No More Learning

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22 The REHEARSAL.
O. Art thou not true to your cause, to restore our cem- mon-ivealth ? whose health thou hast drank in many a bumper, by the name of old puss, at our calves head feasts.
C. I hope you don't mistrust me, master ; the last drop of my blood for the good old cause.
I'll
spend
O. I doubt not thygoed will, country-man, therefore I will open my heart to thee. Thou know'st what pains I have taken to blacken the present ministry, I mean all of them that are not on our side.
C. Right ! master, that has been the sole business of all
thy Observators.
O. Besides, turning the revolution upon the foot of the
depofing doctrine, and the power of the people. Taking no notice at all of the abdication, upon which the convention went. We spoke of this last Saturday ; wherein I answered
. fully whatever cou'd be objected to the contrary. Now, by this, country-man, we preserve our right to depose what king or queen we please. And have full liberty and pro
perty to justify the glorious revolution offorty-one. And if any dare speak against even upon their madding-day, of the 30th of January, we immediately brand them as high-fliers, tories, and tantivy-men, nay very perkinites, and enemies to the revolution.
C. There thou hast them fast, my boy.
O. Having sixt thisfoundation, we next come to apply it. And that done by asperstng all of the ministry that are not for our purpose, and making them odious to the nation. And then there ground for new revolution, as was formerly, andformerly. Unless the whole mi nistry be put in to the hands of ourfriends, who know
what to do with' it.
For this end, thou know'st have bespatter the bishops
and clergy, both houses of convocation, the house of com mons, the council-table, the judges, and put them all into my list of knaves, in my Observator, Vol. 2. N. 99. And likewise thou know'st how villainously have treated the
duke of Marllorough, and Sir Gecrge Rook, the commanders in chief both sea and W. And then magnify the heroical achievements in the last reign, to disparage them.
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The REHEARSAL.
23 And because the house of commons prefled so hard the bill
against occafional conformity, we legion' d mi million V them to the purpose all over the nation. By this means we hop'd to getanew parliament, more to our own mind. And then how we wou'd have bellow'd, and made interest, to
shew, that nothing was done either by sea or land. And therefore that it was necessary the old ministry and generals u\ouM be employ'd, who had done such wonders under
K. William.
Now, country-man, consider what it is to be difap
pointed of all these glorious expectations ! To hear the cburcb-party boast, thatmore has been done in onesummer, under their administration, than in all the ten years war
before f under a queen of the name of Stuart, than under a foreigner ! under one English and royal-born, and an heart entirely English, who has promis'd to encourage and main
tain the church of England as by law establish'd; and upon all occafions ofpromotions to any ecclefi
astical dignity, to have a very just regard to such, as are eminent and remarkable for their
vahich shall be thought proper, it may be securely transmitted
andsettled to posterity.
Now men of constant zeal for the church of England,
as by law establish 'd, will never think that it is an encou ragement to her, and a proper method to transmit her se curely settled, to divest her of thosesecurities which the
lain has already given her. That the corporation acl, and the test act, which debar all from places of power
and trust who are not of her communion.
C. And how have we got off from those laws?
O. By a notable dislinction. not man of such or such communion, while he of
C. Most certainly, Sir.
O. Therefore, we go to church, receive the sacrament upon our knees, which we us'd to call idolatry, and con form to tittle with all the whole liturgy, rites, and cere
monies, which "we give as the reasons of our non-conformi ty
and constant zeal for the
Queen's Speech
** ~"sj'a~ eb- 27
piety, learning,
church ; that by this and all other methods,
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The REHEARSAL.
ty. Then who can fay we are non-conformists ! We are not surely so, at that instant while we are conforming. And so we are within the letter of the /aw, tho' we return to our conventicles next day ; and rail as much at the
the queenhas promis'd to maintain ) call this an eluding of the Innu. Besides the vile hypocrisy in this practice. And therefore have brought in a hill (which we have twice thrown out) to explain . those laws, not to have meant otcastonal conformity only, but a constant conformity to the church establish'd. It being impossible for those laws to have any other meaning, than not to trust those who were not truly and fincerely in the interest of the church esta blished, with such places ofpower as to be enabl'd to de
stroy her.
