What is this
wiseacre
stuff you are telling me?
Aristophanes
[453] A general known for his cowardice; he was accused of not being a
citizen, but of Thracian origin; in 406 B. C. he was in disfavour, and he
perished shortly after in a popular tumult.
[454] According to Athenian law, the accused was acquitted when the
voting was equal.
[455] He had helped to establish the oligarchical government of the Four
Hundred, who had just been overthrown.
[456] The fight of Arginusae; the slaves who had fought there had been
accorded their freedom. --The Plataeans had had the title of citizens
since the battle of Marathon.
[457] Things were not going well for Athens at the time; it was only two
years later, 404 B. C. , that Lysander took the city.
[458] A demagogue; because he deceived the people, Aristophanes compares
him with the washermen who cheated their clients by using some mixture
that was cheaper than potash.
[459] Callistrates says that Clidemides was one of Sophocles' sons;
Apollonius states him to have been an actor.
[460] Dionysus was, of course, the patron god of the drama and dramatic
contests.
[461] The majestic grandeur of Aeschylus' periods, coupled with a touch
of parody, is to be recognized in this piece.
[462] It is said that Euripides was the son of a fruit-seller.
[463] Euripides is constantly twitted by Aristophanes with his
predilection for ragged beggars and vagabonds as characters in his plays.
[464] Bellerophon, Philoctetes, and Telephus, were all characters in
different Tragedies of Euripides.
[465] Sailors, when in danger, sacrificed a black lamb to Typhon, the god
of storms.
[466] An allusion to a long monologue of Icarus in the tragedy called
'The Cretans. '
[467] In 'Aeolus,' Macareus violates his own sister; in 'The Clouds,'
this incest, which Euripides introduced upon the stage, is also
mentioned.
[468] The title of one of Euripides' pieces.
[469] The titles of three lost Tragedies of Euripides.
[470] A verse from one of the lost Tragedies of Euripides; the poet was
born at Eleusis.
[471] Aristophanes often makes this accusation of religious heterodoxy
against Euripides.
[472] A dramatic poet, who lived about the end of the sixth century B. C. ,
and a disciple of Thespis; the scenic art was then comparatively in its
infancy.
[473] The Scholiast tells us that Achilles remained mute in the tragedy
entitled 'The Phrygians' or 'The Ransom of Hector,' and that his face was
veiled; he only spoke a few words at the beginning of the drama during a
dialogue with Hermes. --We have no information about the Niobe mentioned
here.
[474] The Scholiast tells us that this expression ([Greek:
hippalektru_on]) was used in 'The Myrmidons' of Aeschylus; Aristophanes
ridicules it again both in the 'Peace' and in 'The Birds. '
[475] An individual apparently noted for his uncouth ugliness.
[476] The beet and the decoctions are intended to indicate the insipidity
of Euripides' style.
[477] An intimate friend of Euripides, who is said to have worked with
him on his Tragedies, to have been 'ghost' to him in fact.
[478] An allusion to Euripides' obscure birth; his mother had been, so it
was said, a vegetable-seller in the public market.
[479] Euripides had introduced every variety of character into his
pieces, whereas Aeschylus only staged divinities or heroes.
[480] There are two Cycni, one, the son of Ares, was killed by Heracles
according to the testimony of Hesiod in his description of the "Shield of
Heracles"; the other, the son of Posidon, who, according to Pindar,
perished under the blows of Achilles. It is not known in which Tragedy of
Aeschylus this character was introduced.
[481] Memnon, the son of Aurora, was killed by Achilles; in the list of
the Tragedies of Aeschylus there is one entitled 'Memnon. '
[482] These two were not poets, but Euripides supposes them disciples of
Aeschylus, because of their rude and antiquated manners.
[483] Clitophon and Theramenes were elegants of effeminate habits and
adept talkers.
[484] A proverb which was applied to versatile people; the two Greek
names [Greek: Chios] and [Greek: Keios] might easily be mistaken for one
another. Both, of course, are islands of the Cyclades.
[485] A verse from the 'Myrmidons' of Aeschylus; here Achilles is
Aeschylus himself.
[486] The 'Persae' of Aeschylus (produced 472 B. C. ) was received with
transports of enthusiasm, reviving as it did memories of the glorious
defeat of Xerxes at Salamis, where the poet had fought, only a few years
before, 480 B. C.
[487] Nothing is known of this Pantacles, whom Eupolis, in his 'Golden
Age,' also describes as awkward ([Greek: skaios]).
[488] Aristophanes had by this time modified his opinion of this general,
whom he had so flouted in 'The Acharnians. '
[489] Son of Telamon, the King of Salamis and brother of Ajax.
