to spend the evening
with you, that I may be in no danger of his returning here. I have told
him that I am not quite well, and must be alone; and should he call
again there might be confusion, for it is impossible to be sure of
servants. Keep him, therefore, I entreat you, in Edward Street. You will
not find him a heavy companion, and I allow you to flirt with him as
much as you like. At the same time, do not forget my real interest; say
all that you can to convince him that I shall be quite wretched if he
remains here; you know my reasons--propriety, and so forth. I would
urge them more myself, but that I am impatient to be rid of him, as
Mainwaring comes within half an hour. Adieu!
S VERNON
XXXII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
My dear Creature,--I am in agonies, and know not what to do. Mr. De
Courcy arrived just when he should not. Mrs. Mainwaring had that instant
entered the house, and forced herself into her guardian's presence,
though I did not know a syllable of it till afterwards, for I was out
when both she and Reginald came, or I should have sent him away at all
events; but she was shut up with Mr. Johnson, while he waited in the
drawing-room for me. She arrived yesterday in pursuit of her husband,
but perhaps you know this already from himself. She came to this house
to entreat my husband's interference, and before I could be aware of
it, everything that you could wish to be concealed was known to him, and
unluckily she had wormed out of Mainwaring's servant that he had visited
you every day since your being in town, and had just watched him to your
door herself! What could I do! Facts are such horrid things! All is by
this time known to De Courcy, who is now alone with Mr. Johnson. Do not
accuse me; indeed, it was impossible to prevent it. Mr. Johnson has for
some time suspected De Courcy of intending to marry you, and would
speak with him alone as soon as he knew him to be in the house. That
detestable Mrs. Mainwaring, who, for your comfort, has fretted herself
thinner and uglier than ever, is still here, and they have been all
closeted together. What can be done? At any rate, I hope he will plague
his wife more than ever. With anxious wishes, Yours faithfully,
ALICIA.
XXXIII
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
This eclaircissement is rather provoking. How unlucky that you should
have been from home! I thought myself sure of you at seven! I am
undismayed however. Do not torment yourself with fears on my account;
depend on it, I can make my story good with Reginald. Mainwaring is just
gone; he brought me the news of his wife's arrival. Silly woman, what
does she expect by such manoeuvres? Yet I wish she had stayed quietly
at Langford. Reginald will be a little enraged at first, but by
to-morrow's dinner, everything will be well again.
Adieu!
S. V.
XXXIV
MR. DE COURCY TO LADY SUSAN
--Hotel
I write only to bid you farewell, the spell is removed; I see you as
you are. Since we parted yesterday, I have received from indisputable
authority such a history of you as must bring the most mortifying
conviction of the imposition I have been under, and the absolute
necessity of an immediate and eternal separation from you. You
cannot doubt to what I allude. Langford! Langford! that word will be
sufficient. I received my information in Mr. Johnson's house, from Mrs.
Mainwaring herself. You know how I have loved you; you can intimately
judge of my present feelings, but I am not so weak as to find indulgence
in describing them to a woman who will glory in having excited their
anguish, but whose affection they have never been able to gain.
R. DE COURCY.
XXXV
LADY SUSAN TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I will not attempt to describe my astonishment in reading the note this
moment received from you. I am bewildered in my endeavours to form
some rational conjecture of what Mrs. Mainwaring can have told you
to occasion so extraordinary a change in your sentiments. Have I not
explained everything to you with respect to myself which could bear a
doubtful meaning, and which the ill-nature of the world had interpreted
to my discredit? What can you now have heard to stagger your esteem for
me? Have I ever had a concealment from you? Reginald, you agitate
me beyond expression, I cannot suppose that the old story of Mrs.
Mainwaring's jealousy can be revived again, or at least be LISTENED to
again. Come to me immediately, and explain what is at present absolutely
incomprehensible. Believe me the single word of Langford is not of such
potent intelligence as to supersede the necessity of more. If we ARE to
part, it will at least be handsome to take your personal leave--but
I have little heart to jest; in truth, I am serious enough; for to be
sunk, though but for an hour, in your esteem is a humiliation to which I
know not how to submit. I shall count every minute till your arrival.
S. V.
XXXVI
MR. DE COURCY TO LADY SUSAN
----Hotel.
Why would you write to me? Why do you require particulars? But, since
it must be so, I am obliged to declare that all the accounts of your
misconduct during the life, and since the death of Mr. Vernon, which had
reached me, in common with the world in general, and gained my entire
belief before I saw you, but which you, by the exertion of your
perverted abilities, had made me resolved to disallow, have been
unanswerably proved to me; nay more, I am assured that a connection,
of which I had never before entertained a thought, has for some time
existed, and still continues to exist, between you and the man whose
family you robbed of its peace in return for the hospitality with which
you were received into it; that you have corresponded with him ever
since your leaving Langford; not with his wife, but with him, and that
he now visits you every day. Can you, dare you deny it? and all this at
the time when I was an encouraged, an accepted lover! From what have I
not escaped! I have only to be grateful. Far from me be all complaint,
every sigh of regret. My own folly had endangered me, my preservation I
owe to the kindness, the integrity of another; but the unfortunate Mrs.