As when we made laws to exclude the malignants, and
all friends of the anti-christian episcopal hierarchy, in our blessed reign. We wou'd have mumbs d the rogues, if they had offer'd to have eluded our laws, by an occafeonal and hypocritical conformity. We wou'd soon have let them know, what was the true import and meaning of the law, with a halter about their necks.
C. All in good time, master.
O. Alas ! • when now ? country-man, these uictories in the hands of church-men, have stopt our mouths. What shall we fay \ How shall we railzx the ministry nextfiffion ofparliament ? How do we know we shall procure a new
parliament ? In which of our administrations can we pre tend the publick treasury was so frugally and yet honour ably manag'd ? In supporting such vast alliances, and car rying our t ms into the heart of Germahy, where English colours were never seen before. And then the success ,
[oh ! that torments our souls'] which has attended all this ! Then they'll be comparing this with the other sort offuc- ces/es which we had, when foreigners commanded our troops, at Steenkirt, Landcn, and along, £ff c. for ten years together. They'll mind us of the address made by the
house of lards to K. Will. That the commander in chief, under
ehurch as ever.
Now the constant zealots for the church establish d'(whom
The REHEARS AL'.
inder his majejly, of the English forces, should be a natu- val-born-fubject of his majesty's. And complaining of the ! oss of honour to the English abroad, in the posts allow'd
:hem, and stipulated in former reigns, as well as dishonour :hereby to the crown of England. And humbly intreat- ing that so many foreigners shou'd not be imploy'd, par ticularly in the Tower of London over the stores, arms, and office of ordinance, Sec. Of all which he took no notice. The foreigners still carry 'd it. They'll fay, that foreign ers will still employ foreigners, and trust them before the English. And thence represent to us the happiness of the cronvn being again return'd to the true line of the Stuarts,
which we resolv'd to extirpate, as was nastily discover d in the informations p. 1 34. annex'd to the account of the
Rye-house conspiracy. But the fame resolution was renew'd, with -vows, by some of the chiefs of us, upon the execution
(which we call martyrdom) of L. R. And' I'll tell thee country-man, we had it in full scent, and cou'd hardly have been disappointed, but for these, O these late victories,
which have broke all our measures.
Ten to one, but the hill against occafional-conformity may now come on again, and be carrfd. Which if it
be not, the corporation and test acts, the only things that now hamper us, are gone for ever. And occafional con formity, having been so often debated, and nothing enact
ed against will pass and be hereaster understood, as the true and genuine meaning of the corporation act, and the test act, and that nothing more requird them. And then let the constant xealots see how their church establish V
will be secur'd and transmitted to posterity! You know there an old faying, new lords, new laws. And that every dog has his day
C. That is, long look for comes at last. like not
these delays and hopes. I'd be doing. Is there nothing now to be set forward Is your heart in your hose Come
pluck up, master, I'll stand thee.
O. am little down at present. But in my next,
shall shew thee what to be done. And how our mat ters are to be order am going to council learned in the law. Therefore can stay no longer with thee now. From
Vol.
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26 The REHEARSAL.
From &at. Aug. 26, to ,§at. Sept. z, 1704. N°5.
Of the former and present state of legion. Of the burning of London, An. 1666.
Ca«». T Left thee last tinie going to thy council Iearnei X in the law, and the close-juncto-cabal. What have they determin'd ? what have I now to do? have
they quite given over the cause : and must we fit down quietly under a church of England queen, and churci
? charm'd with the noise of their good management of the treasury and councils at home,
of England ministry
. and their glorious successes abroad !
O. No, country-man, our legion is of that breed of
. devils, who defy the voice of the charmer, charm he
jiever so wisely. For they stop their ears. They are deaf adders. But they are aot dumb. None hiss so loud as they. And the word is given, to hiss now
jnore loudly than ever. For we have to do with a peo ple who are'aH ears, but have no eyes. And therefore they believe every thing that they hear, but nothing that they see. Make a noise, tom,—hollow, boys, hollo, —that carries it with the mob—who care not a far- thing for all your reasoning and disputing. You had as
good preach to a beetle ; or to the roaring of the sea.