[490] The wife of Proetus, King of Argos. Bellerophon, who had sought
refuge at the court of this king after the accidental murder of his
brother Bellerus, had disdained her amorous overtures. Therefore she
denounced him to her husband as having wanted to attempt her virtue and
urged him to cause his death. She killed herself immediately after the
departure of the young hero.
[491] Cephisophon, Euripides' friend, is said to have seduced his wife.
[492] Meaning, they have imitated Sthenoboea in everything; like her,
they have conceived adulterous passions and, again like her, they have
poisoned themselves.
[493] Lycabettus, a mountain of Attica, just outside the walls of Athens,
the "Arthur's Seat" of the city. Parnassus, the famous mountain of
Phocis, the seat of the temple and oracle of Delphi and the home of the
Muses. The whole passage is, of course, in parody of the grandiloquent
style of Aeschylus.
[494] An allusion to Oeneus, King of Aetolia, and to Telephus, King of
Mysia; characters put upon the stage by Euripides.
[495] It was only the rich Athenians who could afford fresh fish, because
of their high price; we know how highly the gourmands prized the eels
from the Copaic lake.
[496] If Aristophanes is to be believed, the orators were of depraved
habits, and exacted infamous complaisances as payment for their lessons
in rhetoric.
[497] Aristophanes attributes the general dissoluteness to the influence
of Euripides; he suggests that the subtlety of his poetry, by sharpening
the wits of the vulgar and even of the coarsest, has instigated them to
insubordination.
[498] Auge, who was seduced by Heracles, was delivered in the temple of
Athene (Scholiast); it is unknown in what piece this fact is
mentioned. --Macareus violates his sister Canace in the 'Aeolus. '
[499] i. e. they busy themselves with philosophic subtleties. This line is
taken from 'The Phryxus,' of which some fragments have come down to us.
[500] In the torch-race the victor was the runner who attained the goal
first without having allowed his torch to go out. This race was a very
ancient institution. Aristophanes means to say that the old habits had
fallen into disuse.
[501] A tetralogy composed of three tragedies, the 'Agamemnon,' the
'Choephorae,' the 'Eumenides,' together with a satirical drama, the
'Proteus. '
[502] This is the opening of the 'Choephorae. ' Aeschylus puts the words
in the mouth of Orestes, who is returning to his native land and visiting
his father's tomb.
[503] i. e. your jokes are very coarse.
[504] He was one of the Athenian generals in command at Arginusae; he and
his colleagues were condemned to death for not having given burial to the
men who fell in that naval fight.
[505] As Euripides had done to those of Aeschylus; that sort of criticism
was too low for him.
[506] [Greek: D_ekuthion ap_olesa], _oleum perdidi,_ I have lost my
labour, was a proverbial expression, which was also possibly the refrain
of some song. Aeschylus means to say that all Euripides' phrases are cast
in the same mould, and that his style is so poor and insipid that one can
adapt to it any foolery one wishes; as for the phrase he adds to every
one of the phrases his rival recites, he chooses it to insinuate that the
work of Euripides is _labour lost_, and that he would have done just as
well not to meddle with tragedy. The joke is mediocre at its best and is
kept up far too long.
[507] Prologue of the 'Archelaus' of Euripides, a tragedy now lost.
[508] From prologue of the 'Hypsipile' of Euripides, a play now lost.
[509] From prologue of the 'Sthenoboea' of Euripides, a play now lost.
[510] From prologue of the 'Phryxus' of Euripides, a play now lost.
[511] From prologue of the 'Iphigeneia in Tauris' of Euripides.
[512] Prologue of 'The Meleager' by Euripides, lost.
[513] Prologue of 'The Menalippe Sapiens,' by Euripides, lost.
[514] The whole of these fragments are quoted at random and have no
meaning. Euripides, no doubt, wants to show that the choruses of
Aeschylus are void of interest or coherence. As to the refrain, "haste to
sustain the assault," Euripides possibly wants to insinuate that
Aeschylus incessantly repeats himself and that a wearying monotony
pervades his choruses. However, all these criticisms are in the main
devoid of foundation.
[515] This ridiculous couplet pretends to imitate the redundancy and
nonsensicality of Aeschylus' language; it can be seen how superficial and
unfair the criticism of Euripides is; probably this is just what
Aristophanes wanted to convey by this long and wearisome scene.
[516] The Scholiast conjectures this Melitus to be the same individual
who later accused Socrates.
