No More Learning

I saw her lift her arm: I ran to save her.
I alone, for your love, have preserved her: 1020
And pitying both her distress and your fears,
Despite myself, I've served to explain her tears.

Theseus

The traitor couldn't prevent himself turning pale!
I saw him shudder with fear, finding me again.
I was astonished by such lack of joyousness, 1025
His cold embrace has chilled my tenderness.
But had he already declared this guilty love
In Athens, this passion by which he's devoured?

Oenone

My lord, remember the Queen's complaints.
His guilty passion the cause of all her hate. 1030

Theseus

And his passion then began again in Troezen?

Oenone

I've explained, my Lord, all that happened then.
The Queen has been left too long in mortal pain:
Allow me to leave you, and go to her again.

Act IV Scene II (Theseus, Hippolyte)

Theseus

Ah! He is there. High gods! Tell me whose seeing 1035
Wouldn't be misled, like mine, by noble bearing?
How can the brow of this profane adulterer
Shine out with virtue's sacred character?
And shouldn't we be able to recognise
The heart of a treacherous mortal by sure signs? 1040

Hippolytus

May I ask you, my Lord, what gloomy cloud,
Allows itself to trouble your noble brow?
Will you dare to confide this secret to me?

Theseus

Traitor, do you dare to show yourself before me?
Monster, whom the thunderbolt too long has spared, 1045
Foul leavings of those thieves I swept from the earth!
After the transports of horror-filled passion led
Your madness as far as your father's bed,
You dare to present your hostile face to me
You approach this place full of your infamy, 1050
Rather than finding, under some unknown sky,
A country where my name never met the eye.
Traitor, flee. Don't come here to brave my pain,
Tempting the anger I can barely contain.
Enough eternal disgrace has been heaped on me 1055
In having brought to light a son so guilty,
Without his death, a shameful future memory,
Arriving to stain my noble labours' glory:
Flee, if you don't wish my swift punishment
To add to the rascals who've known chastisement, 1060
Take care that the star that lights us never
Sees you setting a reckless foot here, ever.
Flee, I say, and set out without returning,
Rid all my lands of your dreadful being.
And you, Neptune, you, if my courage ever 1065
Cleansed your shore of those infamous murderers,
Remember that as a prize for all my labour,
You promised to fulfil my future prayer.
During the long rigours of a cruel prison,
I never called on your immortal person. 1070
Eager for the help I expect from your care,
For this greater need I retained my prayer.
Today I beg you, avenge an unhappy father.
I now abandon a traitor to your anger.
Drown his outrageous desires in his own blood. 1075
Theseus by your fury measures his own good.

Hippolyte

Phaedra accuse Hippolytus of a guilty passion!
Such excess of horror renders my spirit numb:
So many unforeseen blows together rain on me
They stifle my words, and rob me of my speech. 1080

Theseus

Traitor, you imagined that in cowardly silence
Phaedra would bury all your brutish insolence.
You should never have dropped your sword as you fled
Which, left in her hands, condemns you instead:
Or rather in order to complete your treachery, 1085
You should have robbed her of life and speech.

Hippolyte

Rightly indignant at such a dark deceit,
My Lord, I should allow the truth to speak.
But I'll suppress a secret that touches you.
Respect closes my lips: which you should approve. 1090
And without wishing you to increase your pain
Reflect on my life, and think who I am, again.
Crime of sorts ever precedes some greater crime.
Whoever crosses lawful boundaries, in time
Violates the most sacred rights with impunity: 1095
As well as virtue, crime too has its degrees,
And no one has ever seen shy innocence
Suddenly transform itself to extreme licence.
A single day can't make a man who's virtuous
A treacherous assassin: cowardly, incestuous. 1100
Nurtured in the womb of a chaste heroine,
I've never betrayed my blood, and my origin.
Pittheus, accounted wise amongst all men,
Deigned to instruct me when I left her hands.
I do not seek to present myself to advantage: 1105
But if any virtue fell to my share by parentage,
My Lord, I've shown hatred above all I believe
For the errors that men dared to impute to me.
Throughout Greece they know this of Hippolytus,
That I've carried virtue to the point of rudeness. 1110
They know the inflexible rigour of my sadness.
The daylight is not so pure as my heart's depths.
Yet they say Hippolytus, drunk with base desire. . .