Mainwaring, whose agonies while she related the past seemed to threaten
her reason, how is SHE to be consoled! After such a discovery as this,
you will scarcely affect further wonder at my meaning in bidding you
adieu. My understanding is at length restored, and teaches no less to
abhor the artifices which had subdued me than to despise myself for the
weakness on which their strength was founded.
R. DE COURCY.
XXXVII
LADY SUSAN TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I am satisfied, and will trouble you no more when these few lines are
dismissed. The engagement which you were eager to form a fortnight ago
is no longer compatible with your views, and I rejoice to find that
the prudent advice of your parents has not been given in vain. Your
restoration to peace will, I doubt not, speedily follow this act of
filial obedience, and I flatter myself with the hope of surviving my
share in this disappointment.
S. V.
XXXVIII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN VERNON
Edward Street
I am grieved, though I cannot be astonished at your rupture with Mr.
De Courcy; he has just informed Mr. Johnson of it by letter. He leaves
London, he says, to-day. Be assured that I partake in all your feelings,
and do not be angry if I say that our intercourse, even by letter, must
soon be given up. It makes me miserable; but Mr. Johnson vows that if I
persist in the connection, he will settle in the country for the rest of
his life, and you know it is impossible to submit to such an extremity
while any other alternative remains. You have heard of course that the
Mainwarings are to part, and I am afraid Mrs. M. will come home to us
again; but she is still so fond of her husband, and frets so much about
him, that perhaps she may not live long. Miss Mainwaring is just come to
town to be with her aunt, and they say that she declares she will have
Sir James Martin before she leaves London again. If I were you, I would
certainly get him myself. I had almost forgot to give you my opinion of
Mr. De Courcy; I am really delighted with him; he is full as handsome, I
think, as Mainwaring, and with such an open, good-humoured countenance,
that one cannot help loving him at first sight. Mr. Johnson and he
are the greatest friends in the world. Adieu, my dearest Susan, I wish
matters did not go so perversely. That unlucky visit to Langford! but I
dare say you did all for the best, and there is no defying destiny.
Your sincerely attached
ALICIA.
XXXIX
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Alicia,--I yield to the necessity which parts us. Under
circumstances you could not act otherwise. Our friendship cannot
be impaired by it, and in happier times, when your situation is as
independent as mine, it will unite us again in the same intimacy as
ever. For this I shall impatiently wait, and meanwhile can safely assure
you that I never was more at ease, or better satisfied with myself and
everything about me than at the present hour. Your husband I abhor,
Reginald I despise, and I am secure of never seeing either again. Have
I not reason to rejoice? Mainwaring is more devoted to me than ever; and
were we at liberty, I doubt if I could resist even matrimony offered by
HIM. This event, if his wife live with you, it may be in your power to
hasten. The violence of her feelings, which must wear her out, may be
easily kept in irritation. I rely on your friendship for this.
could hardly breathe. My dear aunt, you do not know how miserable I
have been. " "Frederica" said I, "you ought to have told me all your
distresses. You would have found in me a friend always ready to assist
you. Do you think that your uncle or I should not have espoused your
cause as warmly as my brother? " "Indeed, I did not doubt your kindness,"
said she, colouring again, "but I thought Mr. De Courcy could do
anything with my mother; but I was mistaken: they have had a dreadful
quarrel about it, and he is going away. Mamma will never forgive me,
and I shall be worse off than ever. " "No, you shall not," I replied;
"in such a point as this your mother's prohibition ought not to have
prevented your speaking to me on the subject. She has no right to
make you unhappy, and she shall NOT do it. Your applying, however, to
Reginald can be productive only of good to all parties. I believe it
is best as it is. Depend upon it that you shall not be made unhappy any
longer. " At that moment how great was my astonishment at seeing Reginald
come out of Lady Susan's dressing-room. My heart misgave me instantly.
His confusion at seeing me was very evident. Frederica immediately
disappeared. "Are you going? " I said; "you will find Mr. Vernon in his
own room. " "No, Catherine," he replied, "I am not going. Will you let
me speak to you a moment? " We went into my room. "I find," he continued,
his confusion increasing as he spoke, "that I have been acting with my
usual foolish impetuosity. I have entirely misunderstood Lady Susan, and
was on the point of leaving the house under a false impression of
her conduct. There has been some very great mistake; we have been all
mistaken, I fancy. Frederica does not know her mother. Lady Susan means
nothing but her good, but she will not make a friend of her. Lady Susan
does not always know, therefore, what will make her daughter happy.
Besides, I could have no right to interfere. Miss Vernon was mistaken in
applying to me. In short, Catherine, everything has gone wrong, but it
is now all happily settled. Lady Susan, I believe, wishes to speak to
you about it, if you are at leisure. " "Certainly," I replied, deeply
sighing at the recital of so lame a story. I made no comments, however,
for words would have been vain.