Therefore we must sill them with resentments, and work
upon their passions.
And one special rule is given to us, never to matter
truth or faljhood. That will hamper ones invention. And it is all one as to mob, the one goes down as well as the other.
C. Right ! master. That is the constant rule we have observ'd all the way fromforty one downwards. But the rogues will be disproving of our lies. What mall we do then ?
O. Psha, man, thou art an ofe. Thou art not half learn'd
The REHEARSAL.
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learn'd in our mystery. Disprove quotha! what signi sies that ? repeat the fame lye, over and over again, and with ten times more assurance. Never heed answering.
Who minds answers. 'Tis the weakest side that answers. They are the desendants. And it is the attacking party carries it, ten to one.
That martyr and bead of the church in forty-one-time* whom we made a calves- head of, was full ofhis answer ing. And what did we return to his fine well-pennd declarations and messaces, full of reason, law, and all that ? the more of that we found in we answer 'd
with more insolent and bold resolve. And we carry it. For that shew'd we had power. And the lels reason that power gives, the greater. You may as well preach in battle, or make speech to great
reason, who contend
may recruit sooner than we can do. How then, master O. Ne'er trouble thy head. They know better how
to get victory over us, than how to make use of when they have got it. They will begin to court and flatter us again, to shew their moderation! and still con tinue to employ us in places of power to please us. This was the method used by King Charles all along. Who often had in his power to have crusht us to no thing, and ended what he called our rebellion. This gave us still new strength, and we gained by his advan tages over us, as well as by ours over him. For this shewed us to be the considerable party that must be gra tisied and of whom the government was afraid. This magnisied us in the eyes of the people, till we got them all over to us at last.
They had greater victory over us than all they have gained this summer, when we lost our immortal King William, and her present Majesty ascended the throne,
with an heart entirely English, and who promised to main
gun, as seek to convince those
for power.
£ But when the power
on their side too As by these late mictories, more over us, than over the French; who, am afraid,
they have evidently gained
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The HEHEARSAL;
,maintain the church of England, as by law established? and to promote those who were constantly zealous for her, . with a •very just regard. We were then under their feet. We were known in the streets. None of us having the ,heart to look above his toes. They needed noLhave/rW
upon the poor worms. We were gasping our last. Even
do'st not remember, then tacked about, to fave our bacon, and laid load upon king Wit- Hum and his ministry, particularly the foreigners, which
J. myself, country-man,
was the language we thought would please.
What a
bloody character did I give of the E. of A— le in my
Observators of Dec. z6. and 30, 1702. telling of what vast sums of English money were given him to build his house in Gelderland, which I equall'd almost to Versailles. Then I sell upon the other Dutch favourite the E. of /* nd, and faid, that Jie was not willing to let any body plunder the king / And from what
wonder d what became all the money was raised? And in contempt of these Dutch-men, I faid in mine of Januarys. 1702. That this is but scandalum magnal-um equofum battavorum. And
was given them and others,
of
befides himself.
coming to more private affairs, I could I
tell many
that would the world; andif of
don't
things surprize publish
all (fay I) ,tis not tospare the Iking. And I tell that I had all this from a friend that attended the late king 12 years
together, here and beyond sea, a person os such judgment that nothing escap'd Mm. And I conclude, toshew mj countrymen, how much they have been misted and deluded by men who liv'd at discretion on the publick in the late reign, and gained a popular applause to justify them in their pira cies on the nation s treasure. But that my meaning might be more plainly understood, and to curry favour in time,
To
I prosess 'd in my Observator of Dec. 26. 1 702.
the fate of those worthy members expos'd to publick scandal by execrable wretches in a black list ; and of that god
parliament against which the lecionites drew up their forces. And in my next Observator of Dec. 30. 1 blackin king William ; and call the peace of Refwick, which he
. made, shameful to the English nation. And fay of him,
shart
THe REHEARSAL:
29 he TJVtZS astranger to our country, and knew not the merits
and sufferings of our natives. This was to shew the hap piness of a prince that was English born. Then I add, the neglect of us proceeded from the vertue of the English tri- Umuirate, and other great faints- of little value. And that
We were betray'd and impoverish d in the late reign.