Theseus

Yes, you're condemned for that same cowardly pride.
I can see the shameful reason for your coldness. 1115
Phaedra alone bewitched your lustful senses.
And for every other object your soul, indifferent,
Disdained to burn with any flame so innocent.

Hippolytus

No, father, this heart - a truth too great to hide -
Has never disdained to burn with chaste desire. 1120
At your feet I'll confess my true offence:
I love, I love it's true, in your defiance.
Aricia holds my wishes slaves to her law: your
Son has indeed been conquered by Pallas' daughter.
I adore her, and my soul, rebelling at your order, 1125
Can only breathe, and be inspired by her.

Theseus

You love her? No, this is a crude deception.
You pretend to this crime as a justification.

Hippolytus

My Lord, for six months I've shunned and loved her.
Trembling to speak to you myself I came here. 1130
What! Can nothing disabuse you of your error?
What fearful vow, in reassurance, must I swear.
By heaven, and earth, and all that Nature sees. . .

Theseus

Rogues always have recourse to perjuries.
Cease, cease, and spare me idle discourse, 1135
If your false virtue has no better recourse.

Hippolytus

It seems false to you and full of artifice.
Phaedra, in her heart's depths, grants me more justice.

Theseus

Ah! How your impudence excites my passion!

Hippolytus

What place is set for my exile, what duration? 1140

Theseus

If you were beyond the pillars of Hercules,
I'd still think one traitor far too near to me.

Hippolytus

Charged with the dreadful crime you suspect,
What friend will pity one whom you reject?

Theseus

Go and seek out those friends whose fatal respect 1145
Honours adultery, and praises incest:
Traitors, without law, honour, gratitude,
Worthy to shelter criminals like you.

Hippolytus

You always speak of incest and adultery!
I'll be silent. But Phaedra's of a dynasty, 1150
Phaedra has a mother, my Lord: you know her line
Is more replete with these horrors than is mine.

Theseus

What! Your madness with me loses all sense?
For the last time, take yourself from my presence.
Leave, traitor. Don't wait till a father's anger 1155
Sees you taken, in disgrace, from these shores.

Act IV Scene III (Theseus)

Wretch, you are rushing now to certain death.
Neptune has sworn to me, by Stygian depths
Dreadful even to the gods, and will not fail.
An avenging god pursues you: you'll not escape. 1160
I have loved you: and despite your offence,
My heart is troubled for you in advance.
But you have forced me to condemn you.
Was ever a father so outraged, it's true?
Just gods, who see the grief that overwhelms me, 1165
How could I ever engender a child so guilty?

Act IV Scene IV (Phaedra, Theseus)

Phaedra

My Lord, I come to you, filled with righteous fear.
Your formidable voice echoed in my ear.
I fear lest hasty action followed your threat.
Spare your son, if sufficient time is left, 1170
Respect your ancestry: I dare to beg you.
Save me the pain of hearing him cry to you:
Don't prepare the eternal sadness for me
Of blood being shed by a father's enmity.

Theseus

No, Madame, my hand's not stained with blood: 1175
But the wretch has not escaped me for good.
An immortal hand is charged with his end.
Neptune owes it to me: you'll be avenged.

Phaedra

Neptune owes it you! How? Your angry prayers. . .

Theseus

What! That they'll not be heard, is that your fear? 1180
Rather join your lawful prayers to mine.
In all its darkness, recount to me his crime:
Stir my anger, restrained as it is, too slow.
All of his crimes are not yet known to you:
His madness adds to his insults against you yet: 1185
He said that your mouth is full of wickedness:
He maintains that Aricia has his heart, in faith,
That he loves.

Phaedra

How! My Lord!

Theseus

He said it to my face.
But I'm wise enough to reject an idle trick.
Let's put our hope in Neptune's ready justice. 1190
I'll even go to the foot of the altar myself,
To urge that his divine promise be fulfilled.