Reginald was glad to get away, and I went to Lady Susan, curious,
indeed, to hear her account of it. "Did I not tell you," said she with
a smile, "that your brother would not leave us after all? " "You did,
indeed," replied I very gravely; "but I flattered myself you would be
mistaken. " "I should not have hazarded such an opinion," returned she,
"if it had not at that moment occurred to me that his resolution of
going might be occasioned by a conversation in which we had been this
morning engaged, and which had ended very much to his dissatisfaction,
from our not rightly understanding each other's meaning. This idea
struck me at the moment, and I instantly determined that an accidental
dispute, in which I might probably be as much to blame as himself,
should not deprive you of your brother. If you remember, I left the room
almost immediately. I was resolved to lose no time in clearing up those
mistakes as far as I could. The case was this--Frederica had set herself
violently against marrying Sir James. " "And can your ladyship wonder
that she should? " cried I with some warmth; "Frederica has an excellent
understanding, and Sir James has none. " "I am at least very far from
regretting it, my dear sister," said she; "on the contrary, I am
grateful for so favourable a sign of my daughter's sense. Sir James is
certainly below par (his boyish manners make him appear worse); and had
Frederica possessed the penetration and the abilities which I could have
wished in my daughter, or had I even known her to possess as much as she
does, I should not have been anxious for the match. " "It is odd that
you should alone be ignorant of your daughter's sense! " "Frederica never
does justice to herself; her manners are shy and childish, and besides
she is afraid of me. During her poor father's life she was a spoilt
child; the severity which it has since been necessary for me to show
has alienated her affection; neither has she any of that brilliancy
of intellect, that genius or vigour of mind which will force itself
forward. " "Say rather that she has been unfortunate in her education! "
"Heaven knows, my dearest Mrs. Vernon, how fully I am aware of that; but
I would wish to forget every circumstance that might throw blame on the
memory of one whose name is sacred with me. " Here she pretended to cry;
I was out of patience with her. "But what," said I, "was your ladyship
going to tell me about your disagreement with my brother? " "It
originated in an action of my daughter's, which equally marks her want
of judgment and the unfortunate dread of me I have been mentioning--she
wrote to Mr. De Courcy. " "I know she did; you had forbidden her speaking
to Mr. Vernon or to me on the cause of her distress; what could she do,
therefore, but apply to my brother? " "Good God! " she exclaimed, "what an
opinion you must have of me! Can you possibly suppose that I was
aware of her unhappiness! that it was my object to make my own child
miserable, and that I had forbidden her speaking to you on the subject
from a fear of your interrupting the diabolical scheme? Do you think
me destitute of every honest, every natural feeling? Am I capable of
consigning HER to everlasting misery whose welfare it is my first
earthly duty to promote? The idea is horrible! " "What, then, was your
intention when you insisted on her silence? " "Of what use, my dear
sister, could be any application to you, however the affair might stand?
Why should I subject you to entreaties which I refused to attend to
myself? Neither for your sake nor for hers, nor for my own, could such
a thing be desirable. When my own resolution was taken I could not
wish for the interference, however friendly, of another person. I was
mistaken, it is true, but I believed myself right. " "But what was this
mistake to which your ladyship so often alludes! from whence arose so
astonishing a misconception of your daughter's feelings! Did you not
know that she disliked Sir James? " "I knew that he was not absolutely
the man she would have chosen, but I was persuaded that her objections
to him did not arise from any perception of his deficiency. You must
not question me, however, my dear sister, too minutely on this point,"
continued she, taking me affectionately by the hand; "I honestly own
that there is something to conceal. Frederica makes me very unhappy! Her
applying to Mr. De Courcy hurt me particularly. " "What is it you mean
to infer," said I, "by this appearance of mystery? If you think your
daughter at all attached to Reginald, her objecting to Sir James could
not less deserve to be attended to than if the cause of her objecting
had been a consciousness of his folly; and why should your ladyship,
at any rate, quarrel with my brother for an interference which, you must
know, it is not in his nature to refuse when urged in such a manner? "
"His disposition, you know, is warm, and he came to expostulate with
me; his compassion all alive for this ill-used girl, this heroine in
distress! We misunderstood each other: he believed me more to blame than
I really was; I considered his interference less excusable than I
now find it. I have a real regard for him, and was beyond expression
mortified to find it, as I thought, so ill bestowed. We were both warm,
and of course both to blame. His resolution of leaving Churchhill is
consistent with his general eagerness. When I understood his intention,
however, and at the same time began to think that we had been perhaps
equally mistaken in each other's meaning, I resolved to have an
explanation before it was too late. For any member of your family I must
always feel a degree of affection, and I own it would have sensibly hurt
me if my acquaintance with Mr. De Courcy had ended so gloomily. I have
now only to say further, that as I am convinced of Frederica's having
a reasonable dislike to Sir James, I shall instantly inform him that he
must give up all hope of her. I reproach myself for having, even though
innocently, made her unhappy on that score. She shall have all the
retribution in my power to make; if she value her own happiness as much
as I do, if she judge wisely, and command herself as she ought, she may
now be easy. Excuse me, my dearest sister, for thus trespassing on your
time, but I owe it to my own character; and after this explanation I
trust I am in no danger of sinking in your opinion. " I could have
said, "Not much, indeed! " but I left her almost in silence. It was
the greatest stretch of forbearance I could practise. I could not have
stopped myself had I begun. Her assurance! her deceit! but I will not
allow myself to dwell on them; they will strike you sufficiently. My
heart sickens within me. As soon as I was tolerably composed I returned
to the parlour. Sir James's carriage was at the door, and he, merry
as usual, soon afterwards took his leave. How easily does her ladyship
encourage or dismiss a lover! In spite of this release, Frederica still
looks unhappy: still fearful, perhaps, of her mother's anger; and though
dreading my brother's departure, jealous, it may be, of his staying. I
see how closely she observes him and Lady Susan, poor girl! I have now
no hope for her. There is not a chance of her affection being returned.