[517] The most infamous practices were attributed to the Lesbian women,
amongst others, that of _fellation_, that is the vile trick of taking a
man's penis in the mouth, to give him gratification by sucking and
licking it with the tongue. Dionysus means to say that Euripides takes
pleasure in describing shameful passions.
[518] Here the criticism only concerns the rhythm and not either the
meaning or the style. This passage was sung to one of the airs that
Euripides had adopted for his choruses and which have not come down to
us; we are therefore absolutely without any data that would enable us to
understand and judge a criticism of this kind.
[519] A celebrated courtesan, who was skilled in twelve different
postures of Venus. Aeschylus returns to his idea, which he has so often
indicated, that Euripides' poetry is low and impure; he at the same time
scoffs at the artifices to which Euripides had recourse when inspiration
and animation failed him.
[520] No monologue of Euripides that has been preserved bears the
faintest resemblance to this specimen which. Aeschylus pretends to be
giving here.
[521] Beginning of Euripides' 'Medea. '
[522] Fragment from Aeschylus 'Philoctetes. ' The Sperchius is a river in
Thessaly, which has its source in the Pindus range and its mouth in the
Maliac gulf.
[523] A verse from Euripides' 'Antigone. ' Its meaning is, that it is
better to speak well than to speak the truth, if you want to persuade.
[524] From the 'Niobe,' a lost play, of Aeschylus.
[525] From the 'Telephus' of Euripides, in which he introduces Achilles
playing at dice. This line was also ridiculed by Eupolis.
[526] From Euripides' 'Meleager. ' All these plays, with the one exception
of the 'Medea,' are lost.
[527] From the 'Glaucus Potniensis,' a lost play of Aeschylus.
[528] i. e. one hundred porters, either because many of the Athenian
porters were Egyptians, or as an allusion to the Pyramids and other great
works, which had habituated them to carrying heavy burdens.
[529] Euripides' friend and collaborator.
[530] The invention of weights and measures, of dice, and of the game of
chess are attributed to him, also that of four additional letters of the
alphabet.
[531] i. e. that cannot decide for either party.
[532] i. e. that a country can always be invaded and that the fleet alone
is a safe refuge. This is the same advice as that given by Pericles, and
which Thucydides expresses thus, "Let your country be devastated, or even
devastate it yourself, and set sail for Laconia with your fleet. "
[533] An allusion to the fees of the dicasts, or jurymen; we have already
seen that at this period it was two obols, and later three.
[534] A half-line from Euripides' 'Hippolytus. ' The full line is: [Greek:
h_e gl_ott' om_omok', h_e de phr_en an_omotos,] "my tongue has taken an
oath, but my mind is unsworn," a bit of casuistry which the critics were
never tired of bringing up against the author.
[535] A verse from the 'Aeolus' of Euripides, but slightly altered.
Euripides said, "Why is is shameful, if the spectators, who enjoy it, do
not think so? "
[536] A verse from the 'Phrixus' of Euripides; what follows is a parody.
[537] We have already seen Aeschylus pretending that it was possible to
adapt any foolish expression one liked to the verses of Euripides: "a
little bottle, a little bag, a little fleece. "
[538] Pluto speaks as though he were an Athenian himself.
[539] That they should hang themselves. Cleophon is said to have been an
influential alien resident who was opposed to concluding peace; Myrmex
and Nicomachus were two officials guilty of peculation of public funds;
Archenomus is unknown.
[540] He would brand them as fugitive slaves, if, despite his orders,
they refused to come down.
[541] An Athenian admiral.
[542] The real name of the father of Adimantus was Leucolophides, which
Aristophanes jestingly turns into Leucolophus, i. e. _White Crest_.
[543] i. e. in a foreign country; Cleophon, as we have just seen, was not
an Athenian.
THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE
or
The Women's Festival
INTRODUCTION
Like the 'Lysistrata,' the 'Thesmophoriazusae, or Women's Festival,' and
the next following play, the 'Ecclesiazusae, or Women in Council' are
comedies in which the fair sex play a great part, and also resemble that
extremely _scabreux_ production in the plentiful crop of doubtful 'double
entendres' and highly suggestive situations they contain.
The play has more of a proper intrigue and formal denouement than is
general with our Author's pieces, which, like modern extravaganzas and
musical comedies, are often strung on a very slender thread of plot. The
idea of the 'Thesmophoriazusae' is as follows.
Euripides is summoned as a notorious woman-hater and detractor of the
female sex to appear for trial and judgment before the women of Athens
assembled to celebrate the Thesmophoria, a festival held in honour of the
goddesses Demeter and Persephone, from which men were rigidly excluded.