Act IV Scene V (Phaedra)

Phaedra (Alone. )

He's gone. What words are these in my ears?
What evil flame stifled in my heart appears?
What lightning bolt, you heavens! What fatal news! 1195
I flew here only in hope his son might be rescued:
And tore myself from Oenone's trembling arms,
Yielding to that remorse that does me harm.
Who knows where repentance might have led?
Perhaps I'd have tried to accuse myself, instead: 1200
Perhaps, if my voice had not been stilled within,
The dire truth would have escaped me even then.
Hippolytus feels, and feels nothing for me!
Aricia has his heart! Aricia has his loyalty.
You gods! When that wretch armed himself against me 1205
His proud glance, and his stern brow, set against my plea,
I thought that his heart always closed to passion
Was equally hostile to every woman.
But meanwhile another has taken my place:
Before his cruel eyes another has found grace. 1210
Perhaps he has a heart that is easy to alter.
And I am the only thing he could not endure:
And is it him I should undertake to defend?

Act IV Scene VI (Phaedra, Oenone)

Phaedra

Dear Oenone, do you know what I have learned?

Oenone

No: but, not to deceive you, I'm trembling here. 1215
I grew pale at the cause that made you appear:
I fear a passion in you that might prove fatal.

Phaedra

Oenone, who would believe it? I have a rival.

Oenone

What!

Phaedra

Hippolyte loves, I cannot doubt, it's true.
That shy untameable enemy, one who 1220
Seemed offended by respect, annoyed by tears,
That tiger I could not approach without fear,
Submissive, docile, knows a conqueror's art:
Aricia has found the pathway to his heart.

Oenone

Aricia?

Phaedra

Oh! A pain as yet that I had not felt! 1225
For what new torment have I reserved myself?
All I have suffered, my fears, my ecstasies,
Horror of remorse, the madness before my eyes,
And the unbearable hurt of cruel rejection,
Was only a feeble shadow of this moment. 1230
They are in love! What magic misled my eyes?
Where did they meet? Since when? How did it arise?
You knew. Why did you let me be deceived?
Could you not teach their furtive passion to me?
Have they been seen speaking together, searching? 1235
Did they seek the forest's depths: were they hiding?
Alas! They had full licence of each other's eyes.
Heaven approved the innocence of their sighs:
They followed their loving thoughts without remorse:
Each day rose clear, serene to light their course. 1240
And I, sad, rejected by Nature outright,
I hid from the day: I fled from the light.
Death was the only god I dared call on.
I waited for the moment of extinction,
Feeding myself on venom, quenched with tears, 1245
Too closely watched in my suffering to dare
To allow myself to drown with weeping:
Tasting that deadly pleasure, with trembling,
And disguising my pain behind a calm brow,
Often my own tears I refused to allow. 1250

Oenone

But what will the fruit be of their hopeless love?
They will never meet again.

Phaedra

They will always love.
Ah, deadly thought, as I speak, at this moment, here,
They brave the fury of a maddened lover!
Despite the same exile that will separate them, 1255
They swear a thousand times nothing will part them.
No, I cannot endure a happiness that galls me,
Oenone. In this jealous rage, take pity on me.
Aricia must perish. We must rouse the enmity
Of my husband against that odious dynasty. 1260
No light punishment should be the sister's:
Her crime exceeds that of all her brothers.
I'll implore him now in my jealous rage.
What am I doing? How has my reason strayed?
I, jealous! And Theseus is to be implored! 1265
My husband lives, and yet I burn the more!
For whom? Whose is the heart that claims my prayers?
Every word lifts the horrid tresses of my hair.
Now my crimes have overflowed the measure.
I breathe incest and deceit, twins together. 1270
My murderous hands, eager for vengeance,
Burn to plunge in the blood of innocence.
Unhappy! And I live? And endure the sight
Of that sacred Sun from whom I take my life?
I have, for ancestor, the gods' king and father: 1275
The sky, the universe is filled with my ancestors.
Where can I hide myself? Flee to infernal night.
What am I saying? My father, there, holds tight
To the fatal urn: Destiny placed it in his hands:
Minos, in Hell, judges the ghosts of these humans. 1280
Ah! How his shade will tremble, horrified
When he sees his daughter present before his eyes,
Forced to confess to so many diverse sins,
Crimes perhaps unknown even in those realms!
What will you say, father, to that terrible sight?
1285
I see the dread urn drop from your hands outright,
I see you searching for some new punishment,
Doomed yourself to be your own child's torment.
Forgive me. A cruel god destroys your race.
See his vengeance in your daughter's face. 1290
Alas! My sad heart failed to gather the fruit
Of my dreadful crime, and shame is in pursuit.
Hounded by misery till my final breath,
I lay down a painful life in tormented death.