He thinks very differently of her from what he used to do; he does her
some justice, but his reconciliation with her mother precludes every
dearer hope. Prepare, my dear mother, for the worst! The probability of
their marrying is surely heightened! He is more securely hers than ever.
When that wretched event takes place, Frederica must belong wholly to
us. I am thankful that my last letter will precede this by so little, as
every moment that you can be saved from feeling a joy which leads only
to disappointment is of consequence.
Yours ever, &c. ,
CATHERINE VERNON.
XXV
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Churchhill.
I call on you, dear Alicia, for congratulations: I am my own self, gay
and triumphant! When I wrote to you the other day I was, in truth, in
high irritation, and with ample cause. Nay, I know not whether I ought
to be quite tranquil now, for I have had more trouble in restoring
peace than I ever intended to submit to--a spirit, too, resulting from
a fancied sense of superior integrity, which is peculiarly insolent! I
shall not easily forgive him, I assure you. He was actually on the point
of leaving Churchhill! I had scarcely concluded my last, when Wilson
brought me word of it. I found, therefore, that something must be done;
for I did not choose to leave my character at the mercy of a man whose
passions are so violent and so revengeful. It would have been trifling
with my reputation to allow of his departing with such an impression in
my disfavour; in this light, condescension was necessary. I sent
Wilson to say that I desired to speak with him before he went; he came
immediately. The angry emotions which had marked every feature when we
last parted were partially subdued. He seemed astonished at the summons,
and looked as if half wishing and half fearing to be softened by what I
might say. If my countenance expressed what I aimed at, it was composed
and dignified; and yet, with a degree of pensiveness which might
convince him that I was not quite happy. "I beg your pardon, sir, for
the liberty I have taken in sending for you," said I; "but as I have
just learnt your intention of leaving this place to-day, I feel it my
duty to entreat that you will not on my account shorten your visit here
even an hour. I am perfectly aware that after what has passed between
us it would ill suit the feelings of either to remain longer in the same
house: so very great, so total a change from the intimacy of friendship
must render any future intercourse the severest punishment; and your
resolution of quitting Churchhill is undoubtedly in unison with our
situation, and with those lively feelings which I know you to possess.
But, at the same time, it is not for me to suffer such a sacrifice as it
must be to leave relations to whom you are so much attached, and are so
dear. My remaining here cannot give that pleasure to Mr. and Mrs. Vernon
which your society must; and my visit has already perhaps been too long.