The poet is terror-stricken, and endeavours to persuade his confr? re, the
tragedian Agathon, to attend the meeting in the guise of a woman to plead
his cause, Agathon's notorious effeminacy of costume and way of life
lending itself to the deception; but the latter refuses point-blank. He
then prevails on his father-in-law, Mnesilochus, to do him this favour,
and shaves, depilates, and dresses him up accordingly. But so far from
throwing oil on the troubled waters, Mnesilochus indulges in a long
harangue full of violent abuse of the whole sex, and relates some
scandalous stories of the naughty ways of peccant wives. The assembly
suspects at once there is a man amongst them, and on examination of the
old fellow's person, this is proved to be the case. He flies for
sanctuary to the altar, snatching a child from the arms of one of the
women as a hostage, vowing to kill it if they molest him further. On
investigation, however, the infant turns out to be a wine-skin dressed in
baby's clothes.
In despair Mnesilochus sends urgent messages to Euripides to come and
rescue him from his perilous predicament. The latter then appears, and in
successive characters selected from his different Tragedies--now Menelaus
meeting Helen again in Egypt, now Echo sympathising with the chained
Andromeda, presently Perseus about to release the heroine from her
rock--pleads for his unhappy father-in-law. At length he succeeds in
getting him away in the temporary absence of the guard, a Scythian
archer, whom he entices from his post by the charms of a dancing-girl.
As may be supposed, the appearance of Mnesilochus among the women dressed
in women's clothes, the examination of his person to discover his true
sex and his final detection, afford fine opportunities for a display of
the broadest Aristophanic humour. The latter part of the play also, where
various pieces of Euripides are burlesqued, is extremely funny; and must
have been still more so when represented before an audience familiar with
every piece and almost every line parodied, and played by actors trained
and got up to imitate every trick and mannerism of appearance and
delivery of the tragic actors who originally took the parts.
The 'Thesmophoriazusae' was produced in the year 412 B. C. , six years
before the death of Euripides, who is held up to ridicule in it, as he is
in 'The Wasps' and several other of our Author's comedies.
* * * * *
THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE
or
The Women's Festival
DRAMATIS PERSONAE
EURIPIDES.
MNESILOCHUS, Father-in-law of Euripides.
AGATHON.
SERVANT OF AGATHON.
CHORUS attending AGATHON.
HERALD.
WOMEN.
CLISTHENES.
A PRYTANIS or Member of the Council.
A SCYTHIAN or Police Officer.
CHORUS OF THESMOPHORIAZUSAE--women keeping the Feast of Demeter.
SCENE: In front of Agathon's house; afterwards in the precincts of the
Temple of Demeter.
* * * * *
THE THESMOPHORIAZUSAE
or
The Women's Festival
MNESILOCHUS. Great Zeus! will the swallow never appear to end the winter
of my discontent? Why the fellow has kept me on the run ever since early
this morning; he wants to kill me, that's certain. Before I lose my
spleen entirely, Euripides, can you at least tell me whither you are
leading me?
EURIPIDES. What need for you to hear what you are going to see?
MNESILOCHUS. How is that? Repeat it. No need for me to hear. . . .
EURIPIDES. What you are going to see.
MNESILOCHUS. Nor consequently to see. . . .
EURIPIDES. What you have to hear. [544]
MNESILOCHUS.
What is this wiseacre stuff you are telling me? I must
neither see nor hear.
EURIPIDES. Ah! but you have two things there that are essentially
distinct.
MNESILOCHUS. Seeing and hearing.
EURIPIDES. Undoubtedly.
MNESILOCHUS. In what way distinct?
EURIPIDES. In this way. Formerly, when Ether separated the elements and
bore the animals that were moving in her bosom, she wished to endow them
with sight, and so made the eye round like the sun's disc and bored ears
in the form of a funnel.
MNESILOCHUS. And because of this funnel I neither see nor hear. Ah! great
gods! I am delighted to know it. What a fine thing it is to talk with
wise men!
EURIPIDES. I will teach you many another thing of the sort.
MNESILOCHUS. That's well to know; but first of all I should like to find
out how to grow lame, so that I need not have to follow you all about.
EURIPIDES. Come, hear and give heed!
MNESILOCHUS. I'm here and waiting.
EURIPIDES. Do you see that little door?
MNESILOCHUS. Yes, certainly.
EURIPIDES. Silence!
MNESILOCHUS. Silence about what? About the door?
EURIPIDES. Pay attention!
MNESILOCHUS. Pay attention and be silent about the door? Very well.