Oenone

Oh! Madame, reject this ill-founded terror. 1295
View it with another eye as pardonable error.
You love. We cannot overcome destiny.
You were led on by some deadly sorcery.
Is that a happening unknown among us?
Is it only over you that love has triumphed? 1300
Weakness among us is only too natural.
Mortal, submit to the fate of all things mortal.
You complain of a yoke imposed long ago:
Even the gods of Olympus, those gods, we know,
Who frighten criminals with thunderous action, 1305
Have sometimes burned with an illicit passion.

Phaedra

What do I hear? What advice do you dare to give?
Do you wish to poison me while I still live.
Wretched girl! This is how you destroy me.
You turn me back to the light from which I flee. 1310
Your entreaties made me forget my duty.
I avoided Hippolytus: him you made me see.
What did you seek to do? Why did your impious lips
Dare to blacken his life by accusing him?
Perhaps he will die, and the sacrilegious vow 1315
Of a maddened father may yet be carried out.
I'll listen to you no more. Go, loathsome monster,
Go: leave me to brood on my pitiful future.
May a just heaven reward you, as you deserve:
And may your punishment forever serve 1320
To terrify those whose like cowardly address,
Nourishes wretched princes in their weakness,
Urges the inclination of their hearts, and then
Dares to smooth the path of crime for them:
Detestable flatterers, the most deadly gift 1325
That celestial anger offers royalty!

Oneone (Alone. )

You, gods! To serve her I've done all, given all:
And I receive this for it? I've earned this reward.

Act V Scene I (Hippolytus, Aricia)

Aricia

What! You can be silent in this great danger?
You would leave a loving father a prey to error? 1330
Cruel one, if you scorn the power of my tears,
And consent without pain to leave me forever,
Go then, distance yourself from poor Aricia.
But at least defend your life by leaving her.
Protect your honour from shameful reproach, 1335
And ensure your father's vow is revoked.
There's still time. Why, from what whim of yours,
Do you leave the field open to your accusers?
Enlighten Theseus.

Hippolytus

Ah! What have I not said?
Should I shed light on the dishonour to his bed? 1340
Should I in making a statement all too sincere,
Cover with shameful blushes the brow of a father?
You alone have pierced this odious mystery.
Only to you and the gods can my heart speak.
All that I'd hide, and judge now if I love you, 1345
From my own self, I could never hide from you.
But think of the seal under which I've spoken.
My lady, and forget that speech if you can.
And never allow those lips, in their purity,
To open and then relate so vile a story. 1350
Let us dare to trust in the gods' justice:
Vindicating me's in their best interest:
And Phaedra will be punished: the guilty
Will not escape, someday, true infamy.
I will ask of you this one unique service, 1355
I leave all the rest to my liberated wrath.
Flee that to which you're reduced, this slavery,
Dare to follow my flight. Accompany me.
Tear yourself from what's fatal and profane here
Where virtue breathes a poisoned atmosphere: 1360
And in order to hide your prompt escape,
Profit from the confusion my disgrace creates.
I can provide you with the means for flight:
The only guards surrounding you are mine.
Powerful defenders will support our cause: 1365
Argos extends her arms to us: Sparta calls.
We'll carry our pleas to our mutual friends:
Let Phaedra not gather what we leave behind
Nor chase us both from an inherited crown,
Nor promise our spoils to a son of her own. 1370
The time is ripe now: we must seize the moment.
What fear restrains you? You seem uncertain?
Your rights alone inspire this boldness in me.
When I am on fire, why do you look so coldly?
Are you afraid to march to an exile's step? 1375

Aricia

Alas! How dear to me, Sire, such banishment!
Joined to your fate, and in what ecstasy
I'd live forgotten by all of humanity!
But not being joined by marriage's sweet tie,
Could I with honour leave here at your side? 1380
I know I could free myself from your father,
Without harming even the strictest honour:
I would not be escaping from a parent,
Flight is allowed to those who flee a tyrant.
But you love me, my Lord: and my honour: gone. . . 1385

Hippolyte

No, no, I've too much care for your reputation.
A nobler plan brought me here before you:
Flee your enemies: follow your husband too.
Free in our sorrows, since the heavens so will,
The pledge of our faith depends on no one else. 1390
Marriage is not always lit by nuptial flames.
At the gates of Troezen, among these graves,
The ancient tombs of the princes of my race,
Is a sacred temple where perjury has no place.
There no mortal man dares to swear in vain: 1395
Against false oaths, his punishment is certain:
And fearing to meet there with inexorable death,
Nothing more surely constrains deceitful breath.
There, if your trust in me, we will approve
The solemn contract of out eternal love. 1400
We'll have as witness the god worshipped there:
We will pray that he acts towards us as a father.
I'll call on the names of the most holy gods.
And chaste Diana, and Juno, the august,
All the gods, in short, witnessing my tenderness, 1405
Will guarantee the faith of my sacred promise.