My removal, therefore, which must, at any rate, take place soon, may,
with perfect convenience, be hastened; and I make it my particular
request that I may not in any way be instrumental in separating a
family so affectionately attached to each other. Where I go is of
no consequence to anyone; of very little to myself; but you are of
importance to all your connections. " Here I concluded, and I hope you
will be satisfied with my speech. Its effect on Reginald justifies some
portion of vanity, for it was no less favourable than instantaneous. Oh,
how delightful it was to watch the variations of his countenance while I
spoke! to see the struggle between returning tenderness and the remains
of displeasure. There is something agreeable in feelings so easily
worked on; not that I envy him their possession, nor would, for the
world, have such myself; but they are very convenient when one wishes
to influence the passions of another. And yet this Reginald, whom a
very few words from me softened at once into the utmost submission, and
rendered more tractable, more attached, more devoted than ever, would
have left me in the first angry swelling of his proud heart without
deigning to seek an explanation. Humbled as he now is, I cannot forgive
him such an instance of pride, and am doubtful whether I ought not to
punish him by dismissing him at once after this reconciliation, or
by marrying and teazing him for ever. But these measures are each too
violent to be adopted without some deliberation; at present my thoughts
are fluctuating between various schemes. I have many things to compass:
I must punish Frederica, and pretty severely too, for her application to
Reginald; I must punish him for receiving it so favourably, and for the
rest of his conduct. I must torment my sister-in-law for the insolent
triumph of her look and manner since Sir James has been dismissed; for,
in reconciling Reginald to me, I was not able to save that ill-fated
young man; and I must make myself amends for the humiliation to which
I have stooped within these few days. To effect all this I have various
plans. I have also an idea of being soon in town; and whatever may be
my determination as to the rest, I shall probably put THAT project
in execution; for London will be always the fairest field of action,
however my views may be directed; and at any rate I shall there be
rewarded by your society, and a little dissipation, for a ten weeks'
penance at Churchhill. I believe I owe it to my character to complete
the match between my daughter and Sir James after having so long
intended it. Let me know your opinion on this point. Flexibility of
mind, a disposition easily biassed by others, is an attribute which you
know I am not very desirous of obtaining; nor has Frederica any claim
to the indulgence of her notions at the expense of her mother's
inclinations. Her idle love for Reginald, too! It is surely my duty to
discourage such romantic nonsense. All things considered, therefore, it
seems incumbent on me to take her to town and marry her immediately to
Sir James. When my own will is effected contrary to his, I shall have
some credit in being on good terms with Reginald, which at present, in
fact, I have not; for though he is still in my power, I have given up
the very article by which our quarrel was produced, and at best the
honour of victory is doubtful. Send me your opinion on all these
matters, my dear Alicia, and let me know whether you can get lodgings to
suit me within a short distance of you.
Your most attached
S. VERNON.
XXVI
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
I am gratified by your reference, and this is my advice: that you come
to town yourself, without loss of time, but that you leave Frederica
behind. It would surely be much more to the purpose to get yourself well
established by marrying Mr. De Courcy, than to irritate him and the rest
of his family by making her marry Sir James. You should think more of
yourself and less of your daughter. She is not of a disposition to do
you credit in the world, and seems precisely in her proper place at
Churchhill, with the Vernons. But you are fitted for society, and it
is shameful to have you exiled from it. Leave Frederica, therefore,
to punish herself for the plague she has given you, by indulging that
romantic tender-heartedness which will always ensure her misery enough,
and come to London as soon as you can. I have another reason for urging
this: Mainwaring came to town last week, and has contrived, in spite
of Mr. Johnson, to make opportunities of seeing me. He is absolutely
miserable about you, and jealous to such a degree of De Courcy that it
would be highly unadvisable for them to meet at present. And yet, if you
do not allow him to see you here, I cannot answer for his not committing
some great imprudence--such as going to Churchhill, for instance, which
would be dreadful! Besides, if you take my advice, and resolve to marry
De Courcy, it will be indispensably necessary to you to get Mainwaring
out of the way; and you only can have influence enough to send him back
to his wife. I have still another motive for your coming: Mr. Johnson
leaves London next Tuesday; he is going for his health to Bath, where,
if the waters are favourable to his constitution and my wishes, he will
be laid up with the gout many weeks. During his absence we shall be able
to chuse our own society, and to have true enjoyment. I would ask you to
Edward Street, but that once he forced from me a kind of promise never
to invite you to my house; nothing but my being in the utmost distress
for money should have extorted it from me. I can get you, however,
a nice drawing-room apartment in Upper Seymour Street, and we may be
always together there or here; for I consider my promise to Mr. Johnson
as comprehending only (at least in his absence) your not sleeping in the
house. Poor Mainwaring gives me such histories of his wife's jealousy.
Silly woman to expect constancy from so charming a man! but she always
was silly--intolerably so in marrying him at all, she the heiress of a
large fortune and he without a shilling: one title, I know, she might
have had, besides baronets. Her folly in forming the connection was so
great that, though Mr. Johnson was her guardian, and I do not in general
share HIS feelings, I never can forgive her.
Adieu. Yours ever,
ALICIA.
XXVII
MRS. VERNON TO LADY DE COURCY
Churchhill.
This letter, my dear Mother, will be brought you by Reginald. His long
visit is about to be concluded at last, but I fear the separation takes
place too late to do us any good. She is going to London to see her
particular friend, Mrs. Johnson. It was at first her intention that
Frederica should accompany her, for the benefit of masters, but we
overruled her there. Frederica was wretched in the idea of going, and
I could not bear to have her at the mercy of her mother; not all the
masters in London could compensate for the ruin of her comfort. I
should have feared, too, for her health, and for everything but her
principles--there I believe she is not to be injured by her mother, or
her mother's friends; but with those friends she must have mixed (a very
bad set, I doubt not), or have been left in total solitude, and I can
hardly tell which would have been worse for her. If she is with her
mother, moreover, she must, alas! in all probability be with Reginald,
and that would be the greatest evil of all. Here we shall in time be in
peace, and our regular employments, our books and conversations, with
exercise, the children, and every domestic pleasure in my power to
procure her, will, I trust, gradually overcome this youthful attachment.