To this condition, country-man, wer« we then reduc'd ! •
to call our best friends execrable wretches; and our
made us- court the very black-list tantivy-men and high-flyers, as worthy members. Nay, we renounc'd-
fears
legion our Goo. Because we thought he could no long er protect us. And had we been but left to our selves a- little longer, without any force, or other ill usage, we-
had dyd away ; we had all been at church, by this time* without occasional conformity. We had been content, and thankful too, to be permitted to live peaceably, without
grasping after power.
But as soon as we were warmed with the rays of royal
favour, and found that we were eitherfeard or lov'dfo'
much, as to be entrusted with a flare of the government y
we immediately got new spirits, and power was again in our view. From that time forth we set our engines on. work to renew the republican principles ; and to blacken, and asperse all of the church interest that were in the mi
nistry, with no obscure reflections upon the fupream au thority. In all which I was employ'd as trumpeter-gene ral, and have taken true pains, because it requires more
lungs than brains.
bince that time, the church has not had such a hit at
us as now. As I faid before, if they know how to make use of it. They may now do what they will. They may
setde the whole ministry in their own hands ; and be rid of our din for ever. For we are never troublesome, but when we have a shareoi the power ; and then we contend for the whole. This we always have done; and ever
will do.
But, alas ! we now cannot so much as sind fault, if
the whole ministry were put into their hands, who have
so well, and
managed
had X
such glorious successes
3
! so* victories
So
The REHEARSAL.
victories charm the people. And the more now, consi dering what rarities they were in the last reign, when we had the administration, and when none of our armies. were commanded by an English, far less a church-man. .
But, on the other side, country-man, if they are afraid of us, and dare not take this advantage they have got against us ; but continue us still in those posts of honour and power that we have : Then what can conquer us, or fave
them ? who are ne'er the nearer for their Victories ; and must be rac'«Vwith their'sirst illsuccess. Which they know . we have both skill and courage to improve. And use not to flip an advantage. We play with cenerous game sters ! who take not what they win ; but must pay what they lose;
C. Thou hast made it out, master. All's our own t we can never lose at this rate, or ever be discourag'd. We live in hope, and the-church. in sear, let them get what victories they will.
Bat since we are thus securely settled, better than by
a£i ofparliament, I would have a little hanging-work, to' clear up this sad day. Thou know'st I'm all for fighting
or har. ging stories. This is the day we keep for the burn ing of London. Was no body hang'd for't since ?
I know not. But there were some
C. What! before it was done ?
O. Yes, five months before.
C. How cou'd that be ?
O. Why, the conspiracy was detected, both for kill
ing the king, and the burning of London, the Aprilbefbrc (he city was burnt, in the year 1 666. Eight of the con
O. before.
hang'd
for't
were taken and try'd at the Old Baily, and hang'd for't. And proclamations were issued out after others of them who fled. The trial of those eight who sufl'er'd was printed. Wherein the evidence was full and
clear against them. And that the 3d of September follow ing was the day appointed by their juncto for the burning And these confpi: faid, that tho' they
Were taken, the design would go on, and London sliould
spirators
The REHEARSAL.
3*' be burnt that fame day ; for it could not be alter'd, be
cause they had cast a scheme for it. And it was burn'd the fame day. For the sire began on the 2d of Septem- tember, about n or 1 2 at night, that it might be well lighted in the morning.
C. I must see that trial. I'll warrant these were
some of the high-Jlying tantivy church-men. They ought all to be hang'd. We shall ne'er be quiet for 'em. Nor then neither.