Aricia

The King approaches. Leave, Prince. Go, this instant.
To mask my departure I'll stay here a moment.
Go, now, leave me a faithful servant, though,
Who can direct my timid steps towards you. 1410

Act V Scene II (Theseus, Aricia, Ismene)

Theseus

You gods, lighten my trouble, and deign to show
To my eyes, the truth I'm seeking here below.

Aricia

Think of everything, Ismene, prepare our flight.

Act V Scene III (Theseus, Aricia)

You seem troubled, Lady, and your face is white.
Why was Hippolytus here with you as well? 1415

Aricia

My Lord, he was speaking an eternal farewell.

Theseus

Your eyes have tamed that rebellious heart:
His first sighs resulted from your happy art.

Aricia

My lord, I cannot deny the truth to you:
He did not inherit your unjust hatred too. 1420
He never treated me like a criminal.

Theseus

I understand, he swore a love, eternal.
Don't rely though on a heart that's so unsure:
He's sworn as much to other girls before.

Aricia

He, my Lord?

Theseus

You should have made him less fickle though: 1425
How is it you could endure to share him so?

Aricia

And how could you endure that terrible lies
Should darken the course of so fine a life?
Have you so little knowledge of his heart's reality?
Do you understand crime and innocence so poorly? 1430
Is it only your eyes an odious cloud covers,
Hiding his virtue that shines out to others?
Ah! To leave him to malicious tongues now.
Stop. And repent of your murderous vow:
Be fearful, my Lord, fearful lest heaven's rigour 1435
Hates you enough to execute your desire.
Often in anger it accepts our sacrifice:
Its gifts are often the punishment for our crimes.

Theseus

No, you'll conceal his offence in vain.
Your love blinds you in favour of the man. 1440
But I trust in sure irreproachable witnesses:
I've seen, I've seen true tears flow to excess.

Aricia

Take care, my Lord. Your unconquerable hand
From countless monsters, has freed the land:
But not all are destroyed, and you have spared 1445
One. . . your son, my Lord, forbids me to declare
What, knowing the respect he'd show to you,
I'd grieve him too much by daring to pursue.
I'll echo his discretion, and flee your presence,
So that I'm not required to break my silence. 1450

Act V Scene IV (Theseus)

Theseus

What is she thinking? And what do these words hide,
Hesitantly begun, and then quickly denied?
Are they trying to blind me with a useless feint?
Are they conspiring to cause me inner pain?
But I myself, despite my firm severity 1455
What plaintive voice calls out within me?
A hidden pity afflicts me, stuns my mind.
Let me question Oenone a second time.
I wish to be clearer about this whole affair.
Guards! Have Oenone alone come to me here. 1460

Act V Scene V (Theseus, Panope)

Panope

I'm not aware what purpose the Queen intends,
My Lord. But I fear where these throes may end.
A mortal despair is printed on her face:
The pallor of death already leaves its trace.
Already, driven in shame from her side, 1465
Oenone has drowned herself in the ocean tide.
No one knows what made those wild thoughts arise:
But the waves have snatched her forever from our eyes.

Theseus

What is this I hear?

Panope

Her death has not calmed the Queen:
The pain in her troubled soul seemed to increase. 1470
From time to time, to soothe her hidden sorrow,
She holds her children, drenched in a tearful flow:
Then suddenly renouncing her maternal love,
Pushes them far away from her in disgust.
She takes irresolute steps, at random: 1475
Her wandering eyes recognising no one.
Three times she began to write, and changed her mind,
Then tore up the letter she'd begun to write, three times.
Deign to see her, my Lord, deign to help her.