I should not have a doubt of it were she slighted for any other woman in
the world than her own mother. How long Lady Susan will be in town, or
whether she returns here again, I know not. I could not be cordial in my
invitation, but if she chuses to come no want of cordiality on my part
will keep her away. I could not help asking Reginald if he intended
being in London this winter, as soon as I found her ladyship's
steps would be bent thither; and though he professed himself quite
undetermined, there was something in his look and voice as he spoke
which contradicted his words. I have done with lamentation; I look upon
the event as so far decided that I resign myself to it in despair. If he
leaves you soon for London everything will be concluded.
Your affectionate, &c. ,
C. VERNON.
XXVIII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
My dearest Friend,--I write in the greatest distress; the most
unfortunate event has just taken place. Mr. Johnson has hit on the most
effectual manner of plaguing us all. He had heard, I imagine, by some
means or other, that you were soon to be in London, and immediately
contrived to have such an attack of the gout as must at least delay his
journey to Bath, if not wholly prevent it. I am persuaded the gout is
brought on or kept off at pleasure; it was the same when I wanted to
join the Hamiltons to the Lakes; and three years ago, when I had a fancy
for Bath, nothing could induce him to have a gouty symptom.
I am pleased to find that my letter had so much effect on you, and that
De Courcy is certainly your own. Let me hear from you as soon as you
arrive, and in particular tell me what you mean to do with Mainwaring.
It is impossible to say when I shall be able to come to you; my
confinement must be great. It is such an abominable trick to be ill here
instead of at Bath that I can scarcely command myself at all. At Bath
his old aunts would have nursed him, but here it all falls upon me; and
he bears pain with such patience that I have not the common excuse for
losing my temper.
Yours ever,
ALICIA.
XXIX
LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Alicia,--There needed not this last fit of the gout to make
me detest Mr. Johnson, but now the extent of my aversion is not to
be estimated. To have you confined as nurse in his apartment! My dear
Alicia, of what a mistake were you guilty in marrying a man of his age!
just old enough to be formal, ungovernable, and to have the gout; too
old to be agreeable, too young to die. I arrived last night about five,
had scarcely swallowed my dinner when Mainwaring made his appearance.
I will not dissemble what real pleasure his sight afforded me, nor how
strongly I felt the contrast between his person and manners and those of
Reginald, to the infinite disadvantage of the latter. For an hour or two
I was even staggered in my resolution of marrying him, and though this
was too idle and nonsensical an idea to remain long on my mind, I do not
feel very eager for the conclusion of my marriage, nor look forward with
much impatience to the time when Reginald, according to our agreement,
is to be in town. I shall probably put off his arrival under some
pretence or other. He must not come till Mainwaring is gone. I am still
doubtful at times as to marrying; if the old man would die I might not
hesitate, but a state of dependance on the caprice of Sir Reginald will
not suit the freedom of my spirit; and if I resolve to wait for that
event, I shall have excuse enough at present in having been scarcely ten
months a widow. I have not given Mainwaring any hint of my intention, or
allowed him to consider my acquaintance with Reginald as more than the
commonest flirtation, and he is tolerably appeased. Adieu, till we meet;
I am enchanted with my lodgings.
Yours ever,
S. VERNON.
XXX
LADY SUSAN VERNON TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I have received your letter, and though I do not attempt to conceal that
I am gratified by your impatience for the hour of meeting, I yet
feel myself under the necessity of delaying that hour beyond the time
originally fixed. Do not think me unkind for such an exercise of my
power, nor accuse me of instability without first hearing my reasons.
In the course of my journey from Churchhill I had ample leisure for
reflection on the present state of our affairs, and every review has
served to convince me that they require a delicacy and cautiousness of
conduct to which we have hitherto been too little attentive. We have
been hurried on by our feelings to a degree of precipitation which ill
accords with the claims of our friends or the opinion of the world. We
have been unguarded in forming this hasty engagement, but we must not
complete the imprudence by ratifying it while there is so much reason
to fear the connection would be opposed by those friends on whom you
depend. It is not for us to blame any expectations on your father's side
of your marrying to advantage; where possessions are so extensive as
those of your family, the wish of increasing them, if not strictly
reasonable, is too common to excite surprize or resentment. He has a
right to require; a woman of fortune in his daughter-in-law, and I am
sometimes quarrelling with myself for suffering you to form a connection
so imprudent; but the influence of reason is often acknowledged too late
by those who feel like me. I have now been but a few months a widow,
and, however little indebted to my husband's memory for any happiness
derived from him during a union of some years, I cannot forget that the
indelicacy of so early a second marriage must subject me to the censure
of the world, and incur, what would be still more insupportable, the
displeasure of Mr. Vernon. I might perhaps harden myself in time against
the injustice of general reproach, but the loss of HIS valued esteem
I am, as you well know, ill-fitted to endure; and when to this may be
added the consciousness of having injured you with your family, how am I
to support myself? With feelings so poignant as mine, the conviction of
having divided the son from his parents would make me, even with you,
the most miserable of beings. It will surely, therefore, be advisable to
delay our union--to delay it till appearances are more promising--till
affairs have taken a more favourable turn. To assist us in such a
resolution I feel that absence will be necessary. We must not meet.