EURIPIDES. 'Tis there that Agathon, the celebrated tragic poet,
dwells. [545]
MNESILOCHUS. Who is this Agathon?
EURIPIDES. 'Tis a certain Agathon. . . .
MNESILOCHUS. Swarthy, robust of build?
EURIPIDES. No, another. You have never seen him?
MNESILOCHUS. He has a big beard?
EURIPIDES. No, no, evidently you have never seen him.
MNESILOCHUS. Never, so far as I know.
EURIPIDES. And yet you have pedicated him. Well, it must have been
without knowing who he was. Ah! let us step aside; here is one of his
slaves bringing a brazier and some myrtle branches; no doubt he is going
to offer a sacrifice and pray for a happy poetical inspiration for
Agathon.
SERVANT OF AGATHON. Silence! oh, people! keep your mouths sedately shut!
The chorus of the Muses is moulding songs at my master's hearth. Let the
winds hold their breath in the silent Ether! Let the azure waves cease
murmuring on the shore! . . .
MNESILOCHUS. Brououou! brououou! (_Imitates the buzzing of a fly. _)
EURIPIDES. Keep quiet! what are you saying there?
SERVANT. . . . Take your rest, ye winged races, and you, ye savage
inhabitants of the woods, cease from your erratic wandering . . .
MNESILOCHUS. Broum, broum, brououou.
SERVANT. . . . for Agathon, our master, the sweet-voiced poet, is going . . .
MNESILOCHUS. . . . to be pedicated?
SERVANT. Whose voice is that?
MNESILOCHUS. 'Tis the silent Ether.
SERVANT. . . . is going to construct the framework of a drama. He is
rounding fresh poetical forms, he is polishing them in the lathe and is
welding them; he is hammering out sentences and metaphors; he is working
up his subject like soft wax. First he models it and then he casts it in
bronze . . .
MNESILOCHUS. . . . and sways his buttocks amorously.
SERVANT. Who is the rustic who approaches this sacred enclosure?
MNESILOCHUS. Take care of yourself and of your sweet-voiced poet! I have
a strong instrument here both well rounded and well polished, which will
pierce your enclosure and penetrate your bottom.
SERVANT. Old man, you must have been a very insolent fellow in your
youth!
EURIPIDES (_to the servant_). Let him be, friend, and, quick, go and call
Agathon to me.
SERVANT. 'Tis not worth the trouble, for he will soon be here himself. He
has started to compose, and in winter[546] it is never possible to round
off strophes without coming to the sun to excite the imagination. (_He
departs. _)
MNESILOCHUS. And what am I to do?
EURIPIDES. Wait till he comes. . . . Oh, Zeus! what hast thou in store for
me to-day?
MNESILOCHUS. But, great gods, what is the matter then? What are you
grumbling and groaning for? Tell me; you must not conceal anything from
your father-in-law.
EURIPIDES. Some great misfortune is brewing against me.
MNESILOCHUS. What is it?
EURIPIDES. This day will decide whether it is all over with Euripides or
not.
MNESILOCHUS. But how? Neither the tribunals nor the Senate are sitting,
for it is the third of the five days consecrated to Demeter. [547]
EURIPIDES. That is precisely what makes me tremble; the women have
plotted my ruin, and to-day they are to gather in the Temple of Demeter
to execute their decision.
MNESILOCHUS. Why are they against you?
EURIPIDES. Because I mishandle them in my tragedies.
MNESILOCHUS. By Posidon, you would seem to have thoroughly deserved your
fate. But how are you going to get out of the mess?
EURIPIDES. I am going to beg Agathon, the tragic poet, to go to the
Thesmophoria.
MNESILOCHUS. And what is he to do there?
EURIPIDES. He would mingle with the women, and stand up for me, if
needful.
MNESILOCHUS. Would he be openly present or secretly?
EURIPIDES. Secretly, dressed in woman's clothes.
MNESILOCHUS. That's a clever notion, thoroughly worthy of you. The prize
for trickery is ours.
EURIPIDES. Silence!
MNESILOCHUS. What's the matter?
EURIPIDES. Here comes Agathon.
MNESILOCHUS. Where, where?
EURIPIDES. That's the man they are bringing out yonder on the
machine. [548]
MNESILOCHUS. I am blind then! I see no man here, I only see Cyrene. [549]
EURIPIDES. Be still! He is getting ready to sing.
MNESILOCHUS. What subtle trill, I wonder, is he going to warble to us?
AGATHON. Damsels, with the sacred torch[550] in hand, unite your dance to
shouts of joy in honour of the nether goddesses; celebrate the freedom of
your country.
CHORUS.