Theseus

Oenone is dead: and you wish to die, Phaedra? 1480
Call back my son, to defend himself, so he
Might speak to me: I'll hear him: I am ready.
Don't precipitate your deadly gifts yet,
Neptune: I'd prefer if nothing were granted.
Perhaps I believed too much in false witnesses: 1485
Raised my cruel hand too soon for you to bless,
Ah! What despair would follow my answered prayer!

Act V Scene VI (Theseus, Theramenes)

Theseus

Theramenes, is that you? Is my son not there?
I entrusted him to you at a tender age.
But why the tears I see you shed today? 1490
What of my son?

Theramenes

O useless tenderness!
Tardy, and idle care! Hippolytus is dead.

Theseus

You gods!

Theramenes

I have seen the best of mortals die,
And I dare say as well, my Lord, the least guilty.

Theseus

My son no more? What! As I held out my arms 1495
The gods impatiently hastened to do him harm?
What lightning struck? What blow has snatched him?

Theramenes

We had barely left the gates of Troezen,
He was in his chariot. His gloomy men
Echoing his silence, ranged around him: 1500
Pensive he took the road to Mycenae:
His hand had let the horses' reins hang free.
His proud stallions that previously appeared
Nobly obeying his voice, and full of ardour,
With grieving eyes and with lowered brow, 1505
Seemed responsive to his sad thoughts, now.
A fearful cry, risen from the depths of the sea,
Troubled, in an instant, the quiet of the scene:
And from the heart of the earth a strident voice
Replied with groans to that formidable noise. 1510
The blood froze in our hearts profoundest depths
The manes of the startled horses stood erect.
Meanwhile over the surface of the watery plain,
A liquid mountain rose through boiling waves:
Neared us, shattered, and from the foaming breaker 1515
Vomited to our eyes a raging monster.
Its broad brow was horned, armed with menace,
Its whole body scaly, yellow as jaundice,
Untameable bull, or impetuous dragon,
Hindquarters coiling like a tortuous serpent. 1520
Its long-drawn out bellowing shook the shore.
The heavens viewed the savage monster with horror,
The earth quaked, and the air was infected,
The terrified wave that carried it recoiled.
All fled, and not pretending useless bravery, 1525
Each man sought refuge in the neighbouring sanctuary.
Hippolyte alone, worthy to be a hero's son,
Reined in his horses, seized his javelin,
Drove at the monster, and with a steady hand
Dealt him a gaping spear wound in the flank. 1530
The monster reared upwards in pain and anger,
Fell at the horses' feet, groaning, rolled over,
And presented its fiery muzzle to them, again,
Covering them with blood, smoke and flame.
Panic took them, and deaf as they were then, 1535
They recognised neither voice nor the rein.
Their master exhausted himself in useless struggle,
While in the blood-wet foam they stained their bridles.
They even say some saw, in this wild confusion,
A god who goaded their dusty flanks: a vision. 1540
Their fear drove them headlong over the rocks,
The axle groaned and shattered, brave Hippolytus
Saw his whole chariot break into fragments.
He himself fell entangled in the harness.
Forgive my sorrow. That cruel sight to see 1545
Will be an eternal source of tears to me.
My Lord, I have seen your unfortunate son
Dragged by the horses nourished by his hand.
He tried to call to them, and they feared the sound:
They ran. His whole body was one vast wound. 1550
And the plain echoed to our sorrowful cries.
At last they slowed their impetuous flight.
They stopped not far from the ancient sepulchres,
Where lie the cold relics of our ancestral rulers.
Sighing I ran to him, and his guards followed. 1555
The track of his noble blood ran on ahead.
The rocks were stained with it: the cruel brambles
Were strewn with his hair, in blood-wet tangles.
I reached him, called: stretching out his hand to me
He opened his dying eyes: and closed them suddenly. 1560
Saying: 'From me, Heaven claims an innocent life.
Take care of my dear Aricia, after I die.
Dear Friend, if my father's eyes are ever opened,
And he pities the fate of a falsely maligned son,
And wants to appease my blood, my shade so restless, 1565
Tell him to treat his captive with tenderness,
And give back to her. . . ' The hero was no more,
Leaving in my arms only his disfigured corpse,
Sad object of the god's triumphant anger,
Unrecognisable, even to his own father. 1570

Theseus

O my son! Dear hope now snatched from me!
Inexorable gods, who served me all too surely!