Cruel as this sentence may appear, the necessity of pronouncing it,
which can alone reconcile it to myself, will be evident to you when you
have considered our situation in the light in which I have found myself
imperiously obliged to place it. You may be--you must be--well assured
that nothing but the strongest conviction of duty could induce me
to wound my own feelings by urging a lengthened separation, and of
insensibility to yours you will hardly suspect me. Again, therefore,
I say that we ought not, we must not, yet meet. By a removal for some
months from each other we shall tranquillise the sisterly fears of Mrs.
Vernon, who, accustomed herself to the enjoyment of riches, considers
fortune as necessary everywhere, and whose sensibilities are not of a
nature to comprehend ours. Let me hear from you soon--very soon. Tell me
that you submit to my arguments, and do not reproach me for using such.
I cannot bear reproaches: my spirits are not so high as to need being
repressed. I must endeavour to seek amusement, and fortunately many
of my friends are in town; amongst them the Mainwarings; you know how
sincerely I regard both husband and wife.
I am, very faithfully yours,
S. VERNON
XXXI
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Friend,--That tormenting creature, Reginald, is here. My letter,
which was intended to keep him longer in the country, has hastened him
to town. Much as I wish him away, however, I cannot help being pleased
with such a proof of attachment. He is devoted to me, heart and soul.
He will carry this note himself, which is to serve as an introduction to
you, with whom he longs to be acquainted. Allow him to spend the evening
with you, that I may be in no danger of his returning here. I have told
him that I am not quite well, and must be alone; and should he call
again there might be confusion, for it is impossible to be sure of
servants. Keep him, therefore, I entreat you, in Edward Street. You will
not find him a heavy companion, and I allow you to flirt with him as
much as you like. At the same time, do not forget my real interest; say
all that you can to convince him that I shall be quite wretched if he
remains here; you know my reasons--propriety, and so forth. I would
urge them more myself, but that I am impatient to be rid of him, as
Mainwaring comes within half an hour. Adieu!
S VERNON
XXXII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN
Edward Street.
My dear Creature,--I am in agonies, and know not what to do. Mr. De
Courcy arrived just when he should not. Mrs. Mainwaring had that instant
entered the house, and forced herself into her guardian's presence,
though I did not know a syllable of it till afterwards, for I was out
when both she and Reginald came, or I should have sent him away at all
events; but she was shut up with Mr. Johnson, while he waited in the
drawing-room for me. She arrived yesterday in pursuit of her husband,
but perhaps you know this already from himself. She came to this house
to entreat my husband's interference, and before I could be aware of
it, everything that you could wish to be concealed was known to him, and
unluckily she had wormed out of Mainwaring's servant that he had visited
you every day since your being in town, and had just watched him to your
door herself! What could I do! Facts are such horrid things! All is by
this time known to De Courcy, who is now alone with Mr. Johnson. Do not
accuse me; indeed, it was impossible to prevent it. Mr. Johnson has for
some time suspected De Courcy of intending to marry you, and would
speak with him alone as soon as he knew him to be in the house. That
detestable Mrs. Mainwaring, who, for your comfort, has fretted herself
thinner and uglier than ever, is still here, and they have been all
closeted together. What can be done? At any rate, I hope he will plague
his wife more than ever. With anxious wishes, Yours faithfully,
ALICIA.
XXXIII
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
This eclaircissement is rather provoking. How unlucky that you should
have been from home! I thought myself sure of you at seven! I am
undismayed however. Do not torment yourself with fears on my account;
depend on it, I can make my story good with Reginald. Mainwaring is just
gone; he brought me the news of his wife's arrival. Silly woman, what
does she expect by such manoeuvres? Yet I wish she had stayed quietly
at Langford. Reginald will be a little enraged at first, but by
to-morrow's dinner, everything will be well again.
Adieu!
S. V.
XXXIV
MR. DE COURCY TO LADY SUSAN
--Hotel
I write only to bid you farewell, the spell is removed; I see you as
you are. Since we parted yesterday, I have received from indisputable
authority such a history of you as must bring the most mortifying
conviction of the imposition I have been under, and the absolute
necessity of an immediate and eternal separation from you. You
cannot doubt to what I allude. Langford! Langford! that word will be
sufficient. I received my information in Mr. Johnson's house, from Mrs.
Mainwaring herself. You know how I have loved you; you can intimately
judge of my present feelings, but I am not so weak as to find indulgence
in describing them to a woman who will glory in having excited their
anguish, but whose affection they have never been able to gain.