O. I hear that trial will be re-printed. In the mean time, you may see something of it in the London Ga zettes of Apr. 26 and 30, 1666, Num. 47, 48, 49.
C. Thou hast set me a gog. \ shall not sleep 'till I read these Gazettes. And thou shalt publish them in thy
Observators. We'll turn it upon the bigh-church. Now. we have the dogs in a string.
from &at. Sept. zd, to ^af. Sept. 9, 1 704. N° 6.
Mare of the Fire of London. The Aclors in it. And the Endfor •which it was defigned.
Com. Ty O X take thee for an Obstrvater. If thou serves me facb another trick, my oaken-towel shall
come to thy share.
Ob. How now, country-man, thou'rt grown very resty, of late.
C. Thou sent'st me full speed last Saturday to look for 3 London Gazettes, Numb. 47, 48, 49. In full expec tation to sind that it was the High-church men who> burnt London, or else such a relation of as to give us room to turn upon them. Whereby we hadfunk them for ever. But on my conscience, man, was the True- blue-whigs, the very club who did and, •was me, were bang'd for't.
O. did to try thy zeal, and thy wit. Thy zeal* to see any. thing cou'dy^a^ thee from the good-old
eause^
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And thy wit, -to see "if thou can'st not yet find,
cause.
way to turn it upon the high-church ?
C. As to my zeal, I'd rather 100 London* were
burnt, than that the cause should miscarry.
wit, I afk thy pardon, the devil can't turn this upon tht church, Mr. Bays.
O. No. No one devil has so muchirave impudence. But Legion has. And has done it.
C. How? Prithee.
O. Why, we have turn'd it upon the Court; and
thou know'st, that's all one with the Church, for they
always keep together ; and the one supports the other. C. That's true. We always sind it so; And there
fore when we down with one, we must dawn with both; But how the devil can'st thou turn it- upon the court? have we any proofs ?
But for my
O. I shall never do good with thee. Thou'rt still . talking of proofs. How oft have I told thee, that we have no need of proofs ? Thou souce-crown, what i» it
that Proofs do prove? . '
C. Why the Truth. What shou'd they prove?
O. Then they detect lies, don't they ?
C. O,* now my understanding begins to- open — Be
sides, what wou'd become ofjealoufies, and fears, and surmises, and innuendoes, ifproofs were requir'd? We shou'd be quite disarm'd, and not have one stone to throw, if proofs come in play. Therefore go on, my
dear bully.
O. We fay then, that these were honest men who were
hang'd for the sire of London; because they were all of vs. And consequently, that it was a court and fham-
plot, to cast so terrible an odium upon vs.
C. Then the court were the witches, who told of the sire of London, four months before it came to pass. And
nam'd the very day on which it was done !
O. 'Tis easie for managers to be prophets. > C. But they don't use to blab at this rate, and tell
their own designs before-hand.
O. What is that to me ? let them look to that!
C But
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33 C. Æut these poor men. who suffer'd for did con
fess it.
O. They were rogues for that. But no doubt they
Were britid to brib'd the court, as sure as
C. What! briVd to be hangdl
O. Ay, ay, for the good of their wives and chit- -
dren.
C. Some of them were my neighbours. And we faw
. Rone of their wives or children the better for't.
O. They were oblig'd by the court not to make
Jhe•-tu ofit.
C. Does this pass among our people
O. As clear as Lightning for I'll tell thee, country-'
man, we have us'd them so to believing, that they are -
now got beyond any common probability; they care not for it, has no relish upon their palate, which has beerr
so long seasood with haut-govsts. And lie that wou'd choak others, go's down with them as glib as chicken- hroth. And the greater the lie the surer 'the truth of
They examine not what told them, but from whom comes* We cannot invent any thing they will not
believe. Nor the churchmen prove any thing by ten thousand- demonstrations, and facts as clear as tha fun, which they will believe. And the more they prove, you must believe the less. La ye," countryman, be sure
there's some trick in'r, when they come to proving.
C. " I'll ^varrant ye, master, they shall ne'er catch me
believing ot not believing, but as serves the cause.