R. DE COURCY.
XXXV
LADY SUSAN TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I will not attempt to describe my astonishment in reading the note this
moment received from you. I am bewildered in my endeavours to form
some rational conjecture of what Mrs. Mainwaring can have told you
to occasion so extraordinary a change in your sentiments. Have I not
explained everything to you with respect to myself which could bear a
doubtful meaning, and which the ill-nature of the world had interpreted
to my discredit? What can you now have heard to stagger your esteem for
me? Have I ever had a concealment from you? Reginald, you agitate
me beyond expression, I cannot suppose that the old story of Mrs.
Mainwaring's jealousy can be revived again, or at least be LISTENED to
again. Come to me immediately, and explain what is at present absolutely
incomprehensible. Believe me the single word of Langford is not of such
potent intelligence as to supersede the necessity of more. If we ARE to
part, it will at least be handsome to take your personal leave--but
I have little heart to jest; in truth, I am serious enough; for to be
sunk, though but for an hour, in your esteem is a humiliation to which I
know not how to submit. I shall count every minute till your arrival.
S. V.
XXXVI
MR. DE COURCY TO LADY SUSAN
----Hotel.
Why would you write to me? Why do you require particulars? But, since
it must be so, I am obliged to declare that all the accounts of your
misconduct during the life, and since the death of Mr. Vernon, which had
reached me, in common with the world in general, and gained my entire
belief before I saw you, but which you, by the exertion of your
perverted abilities, had made me resolved to disallow, have been
unanswerably proved to me; nay more, I am assured that a connection,
of which I had never before entertained a thought, has for some time
existed, and still continues to exist, between you and the man whose
family you robbed of its peace in return for the hospitality with which
you were received into it; that you have corresponded with him ever
since your leaving Langford; not with his wife, but with him, and that
he now visits you every day. Can you, dare you deny it? and all this at
the time when I was an encouraged, an accepted lover! From what have I
not escaped! I have only to be grateful. Far from me be all complaint,
every sigh of regret. My own folly had endangered me, my preservation I
owe to the kindness, the integrity of another; but the unfortunate Mrs.
Mainwaring, whose agonies while she related the past seemed to threaten
her reason, how is SHE to be consoled! After such a discovery as this,
you will scarcely affect further wonder at my meaning in bidding you
adieu. My understanding is at length restored, and teaches no less to
abhor the artifices which had subdued me than to despise myself for the
weakness on which their strength was founded.
R. DE COURCY.
XXXVII
LADY SUSAN TO MR. DE COURCY
Upper Seymour Street.
I am satisfied, and will trouble you no more when these few lines are
dismissed. The engagement which you were eager to form a fortnight ago
is no longer compatible with your views, and I rejoice to find that
the prudent advice of your parents has not been given in vain. Your
restoration to peace will, I doubt not, speedily follow this act of
filial obedience, and I flatter myself with the hope of surviving my
share in this disappointment.
S. V.
XXXVIII
MRS. JOHNSON TO LADY SUSAN VERNON
Edward Street
I am grieved, though I cannot be astonished at your rupture with Mr.
De Courcy; he has just informed Mr. Johnson of it by letter. He leaves
London, he says, to-day. Be assured that I partake in all your feelings,
and do not be angry if I say that our intercourse, even by letter, must
soon be given up. It makes me miserable; but Mr. Johnson vows that if I
persist in the connection, he will settle in the country for the rest of
his life, and you know it is impossible to submit to such an extremity
while any other alternative remains. You have heard of course that the
Mainwarings are to part, and I am afraid Mrs. M. will come home to us
again; but she is still so fond of her husband, and frets so much about
him, that perhaps she may not live long. Miss Mainwaring is just come to
town to be with her aunt, and they say that she declares she will have
Sir James Martin before she leaves London again. If I were you, I would
certainly get him myself. I had almost forgot to give you my opinion of
Mr. De Courcy; I am really delighted with him; he is full as handsome, I
think, as Mainwaring, and with such an open, good-humoured countenance,
that one cannot help loving him at first sight. Mr. Johnson and he
are the greatest friends in the world. Adieu, my dearest Susan, I wish
matters did not go so perversely. That unlucky visit to Langford! but I
dare say you did all for the best, and there is no defying destiny.
Your sincerely attached
ALICIA.
XXXIX
LADY SUSAN TO MRS. JOHNSON
Upper Seymour Street.
My dear Alicia,--I yield to the necessity which parts us. Under
circumstances you could not act otherwise. Our friendship cannot
be impaired by it, and in happier times, when your situation is as
independent as mine, it will unite us again in the same intimacy as
ever. For this I shall impatiently wait, and meanwhile can safely assure
you that I never was more at ease, or better satisfied with myself and
everything about me than at the present hour. Your husband I abhor,
Reginald I despise, and I am secure of never seeing either again. Have
I not reason to rejoice? Mainwaring is more devoted to me than ever; and
were we at liberty, I doubt if I could resist even matrimony offered by
HIM. This event, if his wife live with you, it may be in your power to
hasten. The violence of her feelings, which must wear her out, may be
easily kept in irritation. I rely on your friendship for this.